I am so pissed about today and tomorrow. My mother just HAD to bring home fried chicken for lunch; I was going to have a turkey burger that was leftover from my dinner last night but my dad ate it (*grumble*), and at this point I was starving and didn't feel like cooking so I ate one breast, a little bit of Cole slaw, and a cup of fresh fruit. Not too terrible, right?
Well, tomorrow, it's time for Sunday dinner at my grandma's, and guess what she's having? Fried chicken again. I know there won't be an alternative, plus there will be dessert, amongst other unhealthy dishes because my grandma cooks the old-timey Southern way -- full fat and grease! I know I won't be the only one affected by this; my uncle is trying to lose weight as well and I totally feel for him when it comes to these situations. How can I get around my grandma's delicious yet totally unhealthy cooking? I don't want to offend her by not eating her food, but I don't want to sabotage my diet either.
You know your grandmother best - what do you think might work? Eating the chicken but not the skin? Bringing a dish? Talking to her ahead of time about you and your uncle and trying to get healthy? Sometimes phrasing it as "my doctor said" makes it easier for people to take.
I can only say what works for me......So here goes.....
I recently learned that the world does not stop when I am on a diet and that the only person who suffers if I can't figure out how to adjust is me.
First let me say congrats on not eating the whole bucket
Sometimes even the best intentions get sabotaged its how we adapt that matters.
I would say go to the dinner and take a breast piece. Take the skin off and go for the healthiest side there is. If there is a salad than pile it on your plate or fruit or whatever is available. I know it is hard to explain why you aren't eating certain parts sometimes so as childish as it seems push it under something else on your plate.
A little deviation from what you would make as a healthy dinner will not be your downfall.
As long as you don't eat the skin or the breading you're basically just eating chicken. As long as its cooked right, you really shouldn't get any additional fat from the grease. The oil is really only absorbed by the breading. Try to stay away from the fattier dark meat and stick with a breast if you can.
Can you bring a side? Like a veggie plate or something? That way you could fill up on chicken and veggies. Maybe take a few tiny portions of the other things, so Grandmas feeling don't get hurt, and you should be good.
Good luck!
I used to get mad at people in situations like this, but I eventually realized that I was using the anger as an excuse to binge and blame someone else for it.
I also realized that it's sort of an unspoken dieting tradition to feel anger, deprivation, and resentment when others don't make our job easier (and yet it's also tradition to feel the same feelings if someone tries "too hard" to help - because then we call them overly controlling food cops).
I know different families have different traditions, but in my family, it wouldn't be seen as rude or odd for someone (me) to bring a dish to pass that everyone can enjoy, but which I know is healthy for me in case not much is (and as JohnP suggested I take small servings of the foods that are offered).
My standby healthy bring-along dish is a vegetable salad that's very simple to make. A bag or two of frozen mixed veggies (I love the asparagus stir fry blend I can find at IGA and Walmart stores), and a light vinaigrette dressing (bottled or homemade) (I might add other veggies if I want to make it fancy, too like artichoke hearts, onion, bell pepper, cherry peppers or hot pepper rings...). I usually make it the night before, so that I can mix it together while the veggies are still frozen, and by the next day the veggies have thawed.
I don't tell anyone it's healthy unless they ask. It's become so popular with family and friends, that I'm often asked to bring "that vegetable salad you make."
I have a couple light dessert recipes that are as popular. The simplest is simply fat free or low-fat greek yogurt mixed with sugar free pudding mix (just stir the dry mix into the yogurt). I just substitute the yogurt for the milk (so instead of 2 cups of milk, I use 2 cups of greek yogurt for a small package. Or I stir two small packages or one large package of sugar free pudding ix into a quart of greek yogurt). Depending on how tart the yogurt is, you may want to add a little more low-calorie sweetener (I use Splenda or xylitol). I've never had to add sweetener with the jello brand puddings, but some of the store brands aren't as sweet. The jello brand pistachio is my favorite, followed by the chocolate fudge.
It's sort of like cheesecake without a crust. Again I don't call it diet, but do warn that it's sugar free (since many people don't like or can't tolerate artificial sweeteners).
I make and bring enough to share, because bringing my own food (and just enough for me) would be seen as rude among my friends and family, but bringing an extra dish or dessert or two to pass wouldn't be considered rude.
One thing that I do not do (because it does make people uncomfortable) is talk about my dieting at the table. If I don't take one of the foods being passed, or only take a teeny portion, I I don't mention that it's because I'm dieting. Just as I wouldn't mention if it's because I don't like a dish. If someone asks, I say "that's all I want right now."
It doesn't have to be a big deal, and you don't have to be angry, you just have to find ways to adapt. Either eating smaller amounts of what is offered, or bringing a dish to pass that you've made, so you know what's in it.
I feel for you! I live with my dear grandmother and I am subject to her non stop cooking and baking. It's so delicious! But what I do on a daily basis is just to have food around that I have dubbed "my food" that is healthy and diet friendly. However, it becomes more difficult when there is a family get together like in your case. For these, I simply eat something that is healthy and fills me up beforehand, and then eat whatever is the healthiest out of the meal that she cooks when I'm with the family. If she is going to cook southern food (my fav :/) then like John said take the skin off and enjoy. I'm sure she will have some kind of vegetable (probably with a lot of butter) so just eat some of that.
If all else fails and there is absolutely nothing you can eat there without feeling guilty afterwards, simply talk to your grandmother. My grandmother is always so accommodating since I have talked with her about trying to lose weight. Maybe she can save you some of the veggies without the butter, or not fry one piece of chicken for you and bake it instead. Team up with your uncle and sit next to him so you don't feel like the only one.
Toss the skin, drink a nice full glass of water before, and choose more veggies.
I don't expect others to buckle down with me, nor do I preach about eating 'better' in front of non-dieters.
I just try to lead bee example, and when they see you making healthy choices, perhaps something will click, and they'll join you ^_^
@kaplods that greek yogurt/pudding thing sounds amazing! Thanks!
If there isn't a salad, bring one enough to share. As to dessert, make and bring something, even if it is just sugar free pudding, or buy a box of low fat/low sugar something or other.
Last edited by 124chicksinger; 02-25-2012 at 09:09 PM.
<<I know it is hard to explain why you aren't eating certain parts sometimes so as childish as it seems push it under something else on your plate. >>
Am I the only one who thinks no explanation is required? If you just put a chicken breast and salad on your plate, it's your business, isn't it? If your grandma or anyone else asks why you're not eating the mashed potatoes, you can simply say, "It looks delicious, but I'm watching my weight right now." If she asks again, rinse and repeat.
Dieting around non-dieters
