Hey everybody.
This is Etta and this is my story.
I've been slowly packing on weight ever since about the age of 13. I've had various medical issues and a really hectic life, so being thin was never a priority for me. All of a sudden, I realized that I was quickly approaching 200lbs and that unless I made major lifestyle changes, I would be essentially driving my health into a ditch.
I joined a gym at the end of December and I've been trying to make salads for myself instead of going to a fast food place every day. I think that a lot of my eating problems were psychological. I don't eat because I'm sad or anything like that, but I've been "treating" myself with ice cream and chocolate and junk and I just relied on the convenience of fast food. I am literally disgusted with my habits at some points because I know it's going to have a bad reaction to my body and make me tired and sluggish, yet I don't think i deserve better.

I don't want to make this too long or boring and I'm sure we've all had these moments where it's like- holy sh*t how did all those years go by with me stuffing my face and gaining weight?

Anyways, here's my stats:
height: 5 foot 9
highest weight: 185
current weight: 178
first goal weight: 173
ultimate goal weight: 150

Above all, I want to be fit and healthy. I've had so many health issues growing up that all I want is to live and not worry. My fitness love right now is circuit training. I've never been one for cardio and I really don't have the lungs to run anymore.

Let's do this together and make 2014 our best year everybody!

Hey, Etta!

I'm new here, too! Welcome! If it makes you feel any better, I'd love to be your current weight! I'm only an inch shorter than you and when I was in the 170's I looked pretty decent and felt great, too. But I think it's great you are getting back on track and getting your health together, because that's what's important!

And speaking of, sorry you've been through so many health issues, too. I have as well and I have had more surgeries and illnesses than I care to count. But we can do it together! Yes, let's make 2014 *the* year, right?

*hugs*

- Dakini

Hey Dakini, Thanks for the support.
The good thing about being tall is you can hide your weight better.
There's just more room. lol
You are right. We can make this the year that our lives change for the better.

Hahaha! Yes! I've noticed that people don't believe me when I say my weight. I mean, they *know* and see that I am very very fat, but when I give them the actual number they think I'm lying. I just "carry the weight well", as my mother used to always say.

Hi Etta,
I can relate to you a lot. I'm currently in my mid-40's and I had a very rough life, not really health-wise per se, but psychologically from a bad family situation, then continuing mental health disorders throughout my adult-hood because I refused to admit anything was wrong. I ballooned up to 217 pounds at 5'3" back in 2003-2004.

At that point I said the EXACT same thing as you just wrote "I don't deserve any better" because my self-esteem was so low. I spent a lot of time on an old Yahoo forum that is now defunct, about weight loss, and I read lots of books to help with my self-confidence. Slowly I managed to get to a point where I realized I DID deserve health and happiness.

We all do.

You don't have to "be" your past. I started all over again at the age of 35, new city, new name, new people in my life...and a new me. I've never looked back. You can totally do this for yourself!!

And if circuit training is something you love, keep at it! I love cardio, so that's what I do mostly, it's important to do what we love right?

You are so awesome. It's hard to move on with your life. I came from a really dysfunctional upbringing, and I'm still kind of close to it, but I'm slowly detaching and moving towards a brighter outlook.
Thanks for much for reading and responding to my post.

You are right, we should do what we love. I am so happy with circuit training and the way it makes my mind and body feel. I like the challenge and am actually excited to go to the gym.

thanks again

I've said this very thing to myself so many times it would be funny if it weren't also sad!

Welcome! It sounds like you've found your groove, I look forward to reading about your success!

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