[losinginillinois]

This has to be the story of my life. I came to this site in 2003 lost almost 75 lbs that year and here I am in 2005 back up almost 32 lbs. I know how to lose weight but I can never keep it off! I do it for so long and then I get tired of it! It's almost like I get mad and say screw it. I will eat what I want, when I want ect... I am happier when I am thin so why not stay that way. I am not an emotional eater I just like to eat period. I try to stick to an easy plan not to hard so I can keep it up. I simply ate when I was hungry and never had seconds. Ate everything in moderation so I did not feel deprived of anything. I should be happy like that but I am not. I sabbotage myself everytime. My dh is very supportive says "he doesn't care" blah blah blah but you know they have to some. He has great will power with food I might add. He is about 15lbs over weight but he knows how to say no. I feel like I am dismal failure in front of my dk's. Even though my 4 year old said the other day that my butt was really small after I made a fat butt joke about myself. She just thought it was funny that even said fat butt. The only thing I know I did wrong is burn myself out on exercising. I would sometimes exercise twice a day. Well that got old after awhile. It was motivating at first when the weight really came off. I lost almost all the weight before I ever had a gain. Anyway I just thought maybe coming back to this site might help! I hope there are others here who have been there done this. I have not gained it all back yet so I still have hope!