[99rnthn]

I'm 19 years old and 245 lbs just looking at me you wouldn't believe it I look like i'm about 200..210 at the most because most of my weight spread across my bottom and thighs I only recently gained the weight over 50lbs within the last year I've gone through a lot of stress and found myself trying to eat my pain away I guess I didn't really realize it because i live in clothing stores constantly buying new things never needing to continuously wear old things until recently when I decided to save for my first car I went to try on my favorite jeans and could barely get them up so fastening them was out of the question next I went to an old shirt let's just say no matter how much tugging and pulling I tried it looked more like a bra than a full length tee (ok I may be exaggerating a bit with the shirt but you get the picture) After ripping two rooms of clothes apart I came to the realization that my eyes had been playing tricks on me I went on countless crash. Diets losing and gaining .. gaining and losing my body lost control and I started to feel as if I was going insane every aspect of my life began to be consumed with research of the next diet I'd try i'm to the point of giving up completely.. Unfortunately i've struggled with bulimia before many times in the past (yes overweight people can have this problem too) now I feel like i'm really going to let it take over i'm consuming less than 200 calories a day and those few are from 1 protein shake and 1 small cup of yogurt with maybe a glass of metamucil the simple thought of vomiting makes me sick so I eat nothing to prevent having to I chose this site rather than a pro-Ana/Mia site because I don't want any support for the way i'm living i'm not looking for people to condone it I just want a place where neither a critic nor a believer is there to ridicule me into telling me i'm wrong or to encourage me that i'm right I just want to exist in a world that's not focused on the way I decide to do what so many others try to do daily .. lose weight .. I understand that regardless of how I look big or small I can't please everyone so at the moment I just want to please myself.. just a little insight to the battle that i'm fighting within myself.. again I say I KNOW I'M NOT PERFECT.. but at the end of the day look in the mirror and ask yourself just how perfect you really are..

[devnet]

Who ever said you had to be perfect? Nobody here ever would, that's for sure. This community is not judgement-based, it is about supporting each other and living healthier lives.

That being said, while your current eating habits might help you lose weight short-term, I think you probably know yourself that it is not helping your health, and long-term will not aid your weigh-loss efforts. I'm not talking about wrong or right here, just about long term results. I hope you're able to develop eating habits that benefit not only your weight, but your health, that you can keep up with for life. I think that's what we're all looking for here, really.

Welcome to the community...hope you find what you're looking for.

[99rnthn]

Thank you for your response as well as your wisdom I know the risks honestly that's what always made me stop in the past I just feel like i've lost control this time hopefully the encouraging words of the healthy dieters about their success on this site will help me break this crazy cycle again

[mahtha]

Welcome, 99! So, what's your plan going forward? You know the risks of your current "diet" and you know it won't work long term, so it's time to work toward something you can stick with.

What are your pain points? Do you have trigger foods? Are there currently a group of foods that are particularly detrimental to your weight/overall health?

I'd suggest starting with one thing and working your way up. Give up fast food or junk food or soda or whatever. Once you feel like you've got that down, add another thing. Throw in some water, maybe a walk. You don't need to dive headlong into a strict "diet", but making some small changes and building on them will put you on a much healthier road.

Eventually you can choose to calorie count or try Weight Watchers, or Atkins, or any other program but you've got to get a few good habits under your belt to give yourself the confidence that you can do this.

As you can see from the multitude of posts on 3FC, it isn't easy and it isn't always fun, but you CAN succeed at this if you make some good choices and string together some good days.

I wish you success finding what path is right for you. Whatever it is, there's a group here to support you along the way.

[ilidawn]

Welcome! I know what its like weighing more than you look. I was in your shoes at 19
. I was 250 and as one ex put it "she eats so little even a supermodel would be jealous". Tons if bad things happened in my life and I wound up binging until I got up to 280!

I really want to congratulate you for choosing this site over Ana/mia ones (it really hard to choose health when those sites can be so seductive). This really is a nice place where you can find good support. Its a long road but worth it. Wishing you the best!

[99rnthn]

Thanks you guys I honestly can't help but smile when I come to this site :-) @Martha i've already pretty much given everything up ive been doing only a small amout of protein in the morning but most of the time I never let myself keep it down you then a protein shake in the evening followed by a small cup of yogurt if I get hungry before bed I'm also a waitress overnight so I get plenty of walking done as well as more walking or the gym a 7am when I get off quite naturally I've seen a major loss of weight over the past 2weeks(yes since the stress of life caused me to start this cycle again I honestly haven't stepped on the scale since the day I started i'm probably down about 10 lbs if not more it's just I have trouble knowing my weight unlike many me eating a certain food doesn't make me say uh oh I need to diet it's seeing the number on the scale and usually if I watch it while i'm dieting I get more and more strict with myself to be sure to lose 1lb daily. So I stick to watching my reflection rather than the scale!! I feel like I have all the right essentials to live a healthy lifestyle I just have to drop this current "diet" !!! @ilidawn glad to know i'm not alone :-) so many real people face the same issues i'm facing right now and knowing that gives me the hope and courage to push forward with my goals!!

[zoesmom]

99rnthn - welcome, welcome! I am happy you have decided to lose weight. The fellow diet suffer in me feels your pain and frustration, and has been where you are now. Mine wasn't by choice however, it was a result of a botched gallbladder surgery and I lost 60 pounds in 2 months. Then proceeded to gain 84 pounds of it back over the course of a year. The mom in me is worried about you if you are eating less than 200 calories a day. You've mentioned you know the risks, so I will not preach to you about those risks.

As for judging...I can't judge you sweetie. Lord knows my fat butt, who has tried every diet under the sun, can't point any fingers at anyone unless I point them at myself first, and I don't plan on doing that any time soon.

I can offer you support in your endaevours to lose weight, if you so desire it, regardless of whether or not I agree with your method. I have advice if you so desire, but you'll have to ask for it. Something tells me you don't really want it just handed out freely, you've had that enough, so if you don't ask, I won't give.

However, I will leave with you one thing that has been my salvation during my darkest times. Maybe it will help you like it helps me.


"I know you are not perfect,
Especailly in the eyes of many,
But mostly to yourself,
You see more flaws than any,
But open your eyes to see,
That all your imperfections,
Are what make you perfect to me."