Sorry for the long story, but I feel like I need to purge some bad feelings here before I completely self-destruct...
For those of you who remember me from a few months ago, hi there! For those of you who are just meeting me, hello. I started coming to these forums in February, and between February and May, I lost about 40 pounds. When summer came around, I got off my schedule (just as I feared I would do) and I began gaining back weight. I have now gained back about 15 pounds (maybe 20, cause I'm scared to look at the scale).
School just began again yesterday, and today I bumped into a friend of mine who started trying to lose at the same time that I did. I was outpacing her until May, but she kept up with her plan over the summer, and she looks great! I'm happy for her, but it stung pretty badly to see how I might have looked if I'd been a bit more self-disciplined. I feel so embarrassed. I feel like I've failed and she recognized my failure... I am so embarrassed.
So, now is the time, I suppose, to pick myself up and get started again. I am very afraid to start, though... I feel so ashamed of myself for failing this way.
Welcome back Aerotigergirl.
You and I started right around the same time and I do remember you.
Let me just say, please don't be ashamed.
I am in the same boat as you. From February until June I did really well and was able to lose 30lbs. The last 2 months have been really tough for me. In fact I was just getting ready to post a HELP ME post. For whatever I have lost my motivation and have been losing and gaining the same 4 lbs for the past 2 months now.
I remember that I really enjoyed your posts and you were always willing to give support when needed.
So what I'm really saying is good for you for coming back and sharing your story. Sometimes it feels good to share your successes as well as your failures.
You can do this and don't think about where you could've been but where you're headed instead.
Let's do this together. I really could use a swift kick to get restarted on this weight loss journey again.
What do you say?
Don't ever give up.
Try to look on the bright side - you are half way to your goal! Don't give up now after all your hard work. You obviously know what it takes to lose weight.
Look at this as a learning experience. All of us with a weight problem will have ups and downs for the rest of our lives. It takes a lifetime commitment - think of this as just a bump in the road. I spent 20 years being fat and unhappy because I gave up completely. I will never give up again and I'll never allow myself to gain more than 2 lbs. without taking a long hard look at what I'm doing wrong. It's taken me nearly 3 years to lose 37 lbs. but every time I mess up I jump back on the wagon. If I can do it - you can do it too!
First of all, you're so not a failure! You can't fail unless you've given up, and obviously you havn't.
Secondly, I can totally empathise with you. I've been trying to start losing weight since January and I've lost a total of... well... not alot of pounds, lol. Less than your 25 that's for sure!
Think of it, you've lost 25 lbs! Do you know how awesome that is? Go find a small dog, and pick it up. You lost all of that weight! That's completely amazing!
All you have to do now is start again. It'll be so much easier than it was starting the first time, because you already know what it takes to lose the weight! You just have to get back into the groove and do it.
Worst case scenario, you lost twenty pounds!!! That's still great, and a lot more than a lot of us have lost this year!!! Not looking at anyone (holds up mirror )
I know how disappointing it is to take a gain. I can only imagine how much strength its taken to come back.
But my friend, please don't say your worthless. Your not. All you have done is gain weight. That does not make you a bad person, or a failure. You had a summer, a break from what had been a really tough year.
No excuses, get back to it, I can see on your signature you have your plan, and you have us!
You have been very much missed, and we're glad to have you back. I look forward to your words of wisdom, and your valuable input. I've missed you!!!!
I started around the same time too! Welcome back and I was want to say HOLLY CRAP 40 POUNDS IN 3 MONTHS? I have yet to lose 40 and it's been 6 months! YOU GO GIRL!
Don't worry about the gain, in the end it will only make you stronger. Get back at it (I had a bit of a slip too, opps) anyway, we are human and things will always throw us off. Just keep trucking alone Nice to see you back!
Hard as it is, think of this as a learning experience. As said above, this is for life, so, might as well take the long view.
To that end, what happened that derailed you? And, more importantly, what can you do to make sure that doesn't happen again?
Finally, since this is for life, are you on a plan you can DO for life? (and then cycle back and see paragraph above). If not, what changes can you make so this IS a plan for life? I don't remember the details of your plan, but is/was it "extreme"?
Good luck, and don't beat yourself up if you can help it. Honestly, these things happen! I think it's important to learn what you can and move on!
Think of it as you are coming back before you are a 100 pounds more over weight than you started and now it is time to complete your original goal. Thank God you came back now!! Good job!!
Aw, I think a lot of us know how you feel. Maybe it was a hidden blessing then that you saw your friend? Maybe look at it this way, if you hadn't seen her, then you may have waited longer to start again. Try to take the negative and turn it positive. After all, you still have half or more of what you lost gone. A lot would have gained it ALL back and more ( like I did!).
Believe me, NONE of us judge you for this, NOR think you are a failure. It takes a lot of guts to try again!!
The best part is, you knew how you lost it the last time, so just jump right back in there. Pick a day as soon as you get your food in order and away you go. Before you know it, those extra pounds will be gone and you'll feel great about that!
I remember you, . Don't feel like a failure. As I said to a fellow 3FC chicky yesterday -- failure is when you DON'T get back up. And look here, you are back! That's a big step.. you are changing your lifestyle and that's not going to be the easiest thing ever. When you started here I was relosing 5 pounds I had just lost. So, I know where you've been. I'm stalling right now at 186.5 going up and down a little. You'll make your goal.. just stick around, be inspired, and most importantly have FUN!
I hope to see you around a lot more.
Last edited by pixiefalls; 08-30-2006 at 05:01 PM.
I sooo understand how you feel. I fell off the wagon big time July and August **sigh** We are not failures, we just had TEMPORARY setbacks. The important thing is learning from our setbacks.
A setback is merely a setup for a comeback.
I'm one of the ones just "meeting" you, so "Hello!"
You are not a failure. You are, however, making things unnecessarily painful for yourself by comparing yourself to someone else. Weight loss isn't (or at least shouldn't be, IMHO) a contest. Comparing ourselves to others, whether it be in terms of weight loss, salary, looks, material possessions, etc. can create the kind of dissatisfaction that sends us (or me, at least ) to the nearest bag of M&Ms! And yes, I know it's human nature to make these comparisons but try, try to resist.
It's much easier to lose weight when you're happy than when you're miserable.
Welcome back! Well, although I've been around the boards all summer, I too have gotten off plan and gained back 15 of the pounds I worked so hard to lose. I know exactly how you feel, because I'm feeling the same things. BUT, I agree with every previous reply you've gotten. We are not failures, and we CAN get back into being healthier.
Since we both kinda did the same weight gain we can truly be of help to each other as we encourage and applaud our progress in getting back into this. I hope we both find the inspiration and determination that we need to achieve our goals. If you need a daily exchange buddy PM me. I remember how uplifting you can be and hope I could provide that back.