Lets get this party started ladies. I am off today and the weekend, our chats have been a little slow so lets get some experience, strength, and hope going on.
Yesterday I learned about trusting HP. I woke up angry but with the willingness to surrender that anger and all those things bothering me as imperfectly as always. The more I surrendered the more I felt HP's love and understanding. I was given extra time at work to read my literature and find focus and meaning in my day. By the end of the day I was calm and smiling. I was even able to reach out and help someone, and we all know how good that feels
The other thing I need to turn over to HP right now is my weight. On Tuesday I went to the Dr. and I am at a plateau. Now the thing is who cares? I haven't been this small in a long time and I probably do need to hang out and check out the scenery. But the disease talks and it always has the thinner, more perfect version going on. I feel better just telling ya'll.
Jenelle- KEEP IN TOUCH WITH YOUR SPONSOR! All I ever read in literature is as soon as we start to coast we begin to believe its not that bad and we are back where we started at. You are way too wonderful for that!
Kat- Sorry they lost your post. Enjoy your conference and check-in when you can.
Angi- No matter what you eat we love you and a little overeating is a good reminder!
Okay Ellis, Sarah, Katrina, Christy! Front and center I miss you
Here I am...with several Girl Scout cookies plaguing me. I caved to them yesterday evening. I know why and I'll be more vigilant in the future. This has been a yucky week...no email yesterday evening, couldn't log in here because I deleted my cookies (not the GS ones unfortunately), HATE teaching the after school program, DH and daughters not cooperative. It's just one thing after another it seems. Ugh ugh ugh.
That said, I am so ready for the weekend and a good chat here!
Chris -- Glad you're feeling better! I hope you're able to rest some. Don't stress over the weight; I'm sure it'll move again and until then you're still beautiful!
Kat -- Sounds like you had a good time at your event.
Angi -- Hang in there! DOn't beat yourself up too much, hon.
Everbody else -- Hello!
I'll be back later today to catch up. Have a blessed day all!
Goodness! Are you tornado girls alright!? I'm thinking of you, and saying prayers...
Chris, when my drugs were working perfectly , I got into the habit of thinking, "Life is good!" Everytime some little thing would bother me, that's what would come into my head. "This is a drag, but it's managable, and Life is Good! Thank you, God!" It sounds corny, but it really changed my whole attitude to the "sh*t that happens". It got so that even the stuff that in the past I would have considered really upsetting was managable in my mind. (sorry about the crap sentence )
I'm glad you were able to change your mood around.
Christy, is your day getting any better? Hugs, sweetie... hang in there...
Where is everyone?
Spent the entire day with a friend. She's a dear, and I love her, but a day is too long to spend with anyone. Makes me resentful.
Our tenant moves in this weekend. I'm starting to get our finances in order (they're not good, but there's an end in sight), and I'm seriously considering getting a personal trainer at the gym. Someone who will work with me on the exercise AND diet. Oh, and I must join yoga again...
Only Christy, Ellis, and I checked in yesterday. Is this the slow death of the daily thread?
Yesterday I learned about having friends. I went to meeting feeling pretty pathetic that here it is Friday night and the most fun thing I have planned is a meeting My friends heard and saw me and I spent time with my sponsor and a couple of other ladies. I felt really loved, even though they are really into that home decorating stuff and the thing that stood out to me most at the store was a new WW Barbie, hey I am blessed to have them.
Just like I am blessed to have all of you!!!!!!!!!
Ellis- I think the drug thing is weird. I took my Xanax last night for the first time, I only took half and I liked it. It turned down the volume on my head and I was able to go to bed and I still woke up at my normal time Now this is either a gift from God to deal with my head or I need to be very careful. Today I know its only through my relationship with HP, all of you, working my program, and having a kind Dr. that I feel that abstinence is possible for me everyday.
Christy- Kids are a pain. My mother use to say to me, "If I give you an inch you take a mile." Well okay, now I am having that happen to me. It seems like we got to argue over every decision, the I am the grown-up speech is no longer working. How was yesterday?
Well I miss ya'll. I hope people check in today!
Much love,
Miss Chris
Gee, I hope this isn't the slow death of the daily thread! I would miss this so much!
Yesterday was okay, not great or anything. My youngest daughter hurt my feelings so bad that I cried. I feel very weird that a six year old can do that to me. And I am soooo worn out right now, with a busy weekend in front of me and an even busier week next week. (Class one night, teaching the after school program another afternoon, bus duty, faculty meeting, and a college student observer for the whole blessed week...plus all of the regular mommy and wifey stuff.) I was really hoping to sleep in this morning but when my eyes popped open at 6:45, that was it! I think I'm going to take a mental health day the week after next! I really need to be alone and chill.
Chris -- Glad your meeting went well and the meds turned down your head! (I LIKE that expression!)
You're not into home decorating, huh? I used to have this huge curtain fetish. Bought new ones every time you turned around or at least moved them from one room to another. What cured me? Building this house with way more windows than I'd ever had before!
Does WW mean Weight Watchers Barbie?!?! No way!
Ellis -- So the tenant is coming soon? Yaaay! Glad you see some hope on the financial front.
You'll have to tell us all about the trainer if you get one. And DO make sure he is a hottie! There's one guy at the gym where I go...an ex-Marine. Oh my! What a fine physical specimen he is!
I'm off to get a grocery list together and work on some laundry. I'll check back in later with you gals.
Christy, hon, your six year made you cry because you're tired and vulnerable right now. You deserve that mental health day, and take it earlier if you need it. You are number one. You are the Queen, and if you don't look after yourself, everything around you is going to fall apart. Sending you lots of love and hugs, sweetie...
Could your DH take the girls out this weekend for a little outing?
I'm on my way out the door to my second OA meeting. I've been looking forward to this all week. I even attended one, on line, at the Recovery Group.org....it was great. I love the honesty that pours forth. I feel as though I have found the answer to my problem...but I'm taking this one day at a time! This past week has been good. I was abstinent for most of the week, but I know I overindulged, even though at the time I rationalized that it was ok because it was a "diet food." Eating too much of anything is compulsive behavior, because the reason that I ate so much was NOT hunger! I'm learning, I'm learning!
Despite that, I've been to the gym twice, took a massive walk one day and have been using the stairs at work instead of the elevator. I have lost 4 lbs since last Saturday. So I know I'm heading in the right direction!
Thanks for being here, girls! It really helps to have kindred souls to relate to.
Had to get coffee.
Yes, get your DH to take the girls out, Christy. You take a nice bubble bath and read a book, or fool around on the computer or something. Tell him that Ellis is convinced you're verging on a nervous breakdown (having had plenty of experience herself ) , and you MUST have some time alone.
Our tenant is moving in tomorrow! And I can cash the cheque today. I'm going to treat myself to a new pair of jeans. I often hit the second hand stores (which is more fun and more rewarding), but my favorite old pair of jeans is holey, and I want another pair that fits properly. Regardless of the cost!
The trainer I'm planning on choosing IS cute. He's also happily married to a lovely girl, so he won't be tempted by my innumerable charms.
I COULD get a female trainer, but she wouldn't give me the same desire to work hard. If you know what I mean. I admit it... it's a sexual thing. If a man is watching, I'll work harder. Stupid, I know, but whatever works, right?
Chris, darling, if you were a single woman looking for a man, then I'd say, "Yes... how pathetic going to a meeting on a Friday night." It's hard to get rid of that feeling that Friday night is for partying or dating, isn't it? heh heh.
I'm so glad the Xanax worked well for you. Do you keep a journal of how your meds affect you? I think I should start doing that. It just seems so dreary to have to do. It would be a good idea, though...
Home decorating... I love it, but it requires MONEY! Well, not necessarily. I used to do some great decorating very cheaply, but I'm at that stage in my life where I'd rather save up for a good, well-done project. (although I'm thinking of building a rustic arbor this summer with old bits of lumber. I'll always be thrifty at heart.)
Chris, I LOVED playing barbies with my sister, and when I walk through the toy section at the store, I still want ALL the barbie stuff.
Got to go and finish off one final thing in the apartment...
love and hugs to all...
I went out to breakfast with an OA friend and then to 2 meetings. Its was awesome! I got to see so many people and hear them share their ESH! I am starting to see the point of tears. When we start healing our body needs a way to purge that stuff we have been eating in, and tears seem for a way for that to happen. It's better than leaking out of other orfices
Ellis- So you try harder when a man is watching, DH must love that Get some really adorable jeans and then the same pair in a smaller size to grow into Keeping a journal of how my meds make me feel, I never thought of it, but it would be nice to do about a week before I go in to talk to the Dr. Good idea!
Katrina- Keep coming back it works Hold on to that love of the program and finding your spirituality, it shines from the inside out!
Christy- Definitely a mental health day girl though I think our kids sometimes know which buttons to hit WW = Wonder Woman Could you see COE Barbie? Then take her to meetings and watch her shrink
Well I will try to come back later, taking this day 1 moment at a time!
Yesterday was a LOOOONNNG day! I had morning duty, so I had to be at school by 7:15, then we had our field trip to the hockey game last night. It would have been pointless for me to leave school at 3:00, drive the 1/2 hour home, then turn around and drive back at 5:00, so I just stayed and graded papers. I didn't get home until about 11:30, but the kids all had a great time and (thank God!) were well-behaved. I had to be up at 6:30 this morning to take my Praxis test (library media specialist). It wasn't that hard. I will know in a few weeks whether or not I passed it.
The test proctor this morning let me leave as soon as I was done with my test (It took me about an hour and fifteen minutes) instead of making me stay for the whole two hours. That was very nice of her.
I am sleepy, so I think I will take a nap until 3:00 or so. I still have tons of grading to do (story of my life) so I will have to start on it hot-and-heavy at 3:00.
Christy - I teach in an afterschool program two days per week and I hate it, too. I was going to quit doing it at the end of last semester, but they have such a hard time finding people to staff it that I decided I needed to fulfill my original committment. The kids who are there really need to be there, but they don't give a **** about school. I feel like a $20 an hour babysitter. They're doing away with the program next year, as it's not shown any measurable benefits. Even if they had it next year, I wouldn't do it.
Chris - Be careful ... don't let the numbers rule your life. Scales can suck.
Ellis - I completely see the reasoning behind your need for a male trainer. I'm the same way.
I haven't had a chance to catch up - I will later tonight. Just wanted to say hi. I stayed with a friend last night who lives close to my conference, hence why I've been AWOL.
I promise to write a much longer post tonight or tomorrow morning.
Ellis -- I had to chuckle at your rationale for a male trainer. See, I'm the opposite I guess. My self-esteem is so low I would never ask for a male trainer, fearing he would be disgusted by me.
Took your advice about the bubble bath. I soaked for a long time yesterday with a cup of white chocolate cappucino and a couple of Lifeline magazines. Wonderful...then I had to get out.
Katrina -- Congrats on your meetings and doing so well!
Chris -- OH, Wonder Woman, NOT Weight Watchers. Gee, that wouldn't be my obsession sneaking in here, would it?
Jennelle -- Glad to hear from a kindred spirit in the "I hate the after school program" club. A friend says I won't hate it when I get into the swing of things, but I'm not holding my breath.
Kat -- You've been so busy! Glad to see you back.
Well, I have to run and start getting for church. I'll check back later.
Ellis - I completely see the reasoning behind your need for a male trainer. I'm the same way.
I'm glad I'm not the only one, Jennelle. I signed up today for a trainer. He'll call me back sometime this week. I'm really looking forward to this. I've also signed up for yoga again, and I'm going to be a whole new Ellis starting this week.
Jennelle, you have a LOT on your plate! I hope you took that nap. Take some time for yourself, dear girl!
OH MY GOSH! I thought you meant a Weight Watcher Barbie, too, Chris!
Hey, I got some new jeans yesterday! DD and I went shopping... I bought a new pair, and then we hit the big second hand store and went wild. I bought several really nice XL tops, and when I got home they were too small. waaaaaaaaah!! Something to work towards, right?
Christy, how are you feeling today, hon? Are you getting some "me time"?
Kat, Angi, Katrina, Sarah, CeeJay... where are you, girls!?
I just had a great workout at the gym with my sister. Now I'm having a little snack before my major life-style change tomorrow.
So glad to finally catch up on the posts. This check in won't die - even if only 2 people post. I know that I for one use this as one of my daily tools, even if it means I check in with a short post versus one of my more usual longer posts. And I so appreciate everyone's ESH!
Oh my goodness, what cute coffee smilies they've added!
So I am now sponsoring someone online. I am so excited to be taking my program to a whole new level. Of course I am nervous about it and have little gremlins in my head saying stuff like "Are you sure you'd be any help?!", etc... But I'm going with HP on this - the gremlins can go bite themselves.
Also, after much thought, prayer, and discussion with my sponsor, I have joined the online Weight Watchers. Merely as a guide, not as the end all be all. Just taking my food plan up a notch. The program is very flexible, which (as I've shared in the past) is what I need because restriction triggers me. But I will have to say that if I find this program interfering with my abstinence, I will drop it in 2 seconds flat. My abstinence is WAY more important than my weight loss. So we will see how this goes. I am excited and feel that with my HP's guidance this will be a great step forward in increasing my health.
My weekend went well. Saw many friends (I have a good amount of friends in my field, from all over the LA area, so it's nice when there's a big conference for all of us to attend). One friend's husband pissed me off on Friday - not going to get into it but I found him condscending, rude to her (and me), and pompous. Had a good vent with DH the next day and then gave up my anger/annoyance to HP. Because in the end, this guy's attitude is none of my business (unless he physically hurts my friend, but he's not like that). Boy do i appreciate the ability to give up my annoyances/stresses/obsessions to HP. What a release!
Ellis: Glad you got the jeans you wanted! Don't worry about the tops - they will be a gift to you when you fit into them (and then they'll eventually be loose). I love using the clothes in my closet as a guage (spelling?) to my physical progress. Granted, during my COE days I hated it because hardly anything fit. Anyway, you seem to have a good attitude about it all.
Christy: Oooo, your bath sounded heavenly! I'm glad you are taking care of you. I 100% believe in mental health days - make that a YOU day!
Jennelle: Hope you did well on that test! I had to take a Praxis test (Speech Language Pathology) at the end of my masters. I passed but it was tough. I have a feeling that the questions that tortured me were just trial questions and that they didn't count. Either that or I am a kick @ss guesser.
Chris: Sounds like you had a great Saturday! I loved your description of your work day. Waking up in the pits but using some tools and ending the day calmly. I have experienced that way more than once. This program rocks.
Katrina: You're doing great! Keep coming back and keep on taking it ODAT.
OK, going food shopping today and also need to workout.
3-Day Weekend: Friday, Sat, Sun Chat
but with the willingness to surrender that anger and all those things bothering me as imperfectly as always. The more I surrendered the more I felt HP's love and understanding. I was given extra time at work to read my literature and find focus and meaning in my day. By the end of the day I was calm and smiling. I was even able to reach out and help someone, and we all know how good that feels 
I feel better just telling ya'll.
I miss you 
)
Makes me resentful. 
Wow!
My friends heard and saw me and I spent time with my sponsor and a couple of other ladies. I felt really loved, even though they are really into that home decorating stuff and the thing that stood out to me most at the store was a new WW Barbie, hey I am blessed to have them. 
Today I know its only through my relationship with HP, all of you, working my program, and having a kind Dr. that I feel that abstinence is possible for me everyday. 
No way!
You take a nice bubble bath and read a book, or fool around on the computer or something. Tell him that Ellis is convinced you're verging on a nervous breakdown (having had plenty of experience herself 
) , and you MUST have some time alone. 
Get some really adorable jeans and then the same pair in a smaller size to grow into 
Anyway, you seem to have a good attitude about it all. 
I'm glad you are taking care of you. I 100% believe in mental health days - make that a YOU day! 
