Everyone in my family wanted the traditional hotdogs,baked beans ,deviled eggs,potato salad , chips ect for tomorrow...No problem..I am fixing it all and I will have a hotdog (no roll) and a deviled egg.
This is what gets old...I have many people in my family that are obese and they see my plate (when theirs is piled with enough food for 5 people )and always say things like ..
"is that all you are eating"
"you don't eat enough for a bird"
"are you sick"
For years I have just said I am watching my calories when I want to say..
"If I ate what you ate, I would weigh what you weigh"
What can I say that isn't too mean but gets the point across that
I would love to pile my plate up but I would weigh 300 pounds if I did ?
These are the same family members that claim their metabolism is the reason they are heavy...are you kidding ??
I know I sound mean right now but I am tired of feeling like I am ruining their
party because I am not pigging out.
I really do not know what you should say. I will tell you this, by watching what my sister in law and sister eats at family gatherings is one thing that pushed my in the right direction. I was never one to make a comment, because I knew why they ate the amount they did. They both were skinny in high school, gained weight in college, then did something about it to get back to their high school self. They are really helpful to me, and it is because of their help I am losing weight. I know I am not down much right now, but I have cut down and tracked my calories the past few weeks, and have found that amount of food is not going to starve me. Just lead by example, one of the less outspoken members of your family may follow.
This is what gets old...I have many people in my family that are obese and they see my plate (when theirs is piled with enough food for 5 people )and always say things like ..
"is that all you are eating"
"you don't eat enough for a bird"
"are you sick"
For years I have just said I am watching my calories when I want to say..
"If I ate what you ate, I would weigh what you weigh"
Families...gotta love them. Right??? I don't think you need to defend what you eat. You're at a nice weight now and probably they HAVE noticed. Some may be jealous; others just don't get it (eating less & more healthy options).
Just do what you're doing and smile when asked those stupid questions. They already know why you are eating sensibly and maybe someday some of them may follow suit. Or not.
Enjoy your hotdog and deviled egg. Maybe bring something like a nice 3 bean salad that you could enjoy and others could share. And most of all...enjoy being thin. Congrats on that.
I am happy my family never asked me things like that..
But my husband is another story.. I dont like meat, so i dont eat anything i dont like.. but now at picnics.. He always asks why arent you eating. Bla bla bla.. instead of the song and dance, I take a burger bun, and fill it with veggies and fill the rest of my plate with some fruit and toss salad. No one knows. --They see a full plate and me eating.
and i eat slow..And keep my cup filled with water..
Because if i start with.. I dontlike meat.. everyone thinks im a freak and bla bla bla.. so this way we all win! LOL
good luck!
People say a lot of this stuff, because it's what they think they're supposed to say. It's often part of many family traditions to link enjoyment with food, and if you're not eating, you must not be enjoying yourself. The intention isn't malicious, so there's no need to rub their obesity in their faces.
I've had food pushers of all sizes at family gatherings, even skinny family members (sometimes the same ones who would criticise me for having too much on my plate on non-celebration days, like my thin dietitian sister).
My favorite low-cal picnic potluck dish is a vegetable salad that always gets raves (only then do I tell anyone how low-calorie and easyto make). I pour a good low-calorie vinaigrette (I usually make my own) over frozen veggies (Walmart's stir fry blends are awesome, especially the asparagus stir fry blend), and any other add-ins I'd like (diced bell pepper, onion, celery, grape tomatoes, pickled yellow pepper rings...). Then let it thaw overnight in the fridge (about 12 to 16 hours).
What's surprising is how many people ask for the recipe, and can't believe that something that tastes so good can be healthy and low calorie. Since my mom has lost a lot of weight with Weight Watchers, she makes a lot of great low calorie dishes for potlucks, and again people are shocked by how good the food can be.
I consider it a way to educate without preaching or lecturing. Most people are hesitant to diet, because they believe that it's all about deprivation and suffering, and while food volume contributes to obesity, it's often not the volume, but the composition of food that is the problem. When people learn that they can eat as much (volume-wise) as they would like to, and that low-calorie foods can be filling and delicious, they're more open to the process.
Whenever I'm criticized for not eating foods that aren't on plan, I always say "<insert food here> will be around forever, I don't need it (or want it) right now." It's usually a fairly neutral enough statement that keeps people from giving you looks and making comments about your healthy choices. Congrats though. I know some of that stuff is hard to give up esp during family functions. Good luck!
LOL, my family also has "metabolism" problems! I think its a condition caused by inability to pull away empty handed from the drive thru 3 times a day.
honestly they probably don't think about what your eating. its more of a habit of saying it to feel better about what they are eating. you could probably mumble the national anthem and they'd smile and move on. the fact is there comment bothers you more than them. so continue with whatever changes the subject and move on.
I've had everyone say that to me lately. My friends mostly and some of my family. I think because I just started this they are probably wondering what the heck is going on. The thing that has thrown them off is the no bun, but whatever. It depends on my mood how I answer to be honest lol. Sometimes I just laugh it off and say whatever if they give me crap, other times I explain AGAIN what I'm doing and why, and if I'm not in a very good mood I tell them to let it go and focus on something else besides my plate. I am just getting used to the fact that some of them will never let it go, but it's still hard sometimes.
Most people who ask these question don't really expect an answer. I give a general "This is all I fele like eating today. " I guarentee that they really don't care what you eat. THey just feel like they are supposed to say something, anything.
I kind of had the same problem at school this year...
every faculty meeting included pizza and dessert (aren't you going to eat?)
end of the year, teacher appreciation etc...literally nothing I could eat except for ONCE a fruit plate. ...
ONE person out of the whole faculty would INSIST that I eat something and I'd just say "no thanks, I brought my own food" One day when parents had set up a desset bar in the lounge, she kept on and on and on about how hard people had worked on all the desserts they sent and I should at least TRY something.
I smiled and looked at her and said, "Everything looks yummy and I know they worked hard and I adore everything they brought, but If you KNEW I was a recovering alcoholic, would you insist that I at least try one scotch??? My drug of choice was sugar and white flour and I can't get hooked again." She finally GOT IT then.
Last edited by femmecreole; 05-26-2009 at 12:37 PM.
Cat, I think your response is fabulous. Sometimes people need more than just a soft-core answer to finally get it through their heads. Most of the time, people don't even realize they are being pushy.
My husband's family used to be like that until I mentioned that I was trying to lose weight and it became a dead issue. They don't question what I put on my plate. They have been surprised at what I can eat and have enjoyed all of the recipes that I've contributed to gatherings.
I smiled and looked at her and said, "Everything looks yummy and I know they worked hard and I adore everything they brought, but If you KNEW I was a recovering alcoholic, would you insist that I at least try one scotch??? My drug of choice was sugar and white flour and I can't get hooked again." She finally GOT IT then.
Good answer...
What if I said
"I am allergic...if I eat it my whole body will swell up so bad that none of my clothes will fit"
Or we could say ..
"Dr's orders "
They don't have to know we are talking about the South Beach doctor!!
In my family we have dueling dieters. My SIL and nieces all follow Weight Watchers, and it seems the point there is low calorie/low points, so generally I can't eat whatever they bring. They won't eat what I bring (too many points because I include healthy fats). In the middle is my mom, who tries to accommodate us all - "look honey! I fixed this special diet dessert for you." Which, of course, is never SB legal, because they just don't get it. But at least nobody pressures anyone else to eat, and we all bring what we want.
Need help with how to answer this ?
I don't think you need to defend what you eat. You're at a nice weight now and probably they HAVE noticed. Some may be jealous; others just don't get it (eating less & more healthy options). 
