Disappointed in myself - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community


South Beach Diet Fat Chicks on the Beach!

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Old 05-02-2007, 04:59 AM   #1  
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Unhappy Disappointed in myself

Hi All

I started SB for the first time in Mid-April. Went well for a few days until I cheated one night and completely fell off the wagon. Started again the next week just to cheat again. Started again last week, did ok for a few days and fell off again.

I just can't seem to stick to it and I know the only reason is lack of willpower. I felt great doing SB and lost easily, but the moment I cheat I just can't seem to accept it and start SB again from the next day. As a result I have picked up weighed and not lost like I am supposed to.

What can I do to keep myself on track?
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Old 05-02-2007, 06:45 AM   #2  
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Why start the next day? If you were learning to rollerskate, and fell, would you stay on the ground until morning? Every choice is a new choice.

Don't call it cheating, or even a mistake. Think of it as a less than ideal choice. You've already succeeded if your next choice is better than the last.

When I was in school and had to handwrite reports and essays, I never wrote a rough draft. If I made a spelling error or other mistake I started over - rewriting everything I'd written before moving on to the next thought. On a computer, I could make changes without having to start over, and I could write a lot faster. I think we have to remember dieting isn't all that different. If we correct as we go, instead of having to start over every time we make a mistake, we get things accomplished a whole lot faster.
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Old 05-02-2007, 08:15 AM   #3  
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Well said, Colleen!

Road2Health, I have to commend you for your persistance to keep on trying! At least you're not giving up! Giving up some of our favorite foods and changing our old ways is not easy. Check out some of the wonderful SouthBeach recipes in our forum and also in the cookbooks, they will help to give you the incentive to keep going and will provide you with tasty meals to relieve the boredom of a hum-drum meal. Join us in here every day, too, to share advice and everyday happenings. Good luck.
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Old 05-02-2007, 08:27 AM   #4  
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Is there a pattern of times when you fell off the wagon? Like following the plan during the day and "cheating" at night?(I hate that word!)
Are you "cheating" because you are bored, or are you really hungry when that happens? Are you cheating because everyone around you is eating something yummy you can't have?

Preplanning may help...really preplanning everything you are going to eat the following day. This is what I do. I go through all the recipes I can find (both from the books and online) then decide what we are going to eat the following day. With so many recipes out there, I make sure there is a lot of variety in what we eat so we don't get bored with it...I try to try something new every day. Then I open up a new text document and list what all the meals and snacks are going to be for the next day. And I make a list under that with all the ingredients I will need to make those meals and I print it out. Then on the way home from work, I stop at the store and get all the food.
Make cooking the food a celebration instead of a chore. Put on some music while you are chopping and cooking and sing! When you put the food on the plate, plate it up pretty. I try to make every meal look like it came out of a 5 star restaurant. (hey that's just me, I want it to look pretty too!)

If you have any junk food in the house, get rid of it..give it away, throw it away, whatever. Make sure when it's meal time that you really FILL UP. And make sure you have a dessert ready if you are a sweets junky like me (those fudgesicles/peanut butter/cool whip things saved me a few times!)

If you find you are cheating when you are around other people who are eating "bad" food, then you just have to put yourself in the mindset that they are just poisoning themselves and you are not going to follow the crowd. Put yourself in the mindset that you are "superior" to them because of your food choices and what they are eating is disgusting. YOU are going to be healthy and nothing that anyone else can say or do is going to make you eat that junk. (I know that sounds horrible, but you just have tell yourself you are better than anyone who eats junk...I swear it works) But don't deprive yourself and remember that this new way of life doesn't mean you have to sit at a restaurant and eat a piece of lettuce while everyone else feasts..get something healthy and really stuff yourself!

If you find that you cheat because you are bored, then do something special for yourself every night...get some new makeup and play with it, give yourself a facial, polish your nails, whiten your teeth, wax your legs, read a magazine/book, clean out your closet, organize your kitchen cabinets etc...and imagine how good you are going to look in that little black dress. Reward yourself with something at the end of the week...a pedicure, hair cut, bath bubbles, whatever..something just for you that you don't have to share with anyone else and is not food...something that will make you gorgeous. Another thing to do is to get on the internet and search for "before and after pictures+weight loss". If other people can do it, you can too!!

And if you do fall off the wagon a bit, don't beat yourself up, just set another goal, dangle a carrot of a "reward" for yourself and wake up the next day with the mindset that nothing and nobody will get in your way of being who you want to be.

One thing that is really finally keeping me on track is watching my Daddy die a year ago this month. Because of his weight (he was skinny till he hit about 40) he had to have his knees replaced twice and still could not walk the last 2 years of his life, he had diabetes, he had congestive heart failure, had to have several back surguries and bypass surgury, and he was in a hospital in New Orleans when Katrina hit. My sister was able to get my parents out of there by charging many thousands of dollars on her credit card to get a medivac flown in to N.O. and fly them to where she lives. (but not before they had to go through **** in the hospital in the 4 days following the storm with no air in 100 degree weather first. My Mother, being the smart cookie she is, loaded up on plenty of bottled water and canned food that she hid in their room, but it was too hot to eat)
Daddy died at my sister's house nine months later, never to see New Orleans again.
The last time I saw him (last Easter) I promised him that I would lose weight and not go down the same road he did. So, now is the time and I'm keeping that promise to my Daddy. It has taken almost a year of grieving and eating my way through the grief, then enough was enough. That is the biggest thing that keeps me motivated. I don't want my kids to go through all we have gone through. If I feel tempted, I see my Daddy watching me and that is a big motivation. I don't want ANY of us to go through what he did.
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Old 05-02-2007, 09:01 AM   #5  
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Hi Road2Health,

Colleen, Cottage and Femmecreole have provided you with excellent advice...advice that I'm finally getting my mind wrapped around. Please think of this as a lifelong journey....to better health and a more slender, fit body. A diet has a beginning and an end. Unfortunately, to lose the weight and keep it off forever, this journey can not end. Having an off-plan meal or treat does not mean your journey has ended. These are just detours and learning experiences. Eventually, you can schedule off-plan treats or meals and handle them with grace and wisdom. Please join us on this journey and we will be happy to provide you with daily support and encouragement.
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Old 05-02-2007, 10:13 AM   #6  
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When you fall you just have to get back up and get back on track the very next meal. I used to do the same thing... cheat... start the next day. Now if I mess up, I start the next meal. I am on day 10 of PH2. I screwed up this weekend by drinking beer. I love it and always have people stopping by visiting and we are very social. I continued with my meals as I should. I do have to say I felt like a big YUCK the next day. Just felt a sugar low. Pulled myself back up... had too many nuts yesterday, got back on track at dinner. But I look at the positives that I achieved too. Planning has helped me too. Try not to beat yourself up. Just plan your next meal and stick to it!
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Old 05-02-2007, 10:27 AM   #7  
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In my opinion maybe you're just not ready yet.. not fully mentally ready.
This is my 3rd or 4th attempt at SB.. the first time I fell off the wagon quickly, the 2nd time I was thrown off the wagon when at about day 12 I had to go in for Gall bladder surgery, had my gall bladder removed, and then 9 days later, went back in with appendicitis oh ok this is my 3rd attempt.. and I didn't start it until I was ready, and I knew I was ready because having anything BUT SB friendly stuff was very unappealing to me. That's not to say I don't have days I WANT something else, but my will power is fully intact. Any other time, I wasn't ready because I couldn't see giving up my sugar addiction or giving up my Saturday night taco bell run or chinese food run..

Sit back for a minute and see how you feel. Start imagining yourself thin and healthy and picture yourself doing something active. It's not about willpower it's about being ready for change. It will come.. it will

Don't beat yourself up over it.. it's not cheating, it's just a slip up, and you can get right back on at the next meal or snack..
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Old 05-02-2007, 11:34 AM   #8  
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Coming in here and posting every day, whether with a question or just general chat, is something that keeps me on track. The chickies above have great advice.
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Old 05-02-2007, 04:24 PM   #9  
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Believe it or not something Oprah said stuck with me. She said that if she cheated just one meal that didn't mean she had to blow it the rest of the day. Every meal was a new start so just get back on the wagon and take one meal at a time.
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Old 05-03-2007, 05:44 AM   #10  
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Thanks everyone for all the advice and for not making me feel like the biggest loser in this world.

I need to change my mental attitude towards my new way of eating and will take it step-by-step.
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Old 05-03-2007, 09:25 AM   #11  
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the change when it comes is phenomenal. I find that now i can have ONE meal that's not too beachy (but I still try to watch it) knowing that I can do this at any time. that the only person I answer to is myself and if i don't do it I am only harming myself.

while SBD is a great tool and really does work... it only works if you buy into it, live it and work it... sadly there is no Magic. sometimes as much as we want it we just have to say no.
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Old 05-03-2007, 09:48 AM   #12  
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I found that while eating the SB way I felt great - light, not as heavy as when I eat loads of unhealthy carbs. That great feeling should be motivation in itself to stick to the plan.
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Old 05-03-2007, 10:28 AM   #13  
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Road2Health, the Beachies have given you GREAT ideas! (thanks, chicks! ) I can't add much except to say this:

Once you get through P1, in IMHO, it's easy...so try to get through at least as much P1 as it takes to reduce cravings.

Get the things you cheat on out of reach...it's one thing to have willpower, it's another to make yourself face great temptation all day! Get the candy jar off your desk, ask your coworker to move her doughnuts off your desk and get all the junk out of your house. If kids or DH want stuff, they can buy and eat it out of the house. Period.

Then there's always Sandi's quote: "If you want this, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse." You may not be quite ready. If not, figure out why--do some meditating, some journaling, go for a long walk and talk with yourself. I know that I'm having trouble with the last bit both because I'm afraid of maintanence and because I'm afraid of what won't happen when I'm finally 'skinny.' You know?

You CAN do this...just figure out the roadblocks and kick 'em over!!!

Here's some motivation:
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Old 05-04-2007, 03:18 AM   #14  
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Thanks for the advice, Beachgal

My problem is that my MIL lives with us and although she should be watching what she eats too, she doesn't. She cooks daily and it is usually stuff I am not supposed to eat on SB. I wish I could take the temptation away, but that is unfortunately not possible

Last edited by Road2Health; 05-04-2007 at 04:19 AM.
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Old 05-04-2007, 06:03 AM   #15  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Road2Health View Post
Thanks for the advice, Beachgal

My problem is that my MIL lives with us and although she should be watching what she eats too, she doesn't. She cooks daily and it is usually stuff I am not supposed to eat on SB. I wish I could take the temptation away, but that is unfortunately not possible
there will always be temptations in your life. part of this lifestyle change is learning to say no.
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