[eilla05]

About 2 weeks ago a friend decided to join the gym I have been going to about a month and try to lose weight and asked if I would work out with her and help her learn about making better choices with her food and what I have done in the past and currently to lose weight.

So I agreed to meet her 3x per week at the gym and then I would go 2x per week alone and I used a notebook and wrote down some stuff for her including a sample page on how I wrote down and tracked my calories. She seemed enthusiastic and things were good.

The first 2x we met was great. But for 3x in a row now she has been late and by late I mean 20-30 minutes late. The first time I went and ran an errand and the 2nd and 3rd time i just started my cardio. We decided to do c25k together so her being late messes things up with the program because after I have been walking for 20-30minutes I really don't feel like running although I have done it 2x now and I swear I burned serious calories!

So my question is how would you handle this? I enjoy working out with someone yet at the same time I hate someone who is late like seriously it is my pet peeve. It makes it worse that I wait to go to the gym at 10 just to meet her otherwise I would be there much earlier. So what would you do?

[Lovely]

I'd 100% bring it up to her. And I wouldn't wait any longer.

I'd say something to the effect of "I love working out with you, but I can't put my schedule on hold. If you're there at 10 we can workout together, but if not I have things to do and I'll have to start my workout so I can go about my day. I know you understand."

Then stick to it. Don't put your time on hold. If she's there at 10, perfect. If not, then she'll be running a couple minutes behind, but that's not your problem.

[JennaR]

I would also talk to her about it.

Maybe they were just isolated issues and she'll be on time from here on out. But, I would still say something to the effect of "if you're going to be late, that's fine. But, I'm going to start my workout regardless"

I wouldn't wait for her to show up. I'd just start and let her join in once she gets there.

[eilla05]

Yeah I pretty much decided I was going to just keep starting without her and on Monday if she is late again I am going to say something to her and stop my workout when I normally would instead of continuing to walk with her. Was just hoping this time it would be different! I have had a workout buddy in the past and the same thing happened! Drives me crazy I swear because I am always always on time and I want to be late a few times just to show them how it feels although if they think it is okay to be late I doubt they would care much.

[sontaikle]

You can't rely on others when it comes to this lifestyle change. You have to do it on your own. I'm glad to see you aren't letting a flaky workout partner get you down!

I've had so many people flake out on me that I don't even try to have a workout partner anymore. I find I prefer to work out either in my group fitness classes or on my own.

I understand how you feel about your partner being late. I'm a punctual person and it drives me CRAZY when people are late! So I'll just start without people or leave without them, etc. I've gone to restaurants and had people arrive a half hour late or more...so I'll sit down and order and say to them "so glad you could join us for the meal! " when they arrive. I'm evil like that. I'd probably say something sarcastically like that to a person who was chronically late to workouts too

Hey, your time is valuable!

[JennaR]

Originally Posted by eilla05

Yeah I pretty much decided I was going to just keep starting without her and on Monday if she is late again I am going to say something to her and stop my workout when I normally would instead of continuing to walk with her. Was just hoping this time it would be different! I have had a workout buddy in the past and the same thing happened! Drives me crazy I swear because I am always always on time and I want to be late a few times just to show them how it feels although if they think it is okay to be late I doubt they would care much.

I'm always on time and it irritates me like you wouldn't believe when people are late when we've arranged an outing or whatever.

I work with kids by appointment and sometimes parents think that it's okay to show up 30 minutes late to pick up their kid because "they're in good hands"... urks me like you wouldn't believe ..

Hopefully if you tell her she'll step up and be on time. But, from my experience, people who are late are perpetually late!

[LAgreeneyes]

I would definitely talk to her about it. She is "unknowingly" sabotaging your road to healthy living. If it were me, I would tell her that she can just catch up with me whenever she gets there but that I would begin my workout "routine" at the designated time.

[EagleRiverDee]

I agree that you need to bring this up pronto. She is not respecting your time, and she's not respecting you. This is a huge hot button for me personally, and I will actually stop making plans with people if they have a habit of showing up late. I am on time, all the time, and I expect people to arrive on time as well. Once or twice I won't gripe about because things can happen but when I start seeing a pattern it upsets me. Perhaps compromise by allowing her to pick the time and location, and even text her a reminder (giving her the opportunity to state if she will be late that day), but if she still can't show up in a timely fashion I'd tell her I can't commit to working out with her any longer. Or you can just start your workout on time and leave when you planned to, even if it means leaving her at the gym.