Someone over on the South Beach Thread recommended this one to me - looks like a great place to be. My OE click: I am a stress eater - doesn't matter the stress, emotional, mental, work-related- though I most often spin off into a binge because of work-related stress. Self-image doesn't really play a part, though I would love to live in a body that was minus 100 lbs of ME!
I can generally manage my eating day to day (referring to binging- well, anything except the C-word! I'm a definite c-aholic) unless I have a horrible day - then I have absolutely no control. It's like I'm a completely different person - Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hide. Mr Hide erupts without warning at the end of a difficult day.
I'm in Animal Control, which may make many of you think - "Where's the stress? You get to play with fuzzy puppies and cute kittens!" Yes, that's true, but only about 2% of the time. The rest of the time I am either chasing or BEING chased by vicious Rottweilers or Pit Bulls (or worse, the dreaded yapping Chihuahua- HATE those little nippers!), or am assisting our Police and Fire with any animal-related problem they are working.
I am often the ONLY one without a bullet-proof vest on a raid, or without an oxygen tank as I follow the Firemen into a burning building (yup! HELLO!! Animal control needs Oxygen, too!); I get threats to my life frequently from gang-related thugs; I chase cows on the freeway, which is a danger all it's own (Puh-leese! If you see a rather large Animal Control Officer by a truck with twirling yellow lights on the freeway - DO NOT TRY TO RUN HER OVER!); I serve search & seizure warrants where I never know what is on the other side of the door I'm about to enter - all of this is just a quick peek into some stress-ors in my life that can trigger the binge buffet.
Not that Animal Control is all bad, I do get the pleasure of getting a little lady's cat out of the tree (though a 295 lb body up 20 feet in a tree -mine, not the cat's! - is a sight to see!), or getting little Fee-Fee the poodle out from down in the storm drain that she fell into, little things like that are the fun part of my job. But you can see how at the end of a bad day I EAT!!!! It doesn't make me feel good, but it makes me feel numb, and that is what I'm looking for. It is the alcohol effect without the hangover. And I'm a rather cheap "drunk" as I can get dizzy on a potato - being that I am diabetic.
So, I'm looking for love! - of myself, enough to control the stress and see that it is damaging my body, and to see that a future me might be worse off than she is now - if that's possible. I am a motivational-related gal. If I don't have someone to motivate me - i.e., to walk the same trail I am, and struggle along with me, I withdraw into a tiny ball and eat, eat, eat when 'ole Mr. Hide emerges. I'm looking forward to this thread, as I see a lot of other people in my same position - when I'm not 20 feet up a tree, that is!
So, nice to meet you all! As you can tell, I am a rambler, but I won't feel slighted if you just skim my posts, I'll still fell like I've got an outlet! I said all of the above when I really meant to just say that I've started the week off strong. Got up at the ungodly hr of 5:30 am and actually made it to Curves to work out!
Go Julie, Go Julie!
And while I ate a wee bit more for supper than I had intended, it was NOT a binge! Course, I didn't have a particularly bad day, either. That with be the test!
Da fat N da furious - Barenaked Ladies with Sarah Mclatchland's "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" is one of my favorite Christmas songs! Hmmm... can you send a file here? I guess not, must have to IM. If you haven't heard it pull up Rhapsody and have a listen, I love it! It's not too long until Christmas, you know!
Binge-free week, September 11th start
ceejay52!!! I'm happy you found us!!!
I put that one on because it's my boyfriend's (ahem - friend's) favorite. I sent you a message on myspace 
