Time to try something new. I'm willing to listen now.
I've struggled with my weight for years and I am fed up. I am so unhappy with myself. I am done. I am done yoyo dieting, starving, overexercising, feeling worthless, ugly, hopeless, being so depressed all I can do is lay in bed and cry while the house goes to shambles, being too anxious to even hold down a job, buying and eating food in secret, binging; I'm done. Yeah I've lost weight in the past, but if I really knew what I was doing I wouldn't be right back to square one. So here's my situation:
I live with my boyfriend. He works, I don't (can't find a damn job). Income is tight. We live off pasta, ground beef, met/bratwurst, casseroles, Hamburger Helpers, etc. Basically, a crap ton of carbs. Why? Because it keeps. Noodles are easy to get hold of, and the meat can be frozen. Once we're done with this stash of noodles, we're going to start buying spinach-based noodles, so this isn't something that will continue. We buy the 2% milk, don't drink soda, and don't buy bread. I have a bag of cheapie frozen veg in the freezer and a bag of broccoli. Small bag of chicken.
We usually eat one meal a day. With our budget, it just isn't financially smart to be cooking more than that. I make whatever it is --spaghetti, hamburger helper, WHATEVER-- eat probably 1/2 - 1/4 cup, then pack his lunch. Whatever is left over, he eats when he gets up. If I get hungry in the evening I have air popped popcorn, or a yogurt.
We JUST moved, so until we're a bit more stable, we don't want to buy very many fruits and veg --just things that go bad relatively quickly. Especially since I'm still trying to find out/remember what he can and can't eat with this band.
Variety, meat-wise, is hard to do because SO has a lap band and has a hard time getting things down, especially chicken.
I drink water like a fish.
I do the Butt Bible work outs and Billy Blanks workouts. I want to start walking, but we'll see about that.
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If you've made it this far, please help me. Explain weight loss to me like I'm 5. Even when it's clear cut, I still feel so overwhelmed and lost. SO supports me, but I need more. I'm literally alone in a new state and have no one to turn to when he's at work or stressing about work. I need another support system. I need daily or weekly check ins, accountability, a schedule.
Thank you.
Last edited by mymagicnumber; 07-13-2013 at 03:54 AM.
I'd rather focus on you than on your BF, but i know that won't work for you right now. Can he eat things like chickpeas, lentils, black beans? they're a good source of protein, no fat, easy to eat with his surgery. combining them with smaller amounts of meat - even chicken - can help both of you. i make a sort of chicken stew with chickpeas, chicken, a can of tomatoes, some seasoning, and whatever other veggies i can throw in... stewing the chicken can make it softer.
trust me - i know this.
as for YOU - i'd also suggest that you start small. make one small change every couple of weeks and stick with it. doesn't matter if it's taking a walk or job hunting or trying a new recipe that's filling, has a veggie or two [frozen is perfectly fine], and with meat that's soft enough for the BF - it does'nt matter. as long as you start with something.
i'm also wondering if you're eating enough - it sounds like you're really restrictiing your intake so that there's enough food for your BF. that's not good for your weight loss.
and BTW - that job hunting comment? please don't take offense. i've been unemployed for 18 months and JUST found a full time job that comes with a huge pay cut but benefits. I live alone, and am scraping the bottom of the barrel. one of the things that saved me is my gastric bypass - my food expenses - even for healthy stuff - is very low!!! thank goodness. eggs have saved my life.
but you can't give up on yourself. you just can't. you can be angry, hurt, sad, frustrated, miserable, whatever, but you can't give up.
Thank you for addressing the needs of my SO. So many people don't understand that you just can't eat whatever the heck you want with a lap band, and that, combined with a low budget, can really screw things over. So many people are set in "this is how you do it, either do it or stop whining" well when you have diet limitations it can be a bit difficult. I know what we're eating isn't exactly healthy for him, either, BUT he works LONG hours, so he isn't putting on weight from eating so many carbs at the moment. I asked him if he'd like to try whole wheat noodles -- he actually said he prefers the spinach-derived ones! So I said sure! In some ways, his limits help me. I'm a bread FIEND. I love it. I've been known to devour a whole loaf in a few days, and we don't even own a toaster right now!
I can't remember exactly. His lap band is actually tighter than it should be right now and he just hasn't gotten around to having it fixed yet...he says certain beans are hard on him. Most chicken is too tough. He has problems with eggs. Broccoli and the like bloat him up.
I'm seriously considering making a crock pot meal once a week...we go shopping Sunday.
I do restrict more than I should. It's just habit. I either eat way too much, or not enough. Plus, he's working. He needs the food more than I do. But I do realize that not getting enough calories can slow weight loss -- I just can't justify using up our food stash on several small meals a day, you know? Maybe I should start looking for some healthyish, higher calorie "snacks"?
I don't want to give up. But I feel like I'm trying to crawl out of an ancient well everyone forgot about a long time ago...
Last edited by mymagicnumber; 07-12-2013 at 08:12 PM.
i have a tough time with chicken - it gets stuck a lot unless it's really soft. i do better with beef. really good soup has saved me often. if i take a small piece of very tough beef on sale and turn it into a good soup [with whatever beans and veggies i have on hand], it lasts me for a long time and fills me up with healthy food.
I've also turned my mother's meatloaf into a high-protein, low carb meal that i really REALLY love. start with cooking about 2 cups of finely chopped veggies [mix of onions, celery, mushrooms, carrots, sometimes some tomatoes] until they're soft. then take a can of chick peas [rinsed] and mash it into a big mixing bowl. add the veggies. you now have about 3 cups or so of nothing but mashed up veggies. add in a pound or so [even less, sometimes] of ground meat [your choice] a small handfull of breadcrumbs, whatever seasonings you like, and an egg or two, and mix well. this makes enough for me and for a friend with 4 grown children and a husband. if you form the mixture into large meatballs, and freeze them, you'll have individual grab and go meals.
Time to try something new. I'm willing to listen now.
