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Old 05-12-2004, 10:52 PM   #1  
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Question Feeling Hopeless

Hi everyone.

My name is Becky and I'm 19 and live in New York. I weigh 225 pounds and have been overweight my entire life. I keep gaining and now my health is greatly deteriorating. I feel so alone in this fight. I always feel like a failure. I have been trying to eat better and exercise but it's so hard when there's no one that really understands. I just wanted to introduce myself and I hope I can get to know some of you soon.

Thanks,
Becky
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Old 05-12-2004, 11:30 PM   #2  
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Becky~

I am 20 and I live in Ohio. I just started posting here yesterday and I couldn't believe how supportive and caring the people are in here. I guess it's because we are all struggling in one way or another. I weigh 295 pounds and I can honestly say that I know how you feel. I think it is especially hard to be overweight as a child, teenager and young adult. I feel like there is so much more pressure for us to be skinny and look like supermodels since we are young. I have been overweight my entire life as well. Not for even ONE day, not even when I was a kid, have I been skinny. I don't even know what it feels like to be skinny. But I am determined to lose this weight. I started today in fact. I have a baby and I put him in the stroller and went around the block. I was amazed at how good I felt when I got back. I plan on doing this every day, weather permitting. And I am starting to drink only water, and caffeine free coffee and tea. I am just making very small goals. I will try to faze out sugar, but I know it is going to be hard! But I am just going to think about how much "sweeter" it will be to be skinny! I am also going to give myself a non-edible reward for every 10 pounds I lose. Such as getting my hair or nails done, going on a mini shopping spree..etc. I think I will be able to keep myself motivated if I get a reward for all my hard work.

Well, that's a little bit about me. Feel free to send me a message if you want too. It's great to have a buddy you can talk to!

Leigh
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Old 05-13-2004, 12:19 AM   #3  
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You go girls! ((Becky & Leigh))You can do it!!! We are all here for you and will help if we can. Don't give up! Set small, attainable goals, reward yourself , but don't be too hard on yourself or give up when things get tough! YOU CAN DO THIS!! Empower your self with positive thinking and attitude!The moral support and information here is truly inspiring!
God Bless!!!!
Yak
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Old 05-13-2004, 03:50 AM   #4  
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Becky - you're not alone in this fight at all. All of us who come to these boards are on a weight-loss journey and have felt hopeless and despondent at times too. But everybody here is so supportive and you feel a real sense that people care about you and are interested in your daily struggles, whether its a good day or a bad day. Just remember that it is a long journey and it will take time but baby steps are the way to go. This is a new life you're beginning!

Leigh - Well done on the walking and making changes to your diet already! Even little changes show results. Keep up the good work, you're doing great.

Best of luck, both of you!
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Old 05-13-2004, 11:34 AM   #5  
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Hey there --

I'm 42, and I was overweight all my life, too. At age 39 I weighed well over 300 pounds and was miserable, and started to get worried about mobility & mortality issues. Since then I've lost 140 pounds, and want to lose at least 20 more. I spent my whole life trying diets, losing a little, then regaining it and more. In my early 30s I finally just gave up, and kept piling on the pounds.

So.

I want to tell you that if you get a handle on this now, you will not BELIEVE the difference it will make in your life. While I'm very happy with my success now, I deeply regret living my 20s and 30s so drastically overweight. My life would have been completely different if I had tackled the problem at your age.

The others are right, positive thinking is the key. I know what it's like to feel alone, and places like this board can really help you feel part of a group that understands your struggles and is fighting the fight right along with you. So, good for you for searching out this place and reaching out -- that is an incredibly positive first step. But, you know what? In the end, it is you and only you who can do this. That's not to say it's easy, but you have to figure out why you overeat and underexercise, and develop a will-conquer attitude.

There is so much to say about how to turn your thinking around, get started, and stay on track. But, I offer two main suggestions:

First, read. There are some great books out there on how to successfully deal with this problem. These books really helped me get started, and continue on the journey:

Thin for Life - Anne Fletcher
The Thin Books - Jean Eddy Weston
Getting Better All the Time - Kathy Smith
The new Dr. Phil book
Fattitudes - (don't remember the author)

Finally, know that very few people do this "perfectly." You may start with great enthusiasm, and something will happen to cause that enthusiasm, that "motivation" to wane. That's when you have to dig in your heels and just keep going. You can't depend on "motivation" but what you can do is see this as a permanent change to the way you live your life. It CAN be done, no situation is impossible, and I'm living proof of that.
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Old 05-13-2004, 01:35 PM   #6  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by funniegrrl
Hey there --

I'm 42, and I was overweight all my life, too. At age 39 I weighed well over 300 pounds and was miserable, and started to get worried about mobility & mortality issues. Since then I've lost 140 pounds, and want to lose at least 20 more. I spent my whole life trying diets, losing a little, then regaining it and more. In my early 30s I finally just gave up, and kept piling on the pounds.

So.
Your testimony is awesome. CONGRADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on your weight loss. How did you do it? I want to lose 100 pounds. I need all the encouragement I can get too.

Last edited by dirojon; 05-13-2004 at 02:28 PM.
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Old 05-13-2004, 02:58 PM   #7  
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Becky,
welcome to the boards! I am new too and I have found everyone to be very supportive and encouraging no matter what! Just remember you are not alone... I mean that!!

Try to look on the bright side of things... I am 27 and have reached my all-time high of 267 and I would kill to be 225 right now!! Just remember, wherever you are starting, there is someone out there who has made your weight right now their goal or mini-goal!!

The other ladies were right when they said take baby steps....that is the best way to do it...it's hard for me to think of it that way too, because like most people in this society, we want FAAASSST results and big results at that....it's just not going to happen that way. I have lost weight in the past, but put it back on because I considered it a "diet" instead of a life change approach to changing my lifestyle for the rest of my life...

The approach I am taking now is counting calories, trying to stay at about 1200-1300 a day and trying to incorporate some excersise into my life. I am taking the apporach of a drug addict, one day at a time, setting small goals. For instance, I am not saying to myself right now, " I want to be 140lbs"...instead, I am setting a mini goal of 250, then 240, then 230 and so on until my goal will be to get below 200....

You can do this!! Remember, support is one of the BEST ways to ensure that you will lose the weight and keep it off...sometimes I find myself coming here several times a day for motivation, support and for a distraction from eating...

Don't give up!! I know exactly how you feel... the last time I was considered "thin" I was about 4 years old...I am determined to lose this weight and keep it off by the time I am 30 (I will be 27 in a couple weeks)...you have an advantage over me, you are only 19, you can make your goal to be fit and healthy by the time you are 21...which is very attainable!! Keep at it, you've already made the first step!!

Good luck!!

Tara

SW=267--5/11/04
CW=267--5/13/04
GW=140

mini goal=250
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Old 05-13-2004, 04:03 PM   #8  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dirojon
How did you do it? I want to lose 100 pounds. I need all the encouragement I can get too.
Thanks ...

To fully answer "How did you do it?" would take an entire book. To sum it up, I made some key decisions, and dedicated my ENTIRE life to accomplishing this. I am much more on autopilot now than I was the first year or so, but I had to face some fundamental truths about myself and my relationship with food and activity and make a committment to deep change.

This is not about going on a diet and losing weight. When you are as overweight as I have been, when you have more than 20 or 30 pounds to lose, you have a life that is simply out of balance. Basically, I am no different than an alcoholic or a smoker or a junkie; my drug of choice is just food. I am a complusive overeater, and this is not something that can be cured but it CAN be managed. You have to fix what's out of balance, make up your mind that what needs to be done is not always what we want to do, and that the only successful approach is the lifetime approach.

Reading the books I mentioned above helped. Spending a lot of time with myself observing my emotions, reactions, and behaviors helped. Building strategies and planning helped. Learning that every problem has a solution, even if it took creativity and energy to get there helped.

I really encourage you to go to the Maintainer's board and read Meg's Second Anniversary post, and the link to her First Anniversary post. There is more truth and wisdom there than I can articulate.

Yes, it's hard work, it's sometimes painful, it's uncomfortable, it means giving up things we love and our way of existing in the world. But, the only thing about this journey I'm unhappy about is that I didn't do it 20 or 30 years ago.

P.S. If you are curious about the technicalities (which is what most people mean by "How did you do it?"), I used Jenny Craig. I found the one-on-one consultations and the structure of the program exceptionally helpful.
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Old 05-18-2004, 05:02 PM   #9  
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Default I Feel Hopless right now too.

hello there Becky. I am a new memeber and my name is Judee. I am around the same age as you, I'm 18 i will 19 really soon. I was 272 back in janurary, but i lost the weight and now weigh 205. I keep going from 210 to 205, I really want to lose 30 more pounds, but it is sooo hard now. I didnt think any kind of website actually had this kind of support. I understand how you feel and really would like to help you and we can support each other.

SW-205
GW- 180
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