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Old 03-04-2011, 02:49 AM   #1  
Go For Your Dreams!
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Unhappy I feel like I'll never lose this weight!I keep failing& nowfeel like whats the point?

I've attempted to stick to a diet plan 2 X's since the New Year and now this will be my 3rd time. I started Dec 31 and did great till Jan 16th, losing 10lbs but then messing up and gaining it back. Then attempting to re-start again on Jan 24th, joined a gym & for 2 weeks was getting up everyday at 7 am & hitting the gym for an hour & a 1/2, losing 11lbs, then I messed up again and gained it all back( i gain weight super fast always have my entire life) and now I went out and bought all the healthy foods I need, made a weight loss progress chart & bought a new food journal just to make sure I have all the tools i feel will help me be successful and to restart my journey once again tomorrow. The thing is I just can NOT shake this feeling of overwhelming failure! I just really feel I will never EVER lose this weight & am terrified of going into another summer of being fat and overweight. I told myself I REFUSE TO GO ANOTHER YEAR BEING BIG but at the rate im going it looks like I will be big once again for another year. I'm so terrified of being fat and unhappy the rest of my life, and yet I am still self sabotaging myself. WHy am i doing this??? Is there anyone out there that has accomplished their goals after messing up hundreds of times????

Thanks for reading my post and thanks so much if you decide to answer.
I just really need to hear some motivational words and success stories. I just feel so low and miserable and feel i will never accomplish this.

thanks for reading
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Old 03-04-2011, 02:58 AM   #2  
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Don't stress too much!! It's only March! There's no time like the present to start over and make it stick. I read somewhere that it takes about a month to get into a routine..this includes dieting, exercising, ext. It'll just take time
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Old 03-04-2011, 03:03 AM   #3  
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What matters is that you pick yourself up and keep trying. I've been trying to lose weight since I was 13 - 6 years ago - and it's only in the last year that I've managed to lose more than 5 pounds.

You say you slip up - what happens?
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Old 03-04-2011, 03:13 AM   #4  
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Aww, you can do it, you just need to get your ducks in a row. Maybe since you've started a few times, and it's not really working maybe you're doing too much too soon. Too many changes all at once are hard to follow. Maybe the first week you put your focus towards better nutrition. Then after a couple weeks start incorporating workouts and build your workouts up over time. I know that when a person makes the decision to lose weight and begin a more healthy/active lifestyle, they are so excited they start by giving 210%. And, after a couple weeks, you can't keep giving 210%.

The above is what I'm doing. I've started who knows how many diets and lifestyle changes. This time is different though. I'm not throwing myself in. I'm dipping my toe in the cold water first...then ease the rest of my body in. I started with 30 min workouts a couple times a week. Now after 5 weeks, I'm up to hour long workouts at the gym 5 days a week plus pilates and dog walking at home. The food is similar. I slowly started adding breakfast to my routine. Then I made them healthy breakfasts. Now I'm getting my daily serving of fruits just at breakfast alone. I have started doing the same with veggies...figuring out ways to get them in for snacks. Replacing empty cal lunches with nutritious salads. Slow and steady is winning my race!!
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Old 03-04-2011, 03:34 AM   #5  
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you can do it maybe the plan you are doing isn't the right fit for you, i can't imagine needing to break my diet, mostly bc i allow myself some freedom on it, if i eat chinese one night, so what, its life it happens..don't worry about the end result or omg i am going to be fat another year..maybe try small goals and rewards to help keep you motivated or something...something else that helps me a lot is going to the goal photo albums..wow!!!
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Old 03-04-2011, 05:40 AM   #6  
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i'm hearing all this focus on the all of nothing mentality. there has to be a middle. somewhere between i have to be perfect 24/7 and binging 24/7. i don't know what your middle is. some people have to schedule a day to eat less healthy foods. maybe the foods you are eating don't taste good/interesting to you, so you cheat. whatever the reason, you're being too extreme and too hard on yourself.

what i've learned is simple. i don't have to go out and buy a whole pantry of super foods that are really expensive. i get lots of basics. certain ones i know i'll have some left over after several weeks such as dried beans and frozen greens(spinach,collard greens,etc) super healthy? check. expensive? not at all.

you need to get into some mental hw to figure this out. something is bothering you? are you not planning enough? making meals/prep work ahead?

it sounds like your 'on plan' days are just so difficult you feel like you need a vacation after a few days. you say you go to the gym every morning. i told myself for years i needed the gym, but guess what? you don't have to have a gym.

make the exercise fun. take a belly dance class, spinning, a dvd at home you LOOK FORWARD TO DOING.

even better, sneak the exercise into your day. the old take the stairs, walk a little further. park further away...really does work. i've been maintaining for months now mostly just cleaning my house and using the stairs more often. think of ways you can sneak it into your day. butt clenches at each stoplight, i walk upstairs to hang clothes to air dry on the shower then have to put them back in the dryer later. saves money jeans and such take forever to dry, and i'm getting a little extra exercise. lunges/squats/calve raises while you brush your teeth, hair, shower, do dishes, walking lunges every time you walk down the hall...it all adds up. and the more muscle you have, the better.

make your meals absolutely delicious. think of what ethic food you LOVE, then make it fit your plan. almost anything less than healthy can be made with less rice, fat, increased protein etc to be healthier.
http://www.skinnytaste.com/2010/12/t...-for-2010.html
i haven't tried those recipes myself, but i've heard such great things. and the pictures are awesome! of course you would want to eat those right?

get rid of that cycle- feel bad,eat,feel guilty,restrict way too much, feel bad, eat again, feel guilty...see where this is going? anyone would balloon up on that method. it doesn't work. try listening to IOWL. inside out weight loss podcast. it's free and she's relaxing to listen to. make sure you do the mental hw, and take it slow only 1 or 2 sessions per week. rushing through won't get you the results you need.
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Old 03-04-2011, 05:46 AM   #7  
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and idk how many times i mess up. i'm sure it's been hundreds or thousands. i never chart it. i get back on the horse and do better at the next meal. as long as i don't over eat and eat really unhealthy all the time, i'm ok. i'll either maintain or gain a little.

it's also important to learn the scale fluctuations. saying that you gain weight really fast, faster than other people sounds like you are counting the weight 'gained' which is actually sodium or something. not fat. lots of us gain a few lbs after a so called bad meal. but it's not 7,000 calories of food we ate, it was just sodium. then it goes back down after a few days.
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Old 03-04-2011, 07:13 AM   #8  
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oh honey... i hear ya! i have been at this since last summer and lost like 15lbs really quickly, then the next 5-6lbs at snail pace over like three months cuz i would always "slip" and gain a bit back, then get back into it then slip again... even now, i'm in the same pattern, and since christmas, i've probably only lost like 3 real pounds. sometimes the whole thing just makes me wanna cry and give everything up. even tonight, i'm on TOM and feeling super bingey (and i binged on fruit and veggie and health food....) and wanted to make me some pancakes cuz i was thinking "well i've already eaten this much..." (about 1900 calories... not enough for a loss but ok for maintenance) and i just BARELY talked myself out of it, but i did, and it's a small victory.

the thing is, for girls like us that have terrible relationships with food, we have to take baby steps. and no matter how many times we "slip" we must get back up again... cuz maybe it wont take a year to shed all that weight, but what if it takes two? and then it stays off forever?

i mean, i understand how you feel. i keep resetting my 160 goal for myself... first it was valentine's day (fail), then it was graduation, but that's in 2 weeks and i'm now at 166 so i doubt that'll happen... but i am not giving up!! i will see that damn number sometime this year!!!

so do that. set mini-goals for yourself and strive with those for all your might. of course if you're like "i wanna lose 100lbs before summer!!" it'll never happen and then you'll be all depressed.

good luck with everything! hope you stick with it!
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Old 03-04-2011, 07:15 AM   #9  
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You don't fail a plan. The plan fails you. Write it out. Maybe we can help you see where it just wasn't sustainable/working. It doesn't have to be a total wash -- you can learn from it.


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Old 03-04-2011, 09:28 AM   #10  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by astrophe View Post
You don't fail a plan. The plan fails you. Write it out. Maybe we can help you see where it just wasn't sustainable/working. It doesn't have to be a total wash -- you can learn from it.


A.
I was going to say something like that, maybe your plan isn't working for you period and you need to find another solution to it, or find another plan which is best suited for you. This whole thing is a learning experience if you're expecting to go into this without any faults or mistakes...well you may as well give it up now. Or if you have the mentality of All or Nothing...you may as well again quit. (you're human NOT a machine.)

I mess up my diet all the time, **** I don't even follow a diet plan I eat what I like (healthy wise) and take a day to have a cheat meal during the week. (or sometimes more often than I like depending on cash flow) It's that simple (well not really it's a lot harder and you need tons of self control.) Maybe you're one of those people if you obsess over it you won't see any results. I know I am **** I went up in the scale when I was obsessing over this crap. My scale keeps moving up, but my inches keep droping I have no idea what the deal with that is.

Write out your plan (whether it's to us or yourself) see right in front of you where you're fault are and figure out why they are you're faults then figure out how to fix them. Whether it's taking something out, or adding something different in with the mix.

It's like when you do a workout DVD you can't do the full move so what do you do? You motify it, maybe you need to start making motifications to your diet.
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Old 03-04-2011, 11:29 AM   #11  
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Now i was feelin the same way as you are this week. My scale kept playing mind games with me. Everyday this week I kept going up and up and up! It really pissed me off. Today, however, i got on the scale and got a new low! Its amazing the things your body will do. It just doesnt want to get rid of the fat that its gotten use to all these years. You have to keep fighting with it though. Just wait till it gets use to the new, slimmer body! Now THATS what im waiting for!
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Old 03-04-2011, 01:45 PM   #12  
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I'm kind of in the same boat. I've been trying since the new year to get back on track, and I did great for a few weeks then I slipped up for over a month. I'm just getting myself back into the groove of things. Today I messed up and ate a bunch of things I shouldn't have but instead of just shrugging it off I decided to do something about it and I went for a second walk today. Now I'm tired but I feel good that I at least tried to work off some of it! I think the key is to not give up even when you mess up. No one's perfect, the only person who expects you to be is yourself
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Old 03-04-2011, 03:44 PM   #13  
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Losing weight isn't going to be about living a perfect plan, it's about sticking perfectly to a livable one.

I could have been the posterchild for All or Nothing - in addition to needing to start on the "right" day (I'll eat this chocolate cake now and start my diet on Monday!), or not being able to eat right this meal because such-and-such was happening this weekend so I would be eating off-plan ANYWAY, or Well, I've already eaten the damn candybar, might as well have this full rack of ribs for dinner, etc. It's taken me many years to wrap my head around the fact that all or nothing is NOT going to work for me - I'm human, i WILL mess up and give in and eat the stupid cookie if it's staring me in the face - but that doesn't mean I'm going to have to throw it all away and start from scratch. If you give in a little, fine, acknowledge it - accept it - ENJOY IT for what it is - but then get back on the wagon and keep moving forward.

I read this on one of the forums here a few days ago... it made such an impression on me that I've printed it out and stuck it on my fridge and on the wall right next to my scale so I won't get demoralized on my weigh-in days... maybe it'll put things in perspective and help out a little You CAN do this... it's not going to happen overnight, and you know that - you didn't put on the weight overnight did you? - so settle in for a while and realize it's a marathon, not a sprint. We're all in the same boat and will provide all the support you want and need.

Quote:
Hello! Do you know me? If you don't, you should. I am ONE POUND OF FAT, and I am the happiest pound of FAT that you would ever want to meet! Want to know why? It's because no one ever wants to lose me! After all, I am only ONE POUND OF FAT. Everyone wants to lose 3 or 5 or 15 pounds, but never ONLY one. So, I just stick around and happily make myself at home. Then I am free to add to myself, ever so slyly, so that you never seem to notice... That is, until I have grown to 10, 20 or even 30 pounds in weight... YES... it is fun being ONLY ONE POUND OF FAT... left to do just as I please.
So, when you weigh in, go ahead... just keep on saying, "Oh I only lost one pound." (As if that is so terrible.) For you see, if you do this, you will encourage others to hang around me because they will think that I am not worth losing. And I LOVE being around you... your arms, your legs, your chin, your hips, and every other part of you. HAPPY DAYS! After all, I am ONLY ONE POUND OF FAT!!!
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Old 03-06-2011, 11:07 PM   #14  
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THANKS SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH EVERYONE!!! YOU ALL WERE SO MUCH HELP!!!!!


Im getting back on track tomorrow and hopefully..no I WILL NOT fail again!! Thanks so much for all your kind words everyone, it really means alot
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Old 03-07-2011, 12:30 AM   #15  
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I'm going through the same issues. I can stay on plan for a few days and then I just slip lol in a big way. Now about a month ago I was on plan for an entire week and lost 7lbs. That was the best i've ever done. I just convinced myself that I had to have something fried and just like that I was off of plan. I feel like a drug addict most times.My eating sometimes just gets out of control and I just stoop so low to eat what I want Im trying to make major moves in my life in the next year and my weight is constantly holding me back! But I thank God everyday that if im blessed there's always tomorrow!
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