I'm tired of some people acting like fat people are handicapped. And I don't mean to poke fun at you if you are indeed handicapped because of weight issues. Everyone is different, and we all got our own problems so I'm not one to judge. I've had several people feel bad for me just because I'm on the heavier side of the spectrum. Like why would you even feel bad for me? I don't need your pity. I'm Asian and I would have all kinds of people poke fun at me when I go back to my country for being fat. At my height, people in my country are usually like 100-110 pounds, while I'm over here at 160 pounds. And it's not one of those things where people just stare, they straight up yell out "omg she's huge" as I walk past them. It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to go back to my country anymore. I hate that the weight issue is brought up so often in my family and even more when I go back to my country- from strangers. Whenever my parents introduce me to their friends, it's the typical "this is my youngest daughter. youngest, but biggest!"
I hate not being able to donate blood anymore because of my increasing high blood pressure, the more weight I put on. I hate that I have difficulty breathing after taking a few steps or after eating a meal. I hate not being able to wear what I want. Honestly at this point, I'm just so sick of being overweight. Why is the world we live in so superficial? I always thought the inside was what mattered, but for the past few years, I'm led to believe that physical appearance is more important.
Ugh, sorry I just had to vent. I want to go back to my country so bad to visit my relatives, but my weight is making me so self-conscious that I decided not to go after all, and I just need to let it out. I'm so pissed at myself for letting my weight obstruct my views in life.
Someone slap me in the face with a bit of reality here.
Here's reality from my perspective, given (please understand) a completely different culture and set of experiences.
You're not fat. At 154 lbs, you're a touch overweight for your height - if we're going by BMI standards (which are of questionable utility as a metric, as body composition is totally ignored by that scale). Just a touch.
We are the same height, and I felt AMAZING at 154 lbs. Granted I was coming from a very high weight, and so felt a dramatic difference by comparison. But I was fit and, I believe, perfectly HEALTHY at that weight. Despite still being a few pounds overweight, I think there are few US doctors who would have told me I needed to lose more. YMMV of course, and I'd have the blood pressure issue checked out by a doctor - it may not be related to your weight, or only partially so, but getting a handle on it would be good regardless.
I can't tell you how you should feel, and I certainly won't downplay what you ARE feeling. I will say though that the standards by which your weight is being judged by others seem tremendously harsh to me.
Finally, in working to lose weight, I would urge you to do it for YOU, not to please others or achieve some standard that might be difficult or impossible or miserable to maintain. Do it for your own happiness, for your own satisfaction, because it makes you feel good physically and emotionally. I know that is easier to say than it is to feel.
I can totally relate to this since I'm Asian myself. I grew up in Taiwan and it was definitely tough being bigger than everyone. They also don't hide their disdain either and will feel free to comment (stranger or NOT). They also love shoving advice that only makes me feel worse. I avoided going back for years when I was genuinely obese.
Even though I'm within a healthy BMI now, I still feel huge whenever I go back to Asia because the under 30 crowd is mostly very thin. I remind myself that I'd rather be healthy and fit and get thin MY way. Deprivation diets do not work which is what's advocated over there.
I totally get what you mean! I went back to my home country 3 years ago when I was under my goal weight and still got FAT comments because normal weight here is still fat there! Underweight is their normal.... I had to laugh because when shopping, I had to buy everything in Large even though I was a 'mere' 120lbs.
Now I'm 10lbs over that weight and heading back in 3 months. Dreading the inevitable comments once again.
Seriously, an auntie who had just been introduced to me for the 1st time (since I was 3yrs old) said directly, "She's really fat, huh?"
Culturally, and in comparison, Americans are much fatter than Asians. In fact, obesity statistics show America as the fattest country, followed by Mexico & the U.K.
But those kinds of comments are prevalent in ALL societies. Americans, tho the fattest country, still seem to corner the market on "bad behavior" toward fat people. Maybe it's our freedom of speech? -I dunno.
I'm sorry you have to endure the judgment & comments. But just know that you ARE losing weight & you ARE getting healthier & you're doing it FOR YOU - not them, not your family, friends, certainly not for strangers. You're doing what you need to do FOR YOU.
I agree that you are a little overweight but certainly not something that would turn heads in the US.
My suggestion is to lose weight to improve your health and when you do that , looking better and wearing smaller sizes is a bonus.
Evidently in your country it is a cultural thing to be rude to people and insult them. Try and ignore them . I know that can be difficult but you know that you can and will lose the weight. Good luck.
I wonder if part of this too is a difference in body structure? I would *guess* that you might have a smaller frame? If so you might feel larger than another person with a larger frame at the same weight. In reality, you're not that overweight in terms of BMI but it depends a lot too on how active you are, what your body structure is and your muscle mass.
Someone coming down from a higher weight (especially if it is done with healthy eating and lots of exercise-especially weight lifting) is going to look different than someone who is sedentary with not the best eating habits at the same weight. I've shown pictures of myself at the same weight before/after weight lifting and the difference is quite dramatic.
As to the OP. I can relate. We live in Brazil and standards for health/beauty are different. I was told that I was "really big" when I was 15lbs overweight and I had already lost over 50lbs. The doctor refused to acknowledge my previous loss and it was like none of that matter unless I go to HIS ideal of thin. My husband has also been made fun of often here because of his weight when he was at his highest by complete strangers. Something that never happened when we lived in the states.
The best I can tell you is that if you want to change, change for YOU. Do it for your health and forget the rest. Most likely your parents don't have any clue what affect their words have on you (DH's family have said similar things even though I know they love him very much) and culturally it's accepted to say such things because the consequences of those words aren't fully understood. It really is unfortunate and I wish I could change it but it's something that would take a huge upheaval of society to do so.
Ultimately, changes in a person's lifestyle can only come from within if you want them to be permanent. I'm a strong advocate for exercise and weight lifting (for example) can radically change your body shape even if it doesn't change your actual weight.
As for visiting. I don't know what to tell you. DH has a thick skin so the comments roll off of him. If you do decide to visit try to prepare yourself for what may come. You can't change what others say but you can change how you deal with them.
People judged me even after I lost weight, the same people who criticized me for being overweight in the first place. I don;t know, I've been judged my whole life, for my ethncity, being poor in a pretty rich town. I can't really compare what things about me are more picked on than others-its all messed up, but I can only control how I react. Its important to speak up for yourself, but beyond that if a person is a jerk, I can't change that, so I just speak up, talk out my frusterations and keep doing what I am doing. It helps me be more sensitive-like I can tell when others are bullying other people, or saying things that come out a lot harsher than they mean. It makes me a lot more self aware of what I say.
I am Chinese american, and yes our families can be HARSH and cruel and it comes to weight, I think thats why so many people watch their weight LOL. By the time I get to goal weight, I will have to stay with my family in Hong Kong, dreading that "you were so fat before, you look OK now" gee thanks yes I guess I was a big monster before. But then I realize that they are trapped in that mentality-they are just as critical of themselves if they gain like 1 lb, and they have to live with themselves. meanwhile, I get to be healthier and not hate myself. Their mean comments-thats their issue. I think I'm better off.
I just know that I will stop that cycle with my fam, if I have kids, or nieces/nephews I refuse to treat them that way.
I wonder if part of this too is a difference in body structure? I would *guess* that you might have a smaller frame? If so you might feel larger than another person with a larger frame at the same weight. In reality, you're not that overweight in terms of BMI but it depends a lot too on how active you are, what your body structure is and your muscle mass.
Someone coming down from a higher weight (especially if it is done with healthy eating and lots of exercise-especially weight lifting) is going to look different than someone who is sedentary with not the best eating habits at the same weight. I've shown pictures of myself at the same weight before/after weight lifting and the difference is quite dramatic.
As to the OP. I can relate. We live in Brazil and standards for health/beauty are different. I was told that I was "really big" when I was 15lbs overweight and I had already lost over 50lbs. The doctor refused to acknowledge my previous loss and it was like none of that matter unless I go to HIS ideal of thin. My husband has also been made fun of often here because of his weight when he was at his highest by complete strangers. Something that never happened when we lived in the states.
The best I can tell you is that if you want to change, change for YOU. Do it for your health and forget the rest. Most likely your parents don't have any clue what affect their words have on you (DH's family have said similar things even though I know they love him very much) and culturally it's accepted to say such things because the consequences of those words aren't fully understood. It really is unfortunate and I wish I could change it but it's something that would take a huge upheaval of society to do so.
Ultimately, changes in a person's lifestyle can only come from within if you want them to be permanent. I'm a strong advocate for exercise and weight lifting (for example) can radically change your body shape even if it doesn't change your actual weight.
As for visiting. I don't know what to tell you. DH has a thick skin so the comments roll off of him. If you do decide to visit try to prepare yourself for what may come. You can't change what others say but you can change how you deal with them.
I saw some British show where they sent an overweight girl to a poor town in Argentina where the obesity population was high and then they sent her to hang out in a rich party and the people were so thin. I live in NYC, been to Hong Kong, I see thin people but I understood why she said that it was the first time where she felt self conscious or something. Its just this vibe.
Also, OP-about the body frame, that could be very true. The asian women in my fam are around 100-110 lbs, tend to be very "skinny fat"-low ewight, small bone structure, but high fat. Not sure if its genetics or not, but I'm curious to see if I'll look diff at my goal weight since I am starting to do strength training haha.
Asian people are considered overweight by BMI standard at BMI 22 or 23, not 25 like us caucasian ! Just so you all know.
Quote:
Japanese definition
Normal
from 18.5 to 22.9
Overweight
from 23.0 to 24.9
Obese
25.0 and above
Singapore
In Singapore, the BMI cut-off figures were revised in 2005, motivated by studies showing that many Asian populations, including Singaporeans, have higher proportion of body fat and increased risk for cardiovascular diseases and diabetes mellitus, compared with Caucasians at the same BMI. The BMI cut-offs are presented with an emphasis on health risk rather than weight.
27.5 and above
High risk of developing heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, diabetes
23.0 to 27.4
Moderate risk of developing heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, diabetes
18.5 to 22.9
Low Risk (healthy range)
18.4 and below
Risk of developing problems such as nutritional deficiency and osteoporosis
Sorry for complaining. I almost feel bad complaining about being overweight when there are people here that has it worse. And most certainly it's just when I'm in my country or when Asian people are around that I feel this crappy 'cus everyone is so tiny. I was on halt for a few days because I felt a little iffy, but I'm back and more motivated than ever!
I can relate to this even being fair skinned and living in America. I married into an Asian family which automatically makes me the lowest man on the totem pole. My mother in law makes insulting comments about my weight and so does her mother. Sad really, but that is thier culture.
I'm sorry people are so blunt and rude to you, it's a tough world out there when the "before" weight loss pictures are 130 lbs. I'm adopted Korean, grew up here with a "corn fed" diet, and my "before" weight was about the same as yours - 155-160 lbs. It's my weight that if I just eat whatever I want whenever I want, my body settles there.
What is your lifestyle like? I managed to lose about 25 lbs without trying too hard. I obviously had to watch portion sizes and become more active, but I tried all kinds of new foods and cooked more and decided to try scary things like jogging for exercise, and the pounds started falling off.
I still feel fat around Asian people, but I feel a LOT better than I did before. Baby steps will add up and result in visible loss.
If you are overweight, you know it opens up the potential for bringing all sorts problems into your life, both physical and emotional. Things like getting made fun of and embarrassed by your friends and maybe your coworkers even when they don't realise that it hurts. You get so tired of being called "fat" and so sick of other people acting like they are better than you just because they are skinnier than you are. Furthermore, when you are overweight, it seems that people have a disrespectful attitude towards you and intentionally try to avoid you and keep themselves from being associated with you--especially men. It almost seems like you have the plague at times.
But there is an even bigger problem. The extra body weight brings constant fatigue and tiredness and it makes you prone to all sorts of diseases. This is basically the reason why I decided to really lose weight. And no offense, but if you really want to feel better, you should do so too. However, you should remember that losing weight can really be a struggle. But reaching your weight loss goals will give you an awesome sense of accomplishment. And, this will be the greatest revenge you can do to those people who are putting you down. Focus on the positive!
Sick of being overweight and people judging me...
I had to laugh because when shopping, I had to buy everything in Large even though I was a 'mere' 120lbs. 
My husband has also been made fun of often here because of his weight when he was at his highest by complete strangers. Something that never happened when we lived in the states. 
