Six years ago I weighed 235 pounds and in under 2 years I had gotten down to a nice healthy 175 (I was shooting for 155) and kept that weight off. Best thing was that my yearly biometric screening was great! I was healthy inside and out, and I took care of my body making sure to eat healthy things, not drink soda, and exercise.
Then last year I had my wonderful amazing adorable baby girl, and I put on 100 pounds during the pregnancy. The majority of this weight I put on by eating healthy things, but still I was just consuming so many calories and was stuck on bed rest for a majority of my pregnancy.
After having my daughter I was left with a body I had no idea how to take care of anymore. My once flat beautiful stomach was now a large gut with stretch marks, and though I've lost some of my weight and my stomach is beginning to shrink back it's nothing like it once was. I'm heart broken. I feel guilty. I feel ashamed.
On the outside I keep all this in. My husband is very supportive and tells me I am beautiful, kisses me, wants me, but inside I feel trapped in a body that I feel isn't mine. I feel so slow, so out of shape, and though I've regained some of my prior strength the excess weight just makes me want to cry.
Then I've been eating what is fast or available mixed with healthy things. I've been stuck in a rut as far as weight loss, though this time around I'm trying not to focus on weight as much as inches lost and fitness levels gained. I've just been in such a rut lately. It's like I just am so tired so often and I just don't want to go back to fighting to lose weight. I have a little gym set up in my garage and I got a punching bag and reflex bag for Christmas. I also have a stationary bike and fun exercise things, but part of me just feels like-why work so hard. It's just going to all come back anyway and I'm so tired. I just want to rest.
I don't know what's going on with me lately. My daughters birthday and birthday parties are coming up in 4 months and I would love to take off some serious weight before that. I've got to get motivated. It's so hard. All I do is work anymore. I need to play...and somehow I need to make exercise feel like playing.
If only I could go hiking everyday or mountain biking everyday...sigh. It's not that bad. I mean my situation is good. The problem is more in my head. I've seriously got to get motivated...thus I am here. To try to fix my brain problems-then I'll be able to fix my body problems.
Nice to meet you all and I appreciate your time, friendship, and encouragement!
Put on 100 Pounds During My Pregnancy...
