I've always been someone to dress in layers, but lately ive realized that it's not just because I'm cold.... I've been covering up my body so much that I feel inappropriate, bordering on naked, if I go out without a sweatshirt or other long sleeve shirt covering me. I feel the same way about shorts and skirts, but not capris... I forced myself to go into Walmart this morning in a t-shirt and jeans and felt awkward the whole time...
I know my need to cover up isn't so much a modesty issue, as it is one of habit from covering up my fat.... Anyone else in this boat? I'd like to know I'm not a freak, lol.
I was with like that with shorts, I still sorta am but I'm slowly trying to get over that, I've started with dresses that has slowly worked to get me comfortable with exposing my leg, it's possible to get there
Oh, yes, I am a hider for sure!!! When we got a warm spell early in the spring I had a panic attack... there was no way I could show myself without a coat, jacket, sweatshirt, hoodie, SOMETHING, the bigger and looser the better!
I haven't worn shorts in a few years and probably won't this summer. Capris are my saving grace there, and being short they're even longer on me. LOL I live in them in the warmer months.
When I started my weightloss this time I remember thinking about all of the things I have been hiding from.. the list is overwhelming.
but how I dress is definitely a biggie! Slowly but surely I have been coming around a little bit over the past few weeks, but there are days I still want to grab my comfy sweatshirt, even when it's 90 degrees, just to cover myself up!
Definitely! I also think that I get used to always wearing a jacket, sweater, or sweatshirt during the winter and spring, then when warm weather rolls around it feels like I am missing a basic part of my wardrobe (like not wearing a shirt!).
It's funny, but I can remember being a girl of around 11 or 12 and developing breasts. I was so self conscious, and I went around wearing a sweater even in the middle of the summer. I can remember people asking me if I wasn't hot in that sweater, and I always said no (much the way I would deny being hot in long heavy clothing when I was fat later in life). Finally, when I was around 13 or 14, and most of my friends had also gotten their "boobies," and I had gotten used to mine, I gave up the sweaters. I guess once you start feeling comfortable in your new skin, you won't give a thought to leaving the house in just a t-shirt either.
Most of the time I am the same way (with the exception of wearing my gym clothes and special occasions when I wear dresses) and wear layers a lot. I just feel somehow, I don't know... inappropriate in a t-shirt, tank top, shorts or a skirt!
It's weird, because I'm happy with my body, but I feel awkward still about wearing form fitting clothing or showing much skin. There is a very real feeling of being naked that I can't seem to get over!
I can relate to what you're saying and the solution to this is to gradually start wearing less layers of clothing and you will eventually feel comfortable with wearing shorts and a tshirt. I can understand this isn't something you can change overnight, it takes time, but your weight loss progress is amazing and you should be proud of yourself.
Yes :/ back in high school I NEVER took off my jacket or hoodie or sweaters because I felt fat and in really hot day when I'd get the guts to go in just an oversized shirt I felt awkward. That was 6 years ago but even now I'd rather wear a sweater or something to cover up my muffin top or big arms but if it's too hot I'm more comfortable just wearing a tshirt than I was back then. I have yet to conquer the fear of wearing just a tank top in public without wearing it under another shirt or sweater lol
I guess that's just not an issue I've ever really had... mostly because a lot of my family members/friends/people I know are bigger and when I would see them dress that way, it bothered me! I mean, that makes you look HUGE when in reality, you're not. Even at my heaviest, I didn't do it because I would look 30lbs. heavier! So, I've always tried to focus on dressing for my body shape and not to just cover up. And the thing is, it works. My close friends were shocked when I revealed my weight. And one of the comments that stuck out was, "I guess I just never noticed because you've always taken such good care of yourself!" And she was right. Even at my highest ever (nearly 230lbs.), I always got my hair done, wore my makeup, and dressed nicely. I just refused to look like a big blob covered from head to toe in shapeless clothes that instead of pointing out what was good, made everything look like it blended together.
What I'm saying is, you need to look at this from a new angle. You need to think about how YOU feel when you see other people dress the way you did. Do you envy those women (big or small) who dress and act with confidence? Do you notice those women who dress like you? Do you want to look/feel the way you perceive them to feel? If not, maybe you can start doing what some of the others suggested and slowly work your way out of it. Because you're not hiding behind those clothes, if anything, you're making it look worse that it really is!
I don't wear oversized sweatshirts/jackets but I do always have some sort of sweater, hoodie, something on, but an appropriate size. But like you said, I feel uncomfortable too if I'm not wearing a sweater or something of that sort! I feel naked somehow.. When I had managed to lose some weight 2 summers ago, I actually went out without a sweater or anything on because I felt way comfortable. But now I swear sweaters because I don't want my back fat rolls to show! ughhhhhh!
I always wear long sleeves even if it's boiling hot outside. I just hate my arms too much and I feel as if everyone is staring at them. I hope I'll fix my mindset this summer!
I guess that's just not an issue I've ever really had... mostly because a lot of my family members/friends/people I know are bigger and when I would see them dress that way, it bothered me! I mean, that makes you look HUGE when in reality, you're not. Even at my heaviest, I didn't do it because I would look 30lbs. heavier! So, I've always tried to focus on dressing for my body shape and not to just cover up. And the thing is, it works. My close friends were shocked when I revealed my weight. And one of the comments that stuck out was, "I guess I just never noticed because you've always taken such good care of yourself!" And she was right. Even at my highest ever (nearly 230lbs.), I always got my hair done, wore my makeup, and dressed nicely. I just refused to look like a big blob covered from head to toe in shapeless clothes that instead of pointing out what was good, made everything look like it blended together.
What I'm saying is, you need to look at this from a new angle. You need to think about how YOU feel when you see other people dress the way you did. Do you envy those women (big or small) who dress and act with confidence? Do you notice those women who dress like you? Do you want to look/feel the way you perceive them to feel? If not, maybe you can start doing what some of the others suggested and slowly work your way out of it. Because you're not hiding behind those clothes, if anything, you're making it look worse that it really is!
Just want to give a massive thumbs-up to this positive, thoughtful post.
I don't hide under clothes but I do hide behind purses/pillows/tableclothes when I'm sitting. I finding that the better I feel about myself, regardless of my weight, the likelier I am to forgo the lap covering. Good luck getting there, OP!
I'm okay in tee shirts, but shorts might never happen. Maybe if the shorts were below the knee, they'd be okay, but otherwise I feel so self-concious I don't think I could leave the house.
I consider the "big cover up" nearly every day. Then I opt against it. I figure, why be fat AND sweaty????
But in all seriousness, sure, I used to try to "cover" the fat under layers & bigger-than-my-size clothes. Even now, nearly 40 lb down, I still think "I wish every t-shirt, blouse, sweater, etc were 3/4 sleeves!!!!!" (hate my upper arms!) and often I think "wow, I really SHOULD cover up those chubby/wrinkly knees..." and yet, most days I'm wearing skorts/shorts & tank tops. Ahhhh, the freedom.
And yet...see, the older I get, the less I truly worry or think about it. I think I'm finally coming to the conclusion that a HUMAN BODY does NOT remain the same. EVER. It is in constant changes, ESPECIALLY for women! - The weight, hair, puberty, pregnancy, menopause ... and of course, attitude. So some days I do feel like I should "cover it all up"... but most days I think "Why bother? I AM WHO I AM & I AM MORE THAN MY BODY!"
Last edited by Beach Patrol; 06-01-2012 at 10:28 AM.
I love cardigans. They save everything. And really, one can pull off shorts if they aren't too tight around the thigh area. I think it's all about finding clothes that fit... most often, women look really bad if they try to squeeze into two-sizes-too-small articles that end up pushing out fat. So a nice, breezy tee paired with slightly loose shorts can look really nice!
Sometimes though it just feels awesome to throw on my boyfriend's shirt and tights and forget about everything. I do it all the time.
Covering up....
