WARNING: this post is rather droopy, I apologize in advance!

Ok, so I have been around, I just haven't posted in what seems like weeks. Sorry ladies. I'm still doing really well, lost another two pounds this week at weigh in giving me a total of 23 lost so far in the last 5-6 weeks since I started.

I haven't cheated yet, but I feel it looming. A cheat is imminent and I don't know what to do. I'm panicking. I even ordered delivery last night and just couldn't bring myself to eat it. lol, I guess since I've been on the beach my stomach must have shrank or something cause before I could pack food away and look around for more where as I seem to be more satisfied on less now.

I don't know if it's a touch of SAD or what, but I just can't get out of this funk. DH works these sleepover shifts and I seem to find these nights the hardest.

I'm not having mad cravings for cake and cookies and what not, just a need to buy things I know are bad and then when I do, I don't want it.

Do I do another Ph 1? I can feel my resolve to go to the gym desolving. I joined the exercise challenge this month to try and keep myself motivated but I can see myself slipping over the month. I tried to give myself a pep talk last night but I just can't get out of this funk.

Any advice?

Oh, Jenny, I've gone through those funks too, so I know exactly what you're feeling.
Know what I've discovered? I felt even worse after I fell off the wagon! It was only a temporary "fix", and it sure wasn't worth it. All that work, down the drain, and for what? It just wasn't worth the guilt-trip.
Try to be strong and hang in there, and these feelings will pass, I promise. Why don't you plan something special to do for yourself while your DH is at work? Invite a friend over to watch a sappy movie together, or pamper yourself with a lovely bubble bath, then do your nails. Or even find a crafts project to work on to keep your hands and your mind busy.
You've done so well so far, don't cave in now! Post in here when you're feeling low, and we'll help boost your mood, OK?

Jenny, I get in those funks too, I think we all do. As a matter of fact the last one was just a couple of weeks ago. And the last time I cheated was...yesterday! and I did regret it because I had an upset stomach all afternoon and couldn't eat dinner. But you'll get through it. One day soon you'll wake up and feel much, much better and re-motivated. You just have to hang in there as well as you can for a little bit. You've done amazingly well so far and now just keep taking it one day at a time, be nice to yourself. Wanting to cheat isn't the same as cheating. And perfection isn't required for long-term success. Just make sure there isn't anything tempting around if you do get weak. Do it right now! Throw it in the trash!

In the past, when I lost a lot of weight, I've found that if my cravings were severe, it was something that triggered it. Hidden sugar in foods, or the wrong carb for my body. I would then go back to no carbs for a few days (3 usually does it) and the cravings would go away. Try exercising too. Sweating out the bad feelings sometimes gives you a new outlook. Good luck.

Great advice, Chickpeas!

Kristen, I especially agreed with the "some sugar slipped in" diagnosis. It's possible that it's just emotional, Jenny (and I do think we have to face those emotions and deal with them, now rather than later), but it's worth doing 3-5 days of P1 just to see if it helps. However, be aware that if you aren't suffering from sugar cravings but *are* feeling deprived, doing P1 might be just the thing to send you off into a binge.

I've definitely been there too...I think we all have! Here are some things to think about/try:

• You Rock! You did the right thing by coming here and thinking about the urge to cheat before you actually do! That shows lots of commitment and that you have the strength to get through this!!!
• Find Out What's Driving Your Cravings... Try sitting down and facing your feelings...I know this is WAY harder than it sounds. Take a friend (even a stuffed one! ) with you if you need it. Then open yourself to your feelings...try to even embrace them, if you can. What is making you want to binge/cheat? If you find out, for instance, that you are feeling lonely, you know that it makes much more sense to plan some time with friends (or time on here! ) than to eat, which won't make you feel less lonely. You know?
• Pamper Yourself! Do things for yourself that help you feel good but don't include food. Even if you think you don't have time or can't afford it...find ways to do this, no matter what. Paint your nails (or get a manicure...they can be cheap!), take a bath, read a fun novel, spend more time online, do a craft, spend time with friends and family, go shopping for cute new clothes, or treat yourself with a non-food treat that you've been wanting.
• Mini goals! Right now, if you haven't already, set a mini goal that is reachable and soon. Set a goal date of no more than 6 weeks from now--less is even better. Figure out how many pounds you think you can lose and then add a couple...just enough to make it a challenge. Then decide what amazingly decadent prize you'll receive for making it! I found those mini goals to make me feel much more resistant to cheating. My goals were achievable, but only if I stuck to the plan and didn't waver even once. Making them mattered more to me than that piece of cake or these brownies. You know?

Hope this helps. What's the most important thing to think about, though, is to remember that if you do cheat, it's NOT the end of the world. Just get back up and back on plan, okay? Success is not the absence of failure, but getting up one more time after you fall down. We all fall from time to time. It's beating ourselves up afterwards, though, that does the most long-term damage, I think. I know you'll make it through, Jenny! Here's some just in case, though.

Jenny I so feel you right now. I am having the Funks also. I think it's a combination of SAD and the fact that my birthday is Saturday. It has been dark, dreary, cold and rainy here all week and all I want to do is hibernate and eat bad things.

All I can say is this too shall pass. However, when I get into one of these moods I have to watch everything I put in my mouth. You are at a point that I was at about a year ago. I would go buy bad stuff, take it home, maybe have one bite maybe not and then throw it away. And that one bite, I would take, would taste so nasty to me that I was surprised every time. It took me a long time to figure out that I didn't really want bad food that something else was bothering me. It also took me a long time to get past that stage in my evolution of food, emotions and eating.

I have yet to find a good remedy for SAD. All I can tell you it that I make sure I exercise and try to spend as much time as I can in light. I know it’s artificial light but it still seems to help if I stay in well light, cheery places.

The other thing I do is I set down and see if I can figure why I am in the Funks. Beachgal had a good suggestion that I haven’t tried yet of talking to your “stuffed” friends. Think I’m going to try that tonight and see if they have anything to say.

If I can’t find anything specific emotionally that seems to be bothering me and I feel like it’s cold and nasty and I just want something warm, friendly and comforting (mac & cheese w/hot chocolate) then I make myself find a way to make it healthier and then just eat it (in moderation of course). That is probably not the best of solutions but it works for me. And I have discovered that in the long run after I have eaten it I don’t have the guilt that would have come with it if I had eaten the “real” thing instead of the healthier version. And sometimes in eating my healthier version of my comfort food I find out what was bothering me to begin with. I'm know probably sounds pretty weird but it works for me.

In the long run you have to do what works for you. Sometimes it is really hard to figure out what it is that works for you but when you do it is extremely enlightening.

Hang in there Jenny. We are all here for you whenever you need us!!!

all is I can say is thanks ladies! I think my problem is that I've been so addicted to food and so wrapped up in the routine of food when I'm low that now I don't know what to do with myself. My mother in law is a counsellor for people with addictions, and she said it's the same thing when you give up smoking or drinking. Like I don't know what to do with my hands now that I'm no longer shoving crap into my mouth!

I had a slip up yesterday. I don't feel guilty or disappointed, more like relieved. I ate things I shouldn't have ate but you know what I figured out? They didn't make me feel good the way they used to. It made me kinda happy in a weird way. It shows that if I really put my mind to it, I don't have to have that needy/clingy relationship with food anymore. I'm not living to eat, I'm eating to live. Yeah, I still have a wee ways to go, but I'm already so much better.

I told DH this morning, something I've always wanted to do was learn latin dancing. And I've always wanted to bike to work. (Although Scotland is rainy like ALL the freakin time!) So today, I'm going to make the hour long walk to the grocery store and stick to my weekly shopping list.

I reset my Thanksgiving goal cause I don't think I made it enough of a challenge to myself. I blogged on my myspace page and I'm going with your advice above.

So thanks again, chicks. I feel better and part of it is having such great support. It's good to know there are other women out there just like me going through the same stuff and that I'm not alone.

Congratulations on getting past a stumbling point...Isn't it great that you realize that food is losing it's grip on you as an addiction and that you are learning different methods for coping (that includes a slip up now and then).. this is definitely a journey we are all on, just have to keep on treking putting one foot in front of the other.

Big hugs to you, Jenny!!!

I have a very dear friend who always had trouble with weight...basically because she really liked to eat! She's from Scotland (as in she moved to the U.S. for a job after she and husband got their doctorates...) and so it made me think of her when you mentioned biking to work. That's exactly what my friend, Helen, did! She got into biking, without changing any of her eating habits, and she lost gobs of weight! She lost so much that when I saw her, a year after she'd moved to Connecticut, I literally didn't recognize her! She is lean, taut, and tanned now! In the winter, she swims (because she likes that), and the rest of the time she bikes...for miles and miles! Anyways, if you ever want me to put you in touch with her, I'm sure she'd be glad to give you a bit of Scottish support.

Sheba's Mom, you are one wise chickie!!! Love your ideas and your wonderful advice! I suffer from SAD too (as do most of the people in my group therapy). Living here in the high northeast, it's not easy to deal with in the winter...it's awful. A couple years ago I bought a cheap sunlamp at Sam's Club and started using it once a day for at least 30 minutes. I didn't have time to just sit under it and do nothing, so I put it next to the computer, where I often sit anyways. You wouldn't believe how much it helped!!!! One of the people in my therapy group is bipolar and has SAD. He tried the light and it actually made him so energetic that he had a manic episode! He had to stop using it because of that. Those sunlamps are powerful!!! I got mine for $20, but there are some that cost as much as $200 or more. You can get a prescription for one from a doctor and your insurance may cover it. Otherwise, look for a fairly cheap one and try it! The best thing is supposed to be 30 minutes of uninterrupted time under it in the morning. My boss used his at our work...it wasn't early morning, but it was still around 8:00 or so...he actually left it on all day. Just don't do it late at night or you won't sleep. It really works! I also installed those "daylight" type lightbulbs in every room. They even make them in the twirly florescent energy-saving kind!

I think you definitely did some major good things for yourself, Jenny, in thinking about this, making some changes, setting some new goals, and coming up with another good way to cope--remembering the things you wanted to do but couldn't (easily) at your current weight. That's a great motivator! You could give yourself a set of latin dancing lessons (and a sexy new dancing outfit!) as a reward for reaching your goal! Cha-cha!

Laurie are those Sun lights tanning or are they just really bright?
also jenny one thing I do is make sure my hands aren't idle! I'm writing or knitting or typing all the time! it helps!