Just thought I would stop in and say hello. I'm 45 years in the making and have a lot of weight to lose. I'm very close to the top end my highest weight and would like to not even think about that number as a starting point. I purposely have started "consciously eating" every day to help me move down the scale. I don't eat unless I acknowledge it. It's a choice what I put into my body and I'm certain that eating without thinking about it got me where I am.
I've not always had to fight my weight. I was pretty hot in high school and into my 20's. But, as I look back at how I developed into a woman, I know my early on curves meant a later life of weight gain. Oh, how I wish I appreciated my body back then. The little bit of tummy I had is nothing on what I carry around now.
I've been very unhappy with myself the past few years, especially that I can't lose weight as easily as I used to. I've never been one to worry about the extra 5 pounds that made my pants too tight. I figured it would come and go and now it's been here a lot longer than it should be. So, I never tried to lose those 5 or 10 pounds.
I did successfully lose about 40-50 pounds when my son very young. And, in a very short amount of time. I plateaued and stayed at 170 for about a year then it started piling on again. That was 20 years ago.
I tried a few more times to lose weight after that with little success. No matter how many miles I walked or portioned food meals I did (or didn't) eat, I couldn't shed any weight.
I would be happy to be 170 even though my end goal is closer to 150.
Sorry if this feels a bit disjointed. I've been sitting here at my desk alternating between crying, working and writing a "goal" list. I'll share that later.
What spurred the crying? I was tagged in a photo from a local chamber of commerce event on Facebook. Just thinking about that makes me tear up a bit. It's not a shocker that I'm overweight, I am very aware that I'm the biggest person in the room generally. But it just makes it so much harder to see it proclaimed to the world by fellow business owners, even if they don't realize that is what they are doing.
I hate pity parties and I hate crying in front of people. So, a smile on my face I will paint and go about my business life as if nothing is bothering me.
The second reason I'm crying is because after seeing that photo I have to admit to myself that the someone I'm interested in would never be interested in that photo. He's a good friend and very much the type of person I would want to have in my life. But, I think he has no interest in dating someone like me. I could hope and pray that I'm wrong, but I'm not. That is definitely more painful than having my fatness on display on Facebook.
OK, enough of that. I want to learn more about everyone here who is struggling or been through similar struggles.
I tried a few more times to lose weight after that with little success. No matter how many miles I walked or portioned food meals I did (or didn't) eat, I couldn't shed any weight.
If you're trying to lose weight, then what you eat is more important than how much you eat. Focus on eating healthier foods, and not just cutting calories.
Avoid sweets, refined carbs, and deep fried foods. Eat a lot of vegetables. Eat enough protein and healthy fats.
If you don't know if your diet is good, you can post a list of foods that you eat, and I'll let you know if I have suggestions.
Losing weight is 80% diet, 20% exercise, so no amount of exercise will make you lose weight if your diet isn't good. However, I would recommend doing both cardio and strength training. If you have more muscle, you'll be able to burn calories faster, and you'll burn more calories throughout the day, not only while you're exercising.
Sounds like we're in a similar boat. I'm 46 and lately the scale has been saying about 190 (and not been under 180 in over a year). My ultimate goal is 150. A friend of mine texted me before the holidays to tell me that she was out with her 13 year old son & he got excited that he saw someone who looked exactly like me and they didn't know I was going to be there. Well, it wasn't me. but she sent me a picture of this woman that they thought was my doppelganger. Thankfully I was home alone, because as soon as I saw the picture, I started to cry. Do I really look like THAT? Now, with the new year & a new leaf, I am determined not to look like THAT anymore. I'm trying something new (Noom App), but not sure how I feel about it yet. I only started it on 1/1 & while it does track meals, weight, steps, etc., I really liked the idea of the psychological support (using goal specialists, group support, etc) I really haven't seen any of that yet (but there's a week left in my trial).
Please let me know if Noom works for you. I’ve heard of it, but tracking my food intake has never worked for me in the past. And mini goals? I’m a bit impatient so while it sounds good, unless the goals are really real, it would be something I would ignore.
In high school I did weigh watchers with my mom. I didn’t have a weight issue, but we thought the food tracking would be helpful. I ate so close to their recommended diet at the time I felt cheated. What? Nothing new and exciting? No magical replace this with that and you’ll be on a healthier diet?
I’m sorry you experienced what I did recently. I hate to think that anyone would feel that way about seeing themselves in photos. It’s a little heart breaking at times (hence the crying).
Hi Andiisme I know that feeling of seeing a picture that a friend thinks resembles me. your reaction about the same as mine. I have started Jan 1 to begin my better way of eating. I don't believe in a total no carb diet for myself and i'm kinda winging this. but I started at 277lbs my highest weight now i'm at 273 for my first weigh in. I am eating protein in form of meat and also a yogurt a day and fruit also brown rice or small about of potato. i've cut out all those bad donuts that I love i'm a lover of the sweets and breads. now that i am eating only high fiber and proteins and my veggies I feel I may be able to stick with this I turn 50 in november and hoping to be a few lbs lighter one day at a time I also throw in high fiber cereal with low fat milk for a snack which is better that before of 4 toast with peanut butter and jam or 3 donuts.
I cancelled my Noom yesterday, You do have to log (I'm ok with that - It reminds you based on what you tell it is your schedule of eating meals). They want you to weigh in first thing in the morning. They want you to start walking (using the tracker in your phone) starting at 2,000 steps a day & increasing by 300 a day (I keep forgetting to take my phone when I walk away from my desk at work). The articles are ok - only takes about 10 minutes a day & they do give you some tips & tricks but overall no magic. The psychology part is that they try to get you to think about the root of why you eat the way & when you do... stop stress eating, etc. (Again nothing new). They assign a "goal specialist" who in my opinion is not a real person but a robot who sends back questions based upon your answers to them (sometimes with a huge delay in time). They will assign you to a "group" (which is really 1 of the reasons that I tried it was for the support), but they don't do that until week 3 (after the 14 day trial ends). The real reason that I cancelled (and I was willing to pay the $149) was because when my group specialist missed my check-in then I commented about it, she apologized for missing & asked how the week went, When I immediately answered it was 5pm, so I didn't hear from her until the next day, at which point she didn't say anything that I didn't already know.
And to make matters so much worse, I blew up at my hubby last night for not helping me cook dinner (because I was in a mood).
I guess I'm back on my own (hopefully with hubby's help after my tantrum last nigh). I'll try to use this site better this time around. I found the thread for the 5lb challenge - think that's where I'll start Monday morning.
[If you want to see the whole story I posted in the 40-something group a play by play of the messages.]
I’m sorry you experienced what I did recently. I hate to think that anyone would feel that way about seeing themselves in photos. It’s a little heart breaking at times (hence the crying).
I get the crying, and I've been there. The only thing we can do is try to better ourselves. One step at a time.
Have you tried "Smart Baking Company" I just saw an ad & they say they have buns that are 72 calories & 12 grams of fiber.
I found a store near me that has them (according to their website) now I have to go & see if they have them & how they are.
Noom sounds like what I’ve been doing on my own, kinda sorta. I think about what I’m eating. Will it make me feel bloated later? Will this provide me real energy or a short lived high? Do I need those last few bites of sandwich or potatoes or whatever? It’s terribly difficult to leave food on a plate when you were raised to eat everything served to you.
I take Konjac root to help me feel more full, but I think the level “recommended” is too much for me. I feel terribly over full rather than satisfied with the amount I ate. It takes a lot longer to work than the 30 minutes stated on the bottle, so even when I would eat just a small amount of food the Konjac would expand later and made me feel gross.
I’m also a baker and love to make goodies for everyone. Cookies, scones, cakes, etc. and tasting is a part of the process. I have to take that into consideration when eating regular meals.
Thank you all for responding, I need people who understand what I’m going through and that aren’t a part of my daily life.
Our parents (&grandparents) really messed us up with the "never leave food on your plate" theory. I've tried to break that mental block but it is hard.
I never heard of konjac root. I had to look it up. (I tend to stay away from any kind of supplements, but that' just me - partially because I have some weird allergies and never know when I try something new if I will have a reaction.)
A while ago, on the Today Show, Joy Bauer did a 3 day detox diet. One of the things in this detox was that within 30 minutes prior to eating you should drink 16oz of water. Maybe try that when it's just a small meal & skip the konjac root - maybe it will give you that full feeling without feeling gross.
I too love to cook and bake, so I know it's hard to not "sample" everything.
The other thing I just found (and it's free) is a "5-day Mindful Eating Challenge". It's totally free & starts tomorrow (but looks like it's no set times, just emails). I found it on Facebook but here's the site: https://sarabest.com/mindful-eating-challenge
The real reason I came back to this site was to find the support of people in a similar situation that aren't a part of my daily life.
If you're trying to lose weight, then what you eat is more important than how much you eat. Focus on eating healthier foods, and not just cutting calories.
Avoid sweets, refined carbs, and deep fried foods. Eat a lot of vegetables. Eat enough protein and healthy fats.
If you don't know if your diet is good, you can post a list of foods that you eat, and I'll let you know if I have suggestions.
Losing weight is 80% diet, 20% exercise, so no amount of exercise will make you lose weight if your diet isn't good. However, I would recommend doing both cardio and strength training. If you have more muscle, you'll be able to burn calories faster, and you'll burn more calories throughout the day, not only while you're exercising.
I will say I am learning this now. As much as I did not want to believe it, I have learned over the past few weeks that it really is about what you eat. I'm eating the same amount of calories as I was when I was gaining weight but I'm making better choices about WHAT I am eating. With those better choices I'm more likely to lose weight and I'm also MUCH less likely to be grossly underestimating my calorie intake. Even if I miss an ounce of carrots, the caloric impact on my day will be much smaller than if I miss an ounce of cheese.
Please let me know if Noom works for you. I’ve heard of it, but tracking my food intake has never worked for me in the past. And mini goals? I’m a bit impatient so while it sounds good, unless the goals are really real, it would be something I would ignore.
In high school I did weigh watchers with my mom. I didn’t have a weight issue, but we thought the food tracking would be helpful. I ate so close to their recommended diet at the time I felt cheated. What? Nothing new and exciting? No magical replace this with that and you’ll be on a healthier diet?
I’m sorry you experienced what I did recently. I hate to think that anyone would feel that way about seeing themselves in photos. It’s a little heart breaking at times (hence the crying).
Hey, Noom is actually what I have been using since right before New Year. I did not pay for it, cancelled before the end of the free trial because I can still have access to the articles.
What I like about it is the articles - they aren't ground breaking but they are daily and it helps me to be able to get a little "pep talk" in the morning and a reminder of different ways to pay attention to my thoughts/cravings throughout the day.
I don't like their food tracker (and their exercise tracker sucks) but I'm currently still using it because the way they break down food into green, yellow and red is really helpful for me to conceptualize. I find that I crave "red" foods (red isn't BAD but it should be minimized) and ate hardly any green foods so even when I was eating low calories, my intake was not at all healthy. I like that I can try to have a day with no red and more green.
Everyone will respond differently to different ways to manage weight, but I have found Noom mostly helpful overall. I'm hoping to get the support piece from this forum since I'm not paying for it.
Hello AndieIsMe!
I think we can all share and relate to having the same feelings you do. I have had them. Especially the feelings of "I don't look good enough for other people".
What I have realized, and it took a long time to do so, is that any person who really loves me doesn't care about what I look like. The people who are important in my life, love me for me, and stick around because of how they feel around me, and how they feel when I'm not around. That is far more important than having people in my life who will ditch me because my shape or looks don't conform to what they like.
I have also had a long struggle with accepting myself, just the way I am. This was a tough one! Through a long journey of self-discovery, I learned a few valuable lessons:
1) If I can't like or love myself, other people are going to have a hard time liking or loving me.
2) Self-Image is exactly that - what I think of me, not what someone else thinks of me.
3) Once I made peace with myself, I became more positive, and life started changing.
4) People are attracted to who I am, not what I am. Positivity attracts positive things and people.
Once I realized these things (there are others, but the list is long), my life started taking a turn for the better.
You are in charge of you.
The decisions you made over your life so far, has brought you to where you are now. And that is awesome news!
That means that you can start to make decisions today, that will take you somewhere else.
Set goals, work out how you are going to get there, enjoy the journey.
Sounds like we're in a similar boat. I'm 46 and lately the scale has been saying about 190 (and not been under 180 in over a year). My ultimate goal is 150. A friend of mine texted me before the holidays to tell me that she was out with her 13 year old son & he got excited that he saw someone who looked exactly like me and they didn't know I was going to be there. Well, it wasn't me. but she sent me a picture of this woman that they thought was my doppelganger. Thankfully I was home alone, because as soon as I saw the picture, I started to cry. Do I really look like THAT? Now, with the new year & a new leaf, I am determined not to look like THAT anymore. I'm trying something new (Noom App), but not sure how I feel about it yet. I only started it on 1/1 & while it does track meals, weight, steps, etc., I really liked the idea of the psychological support (using goal specialists, group support, etc) I really haven't seen any of that yet (but there's a week left in my trial).
Hi! Thanks for the info on Noom. I'm going to check it out.
I was just thinking about how I'm overly harsh on my appearance but everything about his doesn't bother me in the least. He recently lost quite a few pounds simply by cutting out processed sugar. Then December hit and the holiday food hit him. I barely noticed, but he did and he said something about it the other day. I'm one of his sugar dealers (cookies mainly) so whenever I mention making more, he jokes about not wanting any. He quickly changes that to "needing" and agrees to have some cookies.
Just so happens I'm making some cookies tonight. Not sure if they will compete with the Girl Scout Cookies hitting the streets tomorrow, but you never know!
Conscious Eating - Hello! I'm new here
