I think I would have liked your grandfather, Ruth.
Jenn, I'm sorry people can't just live and let live. As the others have said you're doing great. You've found what works for you and what others think about your choices doesn't matter.
I can usually let things go without getting too worked up, but for me the subjects of food/exercise/weight are very personal. I can laugh off rude comments about my work, my home, choices that I make, even my family and faith - because I am confident and content in those areas.
I have to work hard not to be hurt by remarks about what I eat, or about my exercise and recreation choices because I don't have that same confidence and contentment in those areas of my life.
So, rather than open myself up to criticsm that's hard for me to handle, I keep those parts of my life private. Other my husband and kids you ladies are the only ones I'm comfortable discussing my food choices and exercise habits with.
(But if they want to know my weight - they'll have to log in and check my ticker. lol)
Karen -- maybe it's PMS but I teared up reading your sweet words. Thank you for that (sometimes a little motivation and reinforcement from people who "get" what I am doing feels good). Yes, he is a "friend" - actually a former colleague so he knows the Jenn of 6 years ago...
litar -- good point. I'll just p00p out the bad
Sadly, I am a fighter and don't let things go But I will let this one slide...and be stronger than them
Thank you all for your support. And I hope this helped out some others to read too.
Hello All, I am new here. My husband and I started on SB last week and are doing GREAT!! I am down 7 pounds as of this morning.
Jenn, I completely get what you are saying. When I mention to people that we are on South Beach, I get lots of comments, such as "Well, you better be careful on that" and "Do you REALLY need to lose weight?" (which makes me laugh.)
Wouldn't it be nice if people just said "Good for you" and left it at that?
I used to defend my baby South Beach Diet, but I don't anymore. I just let people say what they want to say. I know for sure that this diet works and that I am a healthier and disciplined person from it. Once I dropped all of the weight I got back into "real" things because now I look and think before I eat.
I think I'd be tempted to delete the comment It's a downside to the internet.
Sometimes people are well-meaning, and sometimes clueless, and sometimes, I think, just plain spoilers. Poster: "I've found something wonderful! Product X. It's totally changed my attitude to breakfast. i can stick to this! I've lost 20 pounds in a month!" Comment: "Did you know that Product X was found to cause cancer in worms? AND it has .000001 grams of cane sugar." Grrr. Enjoy your brownies
I think I'd be tempted to delete the comment It's a downside to the internet.
Sometimes people are well-meaning, and sometimes clueless, and sometimes, I think, just plain spoilers. Poster: "I've found something wonderful! Product X. It's totally changed my attitude to breakfast. i can stick to this! I've lost 20 pounds in a month!" Comment: "Did you know that Product X was found to cause cancer in worms? AND it has .000001 grams of cane sugar." Grrr. Enjoy your brownies
They do everything they can to try to MAKE you drink, because your NOT drinking makes them feel guilty about their own, and they feel VEEERRRRRYY uncomfortable
You have just described my grandfathers relationship with my father
Come on Jer, just have a drink with me.. just one.. aw come on.. just one.. what are you a wimp?
My father is now a recovering Alcoholic
I don't think food is much different.
Come on Jen, have some pie.. just one piece.. aw come on.. what are you a wimp?
ETA: My name is Jen too.. just realized the Original poster is Jenn.. I was referring to myself... boy this could get confusing
Last edited by KicknKnit; 01-21-2010 at 02:20 PM.
Reason: Clarity
Everyone thinks they are an expert on food and everyone has an opinion. On top of that a lot of people feel threatened when someone they know gets healthy. Hey I was obese and sedentary for years. I always blamed my genes, my metabolism, etc and there was something intimidating about someone I knew actually doing what I couldn't quite manage.
I admit that I often just tell people I eat a whole foods diet and avoid white stuff. Sometimes I don't feel like getting into the whole song and dance. I do spend a lot of time explaining my program in great detail if I think someone is genuinely looking for answers though.
Just wait until you lose a significant amount of weight. I just loved all the people I barely knew who felt they had a right to tell me they thought I'd lost enough weight now. People like a little success, but I suspect many would prefer we gain the weight back and stop making them question their food choices.
I really learned a lot living with a diabetic. I could always defend her food requirements and choices. It's amazing how many people just suggest shooting a little more insulin so you can eat those cookies When I remember that I am making the choices I must make for my health I'm less concerned about all the helpful input from otehrs.
Just wait until you lose a significant amount of weight. I just loved all the people I barely knew who felt they had a right to tell me they thought I'd lost enough weight now. People like a little success, but I suspect many would prefer we gain the weight back and stop making them question their food choices.
I can cosign that one. I lost all of the weight and people still tell me why I shouldn't eat healthy all of the time...someone's Aunt passed away because she was too healthy. *hears crickets* And people who lose weight fast like me usually gains it all back fast. I've been maintaining for a little over a year...Jan. 7, 2010 was my Anniversary. So, they were wrong. We call them "haters" from where I'm from. Write them off.
Sass, where are you from in New Jersey? I grew up near Philly.
I'm no where near Philly...I am in Union which is next to Newark which is 10 mins away from NYC. I went to Philly only once in my life and that was to attend a bird competition my hubby participates in. Great city!!!!
3D people are weird, and ultimately, I think you have to consider the source and give all respect where respect is due.
Here's a conversation I'm still puzzling over that happened about 1 month after I started SBD. I had just discovered Sugar Snap Peas in a convenient ?8 oz bag (about a quart bag size) for maybe $2? or $1.75? and I was buying them and bringing them to school. I could snack on them all day, I liked them, and the only alternatives at school were 100% BAD. I was about 250 (down from 260 and 5'6". I was talking to my good friend who I knew was also struggling with dieting (and specifically had just fallen off a diet where she had tried cutting out carbs a few months earlier) so I wanted to share with her how much I liked the peas, and to another good friend of ours who has successfully lost 70 pounds and maintained a size 6 for several years (and is now a vegetarian).
Friend #1: I'm starving, I missed dinner. Guess I'll go get a candy bar from the machine...
Me: Hey, I have some cheese sticks, and try these, they are great, they are called "sugar snap peas" but they don't taste like peas!
Friend #2: Oh, those are great! I'll have some, thanks!
Friend #1: *tries* Wow! these are great, they taste really good!
Me: Yeah! They taste great, they have this fresh-pack and they only cost $1.69! I carry them around all day and munch on them, totally satisfies my snack craving.
Friend #2: That's a great idea!
Uninvited 3D woman: *incredibly loudly* Eeew! PEAS!!! I wouldn't eat peas if my life depended on it! And a DOOOOOLLAR, that's a RIPP to pay for PEEEEEAZ. I can't believe you would waste your MONEY on something like that!
Uninvited 3D was lucky she was at a seminary and not in a high school, 'cause we couldn't respond with our "inside voices." U3D doesn't fit into the desks at school (and a friend who is 350 pounds does). She appears to spend more on her food than I do (since every class I have with her she brings a bag of fast food, which I notice because I have to smell her fries the whole time). Health and wellness doesn't seem to be a priority.
But I think that U3D was not commenting so much on how much she disliked peas, but rather her own feelings about her own weight (or other people's weight loss).
I'm dealing with something similar right now, except it is with my best friend. For the new year, we decided to get healthy together. She gets upset with me because I've stuck to my plan and lost weight. She is a sometimes atkins, sometimes phentermine, sometimes nothing type person and has been yo-yoing the same 3-4 lbs. She poo-poo's my food choices all the time. I told her earlier that tonight, I'm having my curry chicken on top of shredded cabbage instead of over rice and she laughed and said that any healthy plan would WANT me to eat brown rice. She doesn't really understand the concept to South Beach. She does, however, love to experiment with diet drugs and gets totally upset when I continually upstage her in our weekly weigh in. I've lost 12, she's lost maybe a pound or so.
Just yesterday, she said that she was cleaning house and was really hungry, so she ate half a bag of pizza rolls. really? someone that is trying to lose weight probably shouldn't touch pizza rolls. I gave her a recipe for the SB tortilla pizza and said it would satisfy her pizza craving and she turned her nose up at it.
I guess some people never change and I guess I have to learn that I have to do what is best for MY life and not worry so much about what the people around me think
I think I would have liked your grandfather, Ruth. 
lol)
But I will let this one slide...and be stronger than them 
It's a downside to the internet. 
That made me LOL for real!
When I remember that I am making the choices I must make for my health I'm less concerned about all the helpful input from otehrs.
I went to Philly only once in my life and that was to attend a bird competition my hubby participates in. Great city!!!!
