Okay, I know this may sound crazy that I am asking this, but I have a problem. I have people say to me "wow, youve alot of weight" or "you look great!" and I never know how to respond to that. The other day someone commented and said "you lost alot of weight, eh?" and i felt like such a fool, i didnt know what to say i said "yeah" and smiled. haha. Does anyone else feel they are stuck for words when people give them nice compliments?
"Yes, I've been trying hard. It's great for you to notice."
"Thanks, I feel really good."
"Nope, my clothes grew."
"Good old fashioned calorie counting and exercise ... who knew?"
"Almost 50 pounds ... how awesome is that?"
"But you'll still be my friend when I'm gorgeous, won't you?"
Susan, those are great, you crack me up! I think I'll try "my clothes grew" next time! (cause when I look at my old clothes, that's what it seems like!)
almost there -- I know what you mean. I have started just saying "Thanks!" It's getting easier over time.
I say thank you and answer any other questions that are asked. I don't volunteer information, I don't talk about my weight loss with people I meet up with unless they say something first. I wait until they notice. Meaning, I don't prance around and say, "I've lost a lot of weight, can you tell?"
If they notice and comment, I say thank you. If they don't notice (which I'm sure they do, but people don't always say anything, probably in fear they'll say the WRONG thing) then we have a nice little normal chat and I go on my way.
I just respond with "Yes, I did. Thanks!" If they press for details, I'll tell them how much and that I did it through restricting my calories and working out every day. Depending on how close I am to them and how I'm feeling, I might also let them know that I eat only 1300 calories per day and hired a personal trainer.
Sometimes people will tell me I look different but that they aren't sure why. This particularly happens with people I see in a business setting. They don't see me very often, they've always seem me wearing business suits which hide a lot of figure flaws, and we aren't that close so they haven't necessarily paid a lot of attention to my weight. Also, I've only lost 25 pounds. When I was first starting to lose, I was uncomfortable with sharing such personal details with people I had a professional relationship with, so I would just shrug and say I didn't know what was different. But now that I've gotten more comfortable with my weight loss and, in fact, am very excited and proud about it, I've started telling these people that I've lost weight.
But, if someone doesn't comment on my appearance, I don't mention it.
I'm of the smile sweetly and say thanks for noticing crew. I love it when people notice!!! I've worked dang hard to get this far, and to have that appreciated makes me feel proud. And all the hard work worth it.
I am so critical of myself it is hard for me to take a compliment. I critique it way to much, I am learning to smile and say thank you and offer what I am doing that has changed my life if the door is open to do so.. but most usually "self" is saying I am the same person, maybe in a smaller package, but I am the same...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just smile and say yes, I have been working at it. Then, if they ask how much or how I lost it, I'll tell them. It's nice to get compliments but it also makes you think they probably thought I was really fat to start with. Can't blame them , I was.
I think a smile and a thank you is the simplest and most gracious response. If any other questions are asked (how did you do it, etc.) I just answer as honestly as I can. I only go into as much detail as the person asks for. If they ask how I lost weight I tell them counting calories and exercise and that is it. If they has how many calories, I tell them...what kind of exercise, I tell them...how long did it take, I tell them. But I never volunteer any information than they ask for.
A disclaimer I've only ever used a couple of those.
A lot depends on who the people are too.
I'm having a nagging notion about 'responsibility' with this particular thread. Ya know how when someone comes to 3fc and says things like 'atkins failed for me', 'going to the gym didn't work' or 'calorie counting was a flop' ... and we gently try to encourage the poster to realise that all of those things work. What didn't work was the poster.
If we believe that there is something magical about the gift of slimness that we've recieved are we more apt to be embarassed by compliments? Are we better able to take them in stride when we realise that our new slimness is an accomplishment ... a feat ... and that 'yes' we did it ourselves!
a "thank you" will do just fine. It was always the follow up questions that caught me off guard, though. Or when they wouldn't let it go, like saying "you've lost a lot of weight! Like, A LOT! No really, you got so skinny! I didn't realize how big you were! Honey, come over here and look at this"
Most of the time "thank you" and a smile was enough, though.
how do you respond?
