[KarmaCan]

Hey everyone. I'm Karma. I'm a massage therapist and I live in Asheville, NC which is a very active and healthy town. I feel like the odd one out a lot of the time here. I love where I live and have no plans to leave. Everyone here is stunning, fit, glowing, super inspiring. I don't feel that way about myself tho. I weigh 213 pounds. I am a tall woman, 5'9" so I'm super proportional and don't look super obese or anything. My main source of self loathing recently has been stretch marks on my stomach. I got them when I was broken up from my boyfriend over the winter and super stressed and not eating well. I feel like these marks on my stomach really are telling me that I need to get things under control. My self worth is lower, I feel uncomfortable being naked with my boyfriend even tho he says he doesnt care, I care.

I guess I have always just felt that I was a big girl and that is how it was going to be given my hypothyroid status. I gained around 20 lbs two years ago when I stopes taking my meds thinking I didn't need them. I was super distrustful of doctors for a while because they failed to diagnose my constant nausea ( turned out to be a food sensivity which they never ever discussed with me) and urinary pain (still working to find what this is, had it my whole life and now believe that I was constantly dehydrated which I'm workingon fixing now).

Ay way, I want to be below 200lbs. I know I will feel better about myself if I can achieve that. I honestly don't want my self worth to rely on a number on a scale but just to be a healthy and viable person I know I need to make so e changes.

I believe my main hold up is inactivity and overeating especially when alone. So for now I am going to focus on not being compulsive about eating when alone and adding walks and hula hooping into my daily routine. I have two dogs and SHOULD be walking them daily but often don't want too because I hate leaving home and being watched by my neighbors. I feel judged by others even when they probably aren't judging me at all. Hooping is fun and something I do well. I'm a hoop dancer and love performing, however lately when I perform I find I'm tiring out easier and feeling uncomfortable.

I wonder if self-esteem just starts getting lower as you age and your body changes. Does anyone have suggestions about stomach stretch marks and things I can do to help reduce them?

I'm not sure if I'm motivated enough to make changes but I guess I'm willing to try. I'm going to do a juice fast starting Sunday or Monday. My last fast I lost 11 pounds and gained a bit of confidence about my abilities to control myself. It also helped me not crave so much salty and sweet foods. I did 11 days last time and will shoot for 2 full weeks this time.

Thanks for reading and supporting. Xo

KarmaCan?

[PlateauQueen]

Hi Karma! Thanks for sharing your story, I can definitely relate to some of your experiences. I have lost a lot of weight since I was younger (over 70lbs) and because of it I have many unwanted stretch marks on my arms, hips, butt and thighs.... I am very insecure about them too and when I ask my doctor what can be done they usually say just keep them moisturized, try coco butter and other stretch mark products. I have recently been applying Palmer's stretch mark cream and oil (because it’s affordable) at least twice a day. I have not noticed a big difference, but it may be too soon to tell. Whether the cream and oil works or not, I have come to terms with my stretch marks for the most part. They are there to stay, whether I like them or not. I just have to remind myself to not let it get me too down and that everyone (even the prettiest and most confident people) have insecurities, but if you find a product that works please let me know! : )

As for being hesitant to get out in public because you feel like people are starring at you. Don't let that stop you! Stare back! lol When I see others exercising (no mater their size, age, etc.) I think good for them! I have been there! : ) Not everyone is going to have a negative impression and the ones that do are not worth upsetting your perfectly good day and motivation.

I’m glad you are making improvements to your health. It sounds like you are on the right track and I wish you nothing but the best!

[Liliann]

Welcome! Good luck with your efforts!! YOU can do this!!

[KarmaCan]

Aww thanks guys! I am down on myself today because I got on the scale and it says I gained five pounds... I have been tracking what I eat and trying to make positive changes. I'm so discouraged...

[Liliann]

Back!! Good luck with your efforts!!