I really need a little help on helping my self when it comes to knowing whether I have an eating disorder or not? I seriously think I may be bulimic. But, would a bulimic know they're bulimic? And if they did, would they be admitting it? Here's my sceanario(sp?)... I work extremely hard to restrict my calories, and eat only healthy foods and work out. However, when I fail to meet these "standards" of mine by eating bad, I immeadiately vomit, most of it. I don't stick my finger down my throat, but I know it is self-induced rather than my stomach disagreeing b/c I don't feel sick?(meaning it would be mental.) Am I just being a hypochondriac(sp?) or is could there really be a problem here. Another thing is, I don't feel comfortable with my body at all, I feel so fat, and have alot of doubts. I often feel like people liked me more when I was skinnier( a very anorexic, unhealthy skinny). PLEASE HELP!
I just wanted to make a note that before I wrote this, I hadn't read the "What is Bulimia Nervosa?" sticky. After reading it, I realized, I fall under many of the critieria of symptoms and signs of the disorder. But, could it just be that it's all in my head.
Jessie,
If you have to question yourself repeatedly, you do. The simple fact that you vomit is a sign of an eating disorder.
It seems as though you're in binge/purge mode. No matter your weight, you aren't happy with your body. But how many people honestly tell you you look great? I'll bet tons of them. Every time you say you're on a dite, or that you're fat, etc. is'n't there someone that says something to the effect of " What? why are you on a diet? you look great, etc!!" Stop trying to conform your body to a size 2/ nicole kidman image. It's not going to happen. And it's not healthy. And stop wasting your time feeling guilty about eating. This is a horrible and extreme cycle. Besides, vomitting rots your teeth, burns up your esophogus, gives you bad breath and doesn't help you control your weight. If you are still in college, go to the campus clinic. If you have insurance go to a specialist. If you have neither look it up on line there are TONS of websites and people that will help you.
By the way, I just turned 30. I'm 5'4 and weigh 134. I WASN'T HAPPY WITH MY WEIGHT WHEN i WAS 115. It's a symtom of body dysmorphia. However, I am strong, I can walk and run, I do yoga, pilates, and my husband tells me how hot I am. But I understand what it's like not to feel good about yourself regardless of what others say. You gotta break the cycle girl!!!
Thanks so much for the words. I really want to get help. I'm actually a senior in highschool. My problem is my mom, I brought it up to her like YESTErDAY really casually, because in her head, "I want something to be wrong with me." So, I was shot down there, and don't know where else to turn b/c I really don't want to or know how to tell anyone else. It's so frutrating... I think I might call one of those hotlines. Thanks for the honest wake-up, I know that I need to fix it, but just can't seem to when the second I try to get help, my mom tells me there's nothing wrong.
Thanks foxy-red. The one thing I would add is it is in all our heads and hearts. Work begins there and with slow acceptance of where we are today. God bless you both on your journey to recovery.
Jessie
Go to the school counselor if you are feeling un-heard at home. There is a national organization called ANRED (Anorexia Nervosa and Related Diseases) that has free meetings in many towns here in the US.
I started being Bulimic when I was around 19. I didn't get counselling with a shrink til I was in my late 30's. I had so many years of negative self-esteem, and so much money wasted on food that I purged out with laxatives. I'm 52 now and can say that I finally got it under control sometime in my late 40's.
For me I had my value as a person tied up with what weight I was. I had bulimia back in the early 70's before it was even recognized and named. Then when I read the first articles about it in the early 80's I was all upset cuz I got the ugly named disease, to me anorexia sounded better than bull(cow)emia.
There is so much info available today, and many support groups available. Some folks find lots of support in "Overeaters Anonymous" too. Many of their meetings are held in churches, but not all. Their meetings are free of charge. There is lots of support available, where you will not be made to feel "less than" .
oh wow, if you don't even stick your finger down your throat and do it atomatically, then you need to see a doctor or something. that is bad! oh and hey while i am here i wanted to know if any one knew how i could create my own post. that would be ever so great
signed,
chubby_smuckles
My aunt, god bless her, is a Doctor. So, I had a LONGGGGGG talk with her yesterday, b/c I'm really worried that this could escalate to something even worse than it is now. I've been reluctant on telling anybody, becasue there are some, actaully alot of parts of me that don't want to get better, b/c then it means I won't be happy with myself, because I didn't reach the outrageous goals I've set for myslef weight wise, and planning to accomplish them via, an unhelthy ED; even though I know the way I'm feeling, and living are bad. After talking for a bit, and reading in a book she brought, she told me, yes, I do have an eating disorder, and it's a combination of both anorexia and bulimia. I just felt so much better being able to talk to her. She said she would talk to my mom, and tell her that I really need help, b/c I indeed do have an eating disored, and it's obvious. I think that it coming from her, someone who we turn to alot for medical advice, and her eing such a great friend, will make my mom realize that I'm not just being a drama queen. I think that either my mom doesn't want to realize that there's anything wrong with me, b/c I'm her only daughter, and/or she just doesn't realize it b/c I'm constantly hiding, it, and hiding it well. So, I guess instead of having to do an intervention on the sick one(me), we'll just have to do it on my mom! But, thanks for all the help and words everyone!
I've noticed lately that my urge to vomit is more persistent than it has been. I've been eating REALLY healthy, and good, yet, I still sometimes want to vomit. So, it's getting worse, but I WILL overcome it, I just can't do it alone.
Ahh, Jessie - I'm so glad your aunt can help. It's hard to communicate things like this to our parents, and it's so hard for them to admit that something is wrong. Your mom doesn't want to see that your hurting. And I'm sure the increased urge to vomit is from the increase in stress of having her find out. And I could tell you had an ED just by looking at all of your weights listed out - your preoccupation with weight is apparent. Hide your scale!
I'm a young mom with a daughter. I remember my own episode with anorexia in college. My mom congratulated me on losing weight, not realizing that I was in trouble, and I was afraid to tell her. My mom and I went through a world of crap for a few years there, but then we became closer than ever and really began to understand one another. And now I understand the depth of love a mom feels for her children - it's still new and awesome to me.
I don't know what I'm saying I guess - just wishing I could give you a hug and help in some way. I hope you stick around.
I feel so much better now that I've admitted to having a problem. I have good days and bad days, and my recovery so far has only been the first step of teeling someone. So, meanwhile, I'm jsut working really hard to eat healthy and resist the urge to purge, b/c last week my throat was sore for days, and I don't want that. So, I think it's also a good idea for me to hide the scale,because it seems that is a determinant of my mood. Thanks for all the support, I'm just taking it one day at a time, I haven't purged since Friday, which makes me feel a lot more confident about beating this. But I know I'm suseptible to start the horrid cycle all over again, and things can go from being in control one minute to completing losing it the next. Thats my current struggle, is telling myself how it's not good.
A little help?
Jessie, get help
