New to site, and feeling miserable

  • Hello all,

    I am new here, and am really looking forward to getting support and hopefully getting motivated to continue on my journey!

    Background: I am a sophomore in college, and basically got hit with the weight gain "perfect storm": I started taking birth control pills and antidepressants (for OCD, not depression, in case that's relevant) right before my freshman year, and I took on (and have continued to take on) heavy courseloads with lots of jobs and extracurricular activities. Stress + medication with weight loss as a significant side effect + entering college all kind of hit me at once. I had always been a small child, and was very slim all through high school. But all at once, I had gained 40 pounds. I'm not trying to make excuses for this weight gain -- I ate unhealthily and didn't exercise. It really is all my fault. But I think it was probably exacerbated by these other factors (but maybe not -- it doesn't really matter, and I'll never know).

    So now I am 5'3" and 155 pounds. I am not obese or grossly overweight, but this weight gain has really taken a toll on my self esteem. I used to do some modeling, but now I hate cameras because they will show me how fat I am. I don't want to see high school friends, because I know they will be shocked and judge me. My old clothes don't fit. Everything looks terrible on me. I feel really, really miserable about all this weight gain. I've tried to start various diets, but I have such a hard time sticking to anything. I'm on WeightWatchers now, but it hasn't really helped so far.

    Does anybody have any suggestions of how to get started on this daunting task? I'd LOVE to see myself back at my high school weight of ~115, but I don't even know where to begin. I really need advice and words of wisdom, because I am sick and tired of hating myself.
  • I know how you feel: I'm not overweight either but I decided to start my weight loss journey after being sick of not wanting to look in the mirror or make an effort with my appearance. In my case, a few kilos of weight loss have made a big difference to my confidence.

    I've tried lots of different diets over time, and I'm finding that calorie counting is the only one that has actually worked for me, and I think this will also be the easiest to stick to while you're at uni (I'm a student too).

    Don't beat yourself up about the weight gain: It sounds like your medication could have played a part in that. Chin up, and know that you're able to make the change.
  • From what I understand, birth control can cause weight gain. And of course, lifestyle and eating habits.....

    I understand that miserable feeling. I had lost a ton of weight and felt really good about myself. Then I proceeded to gain it all back and was so ashamed and felt horrible about myself. I avoided cameras and have never seen myself at my heaviest. I have a "before" picture that I took using a tripod, and I haven't seen it yet (can't find the memory card). I dreaded bumping in to anyone who I hadn't seen in awhile, especially those who told me my diet would fail. They'd be right. Now that I've lost, my confidence has returned, and I have a new determination to not let myself ever gain weight again. I don't mind having my picture taken, and I don't care who I run in to anymore. It's a great feeling. I love being thin!

    I think the best place to start is with calorie control (or Weight Watchers, which I have also done). Like the Finch, calorie counting is the one way that has worked for me, on my own. Between calorie restriction and exercise, I have successfully lost near 70 pounds. It's easy to eat too many calories, so you need to figure out your portions. It's also possible to enjoy the "treats and eats" of college without over doing it if you can figure out calories and portions. Weight Watchers should be excellent for helping you work that part out! Stick with it for awhile and see where it takes you!

    Good luck!