Success and Failure

I have come to the realization that I am a black and white person (fellow Matchbox Twenty fans can appreciate that!!) My world has no grey. I have always itemized my life into columns and there is never any cross over. Things are either right or wrong, good or evil, successes or failures. I have always been open-minded to the world but I could always classify everything somehow. Suddenly, I find myself standing on one side of the Grand Canyon looking at the other side. When I look down all I see is an endless precipice that seems to extend into the very core of the earth. This is how I have been viewing my weight loss. I stand on my side, 242 pounds of unhappiness. On the other side, stands a 155 pound beauty.

Recently, I felt as though I tumbled down to the very bottom of that Canyon. I had failed myself. After 7 weeks and 14 pounds of success, I tripped off my edge and my fat butt rolled right down to the bottom. There I lay for 6 days wallowing in self-pity and greasy foods; looking up at the skinny side of the ravine and believing that I would never reach that glorious cliff. I was alone in the darkness.

On that 7th morning, I saw the faintest movement high above me on that dreadful side of the Grand Canyon. As more days passed, I started to see more and more activity there. There were people up there!! I could see them!! And they were trying to rescue me!!! It was then that I realized that I hadn't failed; I had just slipped. And there were people waiting for me to regain my footing!

Somehow, I have managed to climb out of my despair and I am now back up on my side. Still 242 pounds, but that other side appears a bit closer now. I look down to see that there has been the smallest few planks of board extended from beneath my feet toward my goal. They had been placed there to encourage me and to help me cross that Canyon. They had been put there by those people who care about me...My family, my friends, and those few whom I have never met personally, but have sent me more inspiration than I ever imagined might be transferred through a computer screen!

Now, I know that weight loss is a different type of battle that requires a different type of stategy. It is not just a success or failure. There can actually be success IN failure!! Without this stumble, I wouldn't have realized something about myself. More importantly, I never would have noticed those people up on that cliff, hammers in hand, waiting to add more boards to that bridge. Thanks to you all!!!

Hi there,

Hey I enjoyed the way you wrote that. Interesting!

Maybe you feel the mountain is so high and hard to achieve. It means so many things, doesn't it? Once you get there (if you get there, your inner voice says, always there to knock you back a peg), what then?

This much is certain. If you give up, you'll have to start again. You'll feel bad. Slip ups are what life is about. Try try try. You have seen success so far, so knowing it is POSSIBLE is the best part. Keep reminding yourself that the fact that it is POSSIBLE makes the rest just a decision. Thank goodness the ability is there at all, right? Now that you have proven to yourself that you CAN do it, then it's just a matter of doing (not as easily done as said, of course).

I try to break things up into fragments when I find them large. Do what you know first. What do you KNOW works, work with that first. Break up your chunks of weight loss into blocks, I bet that will help.

For sure, seeing everyone else here with their own struggles, some of them we can all relate to, helps!!! We are all here together for the same goal.
I am glad that you are here and everyone here is helping you get through these bad times that we'll all experience.

I agree with Abbeycat here. Break your journey up into smaller pieces and it will go more smootly. Personally I use 10 pound increments a month as a guage. Sometimes I don't quite make it, but other times I do.

Thanks for the post. It really describes what this site has meant to me. An internet full of friends to help me on this journey. I am glad you can see the other side again.

TamiL

WOW I see you're almost at your goal!! AWESOME WOW!!

You must be totally thrilled, huh!!!! Yay for you!

~ Angie

This is SO true! I have taken to turning my "failures" into learning experiences. At least that way I take something from the experience other than just unwanted calories!

tired, i am a fellow arkansas girl from just up I-40. your post touched me and i just wanted to say hi. trob

This place is great! So many of us would be doing the wrong things and getting nowhere without this site! Glad that you're working at it again! Now you have somewhere to go if you start feeling like giving up again!

Kim