My friend's baby shower was this past weekend and her mother sent me the pictures. Ouch. Why can't I look at those pictures and think of how much fun I had instead of how fat I look? For those of us who have figured it out, when was your turning point? When did you stop with the negativity and start loving yourself for whatever size you are? Sorry for a deep question on a Friday! Happy weekend to all!
For me, truly loving myself means understanding that I have a serious problem with food and that loving myself means taking care of myself and facing that problem head on. While I try not to belittle myself about things that I am in the process of changing, it is difficult.
I think you have to realize that there is more to you than your outer appearance. There are so many qualities that make you who you are. Embrace and appreciate those qualities. Nobody's perfect. We all have room for improvement.
I think loving yourself means learning the difference between body-image and self-image. YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR WEIGHT. You can love yourself without having to love your fat. It's OK to hate being fat. Anyone trying to lose weight is obviously not in love with their fat. But YOUR BODY is also much more than your weight! - Even when fat, your knees bend, your eyes see, your ears hear, your fingers touch. The body is an amazing machine. It's amazing to see what it can do, especially when you push it beyond what you think is its limits.
YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR WEIGHT.
I have dreams! I am compassionate and flirty, I'm goofy and serious. I have a sense of humor, career goals, family goals. I'm interested in things... arts, politics, entertainment, religion, etc. I love my husband and my pets & my home, which I've spent hoursssss painstakingly decorating to show my eclectic tastes. I enjoy music; reading; TV, playing board games. I enjoy sitting on the beach, walking on the beach, spending time with friends, looking at old family photo albums. I'm an advocate for animals & the environment. I walk my dogs & pick up trash along the way!
I love driving my Mustang with the top down! Going out on the boat with my friends on lazy summer Sunday afternoons. Shopping the thrift stores & getting all excited when I finally find something I've been looking for FOREVER & there it is! - and only $2.99??? WHAT A BARGAIN, WOO HOO!!
I am interested in hundreds upon thousands of things! - therefore I am interesting. OH YES! - there is much more to me than my weight. AND THAT'S WHAT LOVING YOURSELF IS ALL ABOUT.
To me I think "I accept the state of my body, and the way it it was before. I just don't want it to be that way forever"
To me, loving myself is taking care of myself-mentally and physically. Yes, I am being vain by wanting to be thinner as well as more healthy, but I am doing it in a healthy way, because I do care about the state of my health. If I am not my #1 priority, then I am nobody's #1. Gotta take care of myself because nobody knows me or my wants/needs like I know myself.
Ho-ly cow. Incredible support alert! You guys are amazing, thank you! I've been working on this part about myself for as long as I can remember and it's been such a struggle. I mean, heck, I grew a human in 2010 and even that didn't convince me. You'd think after that I'd feel like my body could move mountains, but nope. Not quite there. Hopefully it will come with time.
Twice a day I look myself in the mirror and tell myself (out loud) that I'm awesome. It feels kind of silly at first, but it really does help out SO MUCH with the negative self-talk.
it's not something you learn - it's something you decide.
you can decide to feel good about yourself AS A PERSON (and then it's so much easier to decide to be good to that person) or you can decide to feel negative (and then it's so much easier to be self-destructive).
as with everything in life, it's a choice.
we have all decided we were in love with someone who subsequently turned out not to be worth it - what's so bad about deciding to fall in love with the one person who will always be there for us no matter where we are?
I dont know how you can accept your fatness personally... For me.. i wasnt always fat.. I know what i look like when i was thin and lean and trim and beautiful..I personally can never accept myself at how big i am now..Never...its not me..I know this is not the body im supposed to be in.. I know that im supposed to be much smaller and my choices through life have obviously changed that..and so i must do something about it in order to get back to the person i was before..As sad as it is..i just got married and i cant bear to look at my wedding photos of me in it...I know im not supposed to be this fat..and i i dont ever want to accept myself as this.. I could never love myself in this size..its not me.
I dont know how you can accept your fatness personally... For me.. i wasnt always fat.. I know what i look like when i was thin and lean and trim and beautiful..I personally can never accept myself at how big i am now..Never...its not me..I know this is not the body im supposed to be in.. I know that im supposed to be much smaller and my choices through life have obviously changed that..and so i must do something about it in order to get back to the person i was before..As sad as it is..i just got married and i cant bear to look at my wedding photos of me in it...I know im not supposed to be this fat..and i i dont ever want to accept myself as this.. I could never love myself in this size..its not me.
To me, I accept that it is what I am right now. its what I see in the mirror. It "is what it is" Doesnt mean I don't want to change it-to want to change something about me means that there is something that needs to be changed. To me, acceptance of what I am currently is the first step to changing-its a selfawareness. Its not wanting to be this way forever. Kind of like how I accept my emotional overeating and then I try to make it better. I can hate the way I look and hate what I have done to get there but I don't have to hate myself as a person to change my ways and lose. I am losing weight because I do love myself. Accepting the way I am not is different from accepting that its not worth it to try and change that.
For me it finally hit when my health was in terrible decline. I realized, "I'm all I have" and because I'm a mother, "I'm the only mom my kids have." What in the heck would happen to my then 5 year old son if his mom died of a heart attack because I didn't care enough about myself to take care of myself? And we never really think something can happen to us so young. Well, it does. My dad died of a heart attack at the age of 42 - he was thinnish, but a heavy smoker and had a lifelong HORRIBLE fatty diet with no fitness.
And that was it - I get one shot at this. This is the only body I'm going to get. The only years I'm going to get. I used to think that dieting was not enjoying life if you couldn't eat what you want. Well, I wasn't living... I felt like crap. I looked like crap. How was that living?
Now I am healthy. I feel alive. I feel good. Do I skip the cake and cookies? most of the time, but it's not like I NEVER have things things and when I do have them? They are all that more special as they are truly a treat versus part of my daily diet.
Last edited by berryblondeboys; 04-06-2012 at 04:35 PM.
You do have to try to remember the fun and not the fat. I never saw myself as heavy. Duh! In my mind's eye, I'm still 23 and 145 pounds. What is harder for me is my age! LOL
But, seriously, there is way more to any of us than our size. Just tell yourself every day that you're making healthy changes because you and the people you love deserve to have you healthy. It takes time, but you'll believe it soon enough. Then the fat pics won't even matter. you won't even care if people see them, and you won't feel like taking them down from FB. I actually didn't put a lot of pics on FB until I lost weight, then I put up ones from Christmas and family gatherings from the past that were not flattering because it didn't matter anymore.
How do you learn to love yourself?
Happy weekend to all!
I think you have to realize that there is more to you than your outer appearance. There are so many qualities that make you who you are. Embrace and appreciate those qualities. Nobody's perfect. We all have room for improvement.
