I quit before I even began a second time. I literally didn't make it through day one.
I got a new job, and to celebrate.... FOOD. But not just food. Subway for lunch 1, boston market for lunch 2 and sushi w/ creme puffs for dinner.
I ATE SO MUCH AT DINNER I GOT SICK IN THE PARKING LOT! I was with my hubby but it was so embarrassing. He held my hair back because I was gluttonous.
I feel out of control and here I am again at day one and I am doing it. I got up and ate breakfast even though I am not hungry. I am resisting my cravings because of all my crap eating this week. I want it. I really do I just lose control.
I can usually pick out bored hunger. And hunger hunger but crazy eating when busy and not hungry caught me off guard. Thats not me. Bored hungry is me. Not binge eater.
I am still down a pound this week. I know its not weight related but this is a new low for me.
I have signed on here and commented a few of you but I never committed to loving you or being loved by this group... that is changing NOW! I am here and I am going to put as much into it as I plan to take.
We all mess up sister! Glad you're back on the wagon with us- you must have a really great hubby- I bet he will give you support for this too ;0) tell him to keep you away from the donuts and sushi! lol
Just dust off and keep right on truckin- you know were here when you need us! and I like you am dusting myself off again at the moment, jumped right back in this morning!
Aj, first - congrats on the new job!
Sorry to hear about your rough day. Just try to think that each day is a new day to eat healthy, try not to think about yesterday.
You can do it! Everyone has horrible food days. No worries.
rdw1- Thank you. I think I just saw this as another plan so when I fell off it was like... what ever but I really do want SB as a way of life for me. The plan I was on before had no beans or cheese so this is really not that restricting. Aren't you a reg here though?
Margalo- I love that! So much I am stealing it! That is me and I need to stand up! =) <3
AJ - you did the most important first thing - you came back, wrote the words and started over. The most important thing you can do right now is complete a clean Phase 1. You need to get those cravings under control and start working on gaining the upper hand. It's going to be a little harder this time because every time you give in you reinforce that habit. Every time you take control you reinforce that. Have you ever read any of the Beck stuff? You might find it really helpful. I completely understand where you are, been there and been there and been there. Just put one foot in front of the other and move forward. You can do this.
The best part about messing up, is that you have learned a lesson. Take from this experience and don't let it go!
Something similar happened to me when I started dieting. I realized that salads with vinegar (one of my favorite treats!) were practically 0 calories... So I ate one. Or two. Or five... And then had some pasta. And then more salad...
I have never eaten enough to make me barf. Not before this day. Chunks of chewed up lettuce and elbow noodles swam around my toilet bowl. What a wake up call! Before then, I never thought I had a problem. But wow... This has only happened to me once, and it's not going to happen again! I hope you can take something away from this experience too, so that it won't happen again!
Beginning is really the hardest part of this journey...Once you are well on your way, it will be second nature to you.
For a clean phase one..first, don't plan on eating out. Eat at home and bring your food with you to work. If you HAVE to eat out, get grilled something and a salad. But it's better if you spend that two weeks "alone" with your body telling it what to do!!
Second...plan, plan, plan. Sit down and write out a menu for a few days and stock up on the stuff you need. Get rid of any crap you have in the house. Don't let yourself EVER be hungry...if you need to eat more, do it, but only eat stuff on the list. Paint your fingernails, give yourself a facial, put white strips on your teeth...whatever to pamper yourself every evening. If you keep yourself pampered and busy and think ahead a day or so, you'll do just fine!
Don't think of this as a "diet". You just eat healthy now. Don't think of it as "restricted"...it's a new adventure in eating. Try new stuff you've never tried before and be adventurous!
Last edited by femmecreole; 01-24-2010 at 05:55 PM.
CyndiM- Thank you. Sometimes I feel like I am wearing two different shoes but I am going to try!
Lexxiss- Thank you again! You have been amazing.
Wild Vulpix- YES! this is a first for me too and it was horrible! I never want to eat my self sick again. Even if it is salad!
femmecreole- I love the idea of planning out a few days. I did 5 days by waking up and writing it all down but maybe really planning will kick my butt! And I love the pampering idea! I never do that!
I am a regular on here- just because I am always posting doesn't mean I am always on track! ;0) But it definitely makes a big difference when I am in here often! the support is greatly needed! Planning is my major major major key to success... I tend to fail to plan... which is almost like planning to fail for me. SO I try to stay here as often as possible and plan my meals!
it'll be alright, write it off as a little spoof in your path, walk on it and keep going!! These things happen...mine was a few days ago- I had a snowball of bad things happen, a fight with bf, my car brakes going, and cranky co-workers... and so: 20 pc mcnugget, small fry, dble chsburger.. viola!! +2lbs or so... but walk on hun, walk on...
Jenn- It just sucks that I feel like i have never wanted it this bad and I still let myself down. And each time I pick myself up I think... this is the time that my life changes... and then snowball into an avalanche. =(
rdw1- I love that. Fail to plan therefor plan to fail! I am writing it on my fridge! =)
NightAngel26- It feels good to know someone else has had a major breakdown and jumped back in it! I need to know that I am not the only one on earth that does this thing! =)
I really need your support and arse kicking!
, there's a Japanese aphorism: Fall down seven times, get up eight. Don't beat yourself up too much, and hang in there!
