Good morning and brrrrr! It turned cold here again yesterday with some snowflakes flying around even! Yuck...enough of that already!
Jennelle -- I really hope the librarian thing works out for you. Any word yet? I can totally relate to classroom burnout. Unfortunately, I'm so attached to the summers off schedule that I'm not sure I could be satisfied with any other line of work, at least right now!
Kat -- Sounds like you had a great weekend. I did some lounging with a book yesterday. Just finished The River King by Alice Hoffman. Very good. I just discovered her and I'm reading everything I can get my hands on that she wrote.
Chris -- Having fun with your hula hoop?
Tracey -- My computer's been on the fritz and I haven't gotten to say a proper hello to you! We're so glad you joined us over here. Your kids sound great. I have two daughters myself; my oldest turned 10 last week. Waaahh...where did the time go?
Holly -- Glad you joined us, too! I'm a lurker on a couple of other boards and I've "seen" you around a bit.
Ellis -- Where are you, my dear? I hope all is well.
It's time to get back into another busy week. Ready, set, GO! I'll check back in tonight!
Okay, so Chris is hula-hooping in her skivvies! I'm all for embracing your inner child!
Thanks for the hello, Christy! The time has flown. Seeing my first baby running around, and talking (talking, talking, talking) is amazing to me. I know if I blink, she'll be in college. She's calling me "Tracy" all the time right now, and does a running commentary on everything. DH calls her "Mistress of the Obvious". "My foot is inside my sock, Tracy!!! My foot is inside my shoe, Tracy!!!" It's hilarious.
We're closing on our refinance today, and then this afternoon, I have to go to church to work on our parish newsletter. DH starts his new job (same company, different position and location) tomorrow. He's been so distracted and stressed lately. I can't wait until he's settled in and back to normal.
I love my Hula Hoop and my ball, but if you play with them too much your guts will hurt. I too have been accused of being the Mistress of the Obvious, but I think sometimes its because the realness of the thing isn't there till I say it aloud. Thats why I can't pray in my head I guess
Quitting smoking sucks, God grant me the serenity that everyone will leave me alone and I won't have to commit homicide today I love ya'll!
hello again. i slept in until 9:30, since i have mondays off (which seems nice now but isn't cool when i have to work on saturdays!)
today i am going to take myself to see the movie monster. been wanted to see it for awhile, since before it came out because i worked at blockbuster and we got the early scoop. but david wasn't interested, so BOO ON HIM i'm going by myself!
it's 10:07 and i haven't had breakfast yet cuz of this darn computer. gonna go have my raisin bran and start my day.
Hi everyone! HI HOLLY! So happy to see you here! I saw your first step post. Thanks for sharing that with us.
We got back at 1 a.m. from our long journey. Elijah had a hard time with most of the trip - but he enjoyed his grandparents and great-grandparents and they all enjoyed him. It's good to be home!
I need to get caught up on all the posts. Hope you are all doing well.
i am having such a hard time. i hate admitting it, but it's there. i've felt on the verge of tears all day, i've cleaned a lot of the house so i'm not eating, but i still mananged to rationalize 2 bowls of cereal. i don't know what to do with myself, i'm having a really hard time liking myself right now.
david called to chit chat on his lunch, and made the mistake of trying to talk about what we will have for dinner tomorrow. this turned into a half hour discussion about how i don't compromise and have unrealistic eating ideas. how i'm afraid to eat carbs or high fat foods or anything high calorie and all i want to eat is something magical that is low calorie, low carb, and low fat. which really equals only vegetables, all the time.
and it's true. but he only wants to eat bags of pasta, hash browns, and corned beef for every meal. but he usually eats what i'm eating, thought slighty modified and he goes back for thirds.
i don't want a divided household, "his" or "hers" meals. i want to enjoy supper together, enjoy my food, and feel satisfied. how can i do that?
he wants to blame OA. he feels like my attitude changed after i went to these meetings. it's true - i feel worse about myself since i've gone. i feel like a horrible person. i feel more scared and more like i can't do it, because i'm trying to give up control. maybe it's not for me?
i feel like i need help. like a therapist or something extravagent that i can't afford. for christ's sake, i can't afford the stupid chiropractor i finally decided to go see. this shouldn't be so hard.
i'm going to go take myself to a movie now, to try to escape my life for a little bit. i was planning on having popcorn, but it won't fit in my day anymore. a diet coke sounds nice, that's what i'll have.
Holly!
I'm sorry you're having a rough day. I hope the experienced OA folks can give you some insight - but I haven't made a meeting yet, so I don't feel like I can help you. I've been feeling pretty lost lately myself - and feeling the need to consume - food, clothes, a new cat (that one probably will happen), anything. I can't consume DH because he's so distant and stressed right now.
I hope treating yourself to a movie was nice. Sorry I can't help, but I can sympathize.
I just want to say I really appreciate all of you being so open and sharing your experiences here. It's like I'm slowly getting a picture of each of you in my head. But I have to admit, the one of Chris is a little scary.
Hee hee - I'm just kidding, Chris. But your posts make me LOL!!!
(((((((((((Holly)))))))))))))))) One day at a time hun. Your letting yourself get freaked out by the what comes next, just for today relax, eat what you have been eating. All that fear and stuff comes from the emotional stuff. Like thinking about you and David eating seperate meals, if you were together would it matter?
((((((((((Tracy ))))))))))) I know about that consuming things to feel full of at least something. It doesn't work, it hasn't been working. My own best thinking got me up to 265 lbs in a ton of credit card debt and miserable. Just for today I can be the Chris I am suppose to be and sit quietly and just be. Let the feelings be, let the craziness be, just be.
I saw a wonderful thing the other day. God can see whom you can become, but loves you as you are.
Welcome Holly! I'm going to send you a PM, so look for it.
Chris: Great saying!
Tracy: Thanks for being here!
Angi: Welcome back. How did you travel?
Ellis: How was your second session?
Christy: What's The River King like? I am reading Storm of Swords which is the third book in the series I've been reading this whole time. The fourth has yet to be finished.
Tonight I am going out to dinner with an old grad school friend and a new co-worker who also happens to be friends with my friend. Should be fun. I'm going to shop a bit before we get together. Need some shirts (I keep staining mine ).
((Holly)) -- It IS scary and hard, isn't it? Chris is right; don't try to overthink things and overwhelm yourself! I don't have any other words of wisdom for you, but it'll come. Really. When I have more time (ha, ha, ha!) I'll share a little of my ESH in this area.
Chris -- Good job on the new non-smoking you! I'm so glad you finally decided to do this for yourself! Are your guts feeling better today?
Ellis -- Trainer working you hard? Meds getting regulated? Love you, hon!
Tracey -- I know what you mean about the little ones and TALKING. I laugh when I remember back to when I would lovingly gaze into my oldest daughter's crib, couldn't wait for the day when she could finally talk. Oh my goodness! Now neither one of them is quiet for a second. I guess we should be careful what we wish for, huh?
Kat -- The River King was sort of a murder mystery with some ghostly happenings in it. The kind of thing that usually creeps me out, frankly, but it was so well written that I didn't want to put it down. How I've never discovered Alice Hoffman until now is beyond me!
Today (Tuesday) is my looong day, but I'll try to check back in on today's thread later tonight.
Christy, how is your computer? Any better? Want me to come and clean it up for you?
I got my meds upped again yesterday. And my trainer? OH MY GOSH! He's KILLING me!!! When I got home yesterday I could barely walk. Took a long soak in a salt bath and flaked out on the couch (where I fell asleep, and slept the entire night). I was supposed to go to yoga last night, but there was no WAY I could do it. I've got to go back to the gym this morning for an hour of cardio. Then tomorrow more weights. Then cardio... God help me. I just may get slim. AND he's given me a food program. More on that later...
Chris, good going with the not smoking!! Keep it up, sweetie... you can do this!! I'm glad you're enjoying your hula hoop.
Angi, you must be exhausted. I'm so glad you had a good visit with your relatives.
Oh, Holly... Sending you love, hugs and prayers, sweetie. I'm so sorry you're having a difficult time. Come and vent here anytime... we're here for you.
Tracy, hugs for you, too, hon. Hang in there... it will all come together.
Kat, are you a spiller, too? I'm ALWAYS spilling coffee down the front of my clean shirts.
How was your dinner last night?
Jennelle? How are you doing, sweetie?
Must run and get to the gym... love and hugs to all of you...
morning guys, i only have a few minutes before i run off to work. thank you for your PMs and comments back. sorry i freaked out so much!
i felt better in the evening, after i took myself to a totally fluffy movie (confessions of a teenage drama queen). i just didn't feel like being on the computer any more.
it is that one day at a time thing. if i can focus on today, JUST today, i think i can do it. i'll pretend i'm not focusing on tomorrow (weigh in) and maybe it will become reality.
and focusing on eating just ONE bowl of cereal for breakfast is a good start.
Monday Chat -- March 22
I love ya'll!
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