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Originally Posted by trishn222
Let me tell you a little bit about me. I was always an active, outdoorsy type of person. This helped me stay trim when I was younger. I did a pretty good job until I got into a marriage that was really bad for me. He was abusive mentally and physically. I lost so much of myself and me self esteem in the marriage that I ballooned from 135 lbs. to 227 lbs. in just 3 short years. When I finally had sunk so low that I could not take it anymore I finally got out. In less than 6 months after the marriage ended I had lost 60 lbs and was in great shape. I swam 3 miles a day 5 days a week and I kickboxed for and hour 3 times a week. Then I married the love of my life. I got pregnant for the first time shortly after that. I had a high risk pregnancy, so I had to stop a lot of my fitness goals. I had a hard pregnancy and post birth, so somehow through that I lost sight of all of the goals that I had worked so hard to set up. After a couple of years we decided that we wanted another child. I had to start loosing weight again so that I could get pregnant again. So for the want of a child I lost abt 40 lbs. I was back up to my pre weight loss of 227 lbs. I then got pregnant and again had a high risk pregnancy. Since I had my second child I have pretty much stopped doing anything. My husband loves me for who I am and not what I look like. He is a wonderful person who would never say anything about where I need to be as far as how I look or how much I weigh. I find that I look in the mirror and am depressed because I think about where, the beautiful woman that I was went. At one time I was asked to model. Where am I? I am now at my all time high of 272 lbs. I see myself dying before I can watch my two beautiful children grow up, or never seeing myself in their photographs because I can't stand to have proof of how far I have fallen from where I was. Please help me, I need support.
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i too was in that nasty marriage thing. He was a gorgeous tall dark and handsome with an accent...ok, he was egyptian...and i fell hard only to find out sson after the wedding what a jerk he was. i endured 8 years of that and ate my way thru the pain. i actually just ended it last month. i packed up my kid and flew to my dads in florida. well, i want to lose this weight. i had a big ouch lately when i met a guy online and we did the camera thing. he loved my face but when i stood up, thats the last of him. the prejudice towards heavies is awful...i just want to lose this weight, hop into a slinky red dress and wag my butt at him one day. hahaha!
i hear its easier to diet with a bud so if you want to, we can do it. i weigh 270 now...i havent started the diet i was gonna do last week and i hate it. its so hard i dont think i could lose it. at least we arent ugly right?
inside i am a sexy tall chick that all the girls would hate but this fat is my prison. its keeping me from doing so much. i wont settle for any man either...anyway who needs em'. we can help each other...thats what this site is for.
tami