On the Edge of Insanity, Looking over the Cliff...Help Me! :(
Hi,
I have no idea if i am doing this correctly. I've never been a part of a forum before. I am new to 3FC and hope to find some support here. I weigh somewhere between 300-320lbs. Pretty disgusting, huh? Well, I didn't get this way shoveling lard in my face. I've never drank soda, barely drnk juice and consume tons of fresh water. I was a thin child, but the weight shot to 160 by age 12. No rhyme or reason. I am 5'5" and shapely, so 160lbs was a size 9/10 on me. My goal weight is 145 (size 6). At age 18 when my then boyfriend and I became sexually active, I tried depo provera and blew up 60-70lbs in 9months!! By age 19 I was a terrible 230lbs! I tried EVERYTHING to lose the weight!! I mean, I ate healthy (I am a holistic specialist, so I know a lot about health), I have ALWAYS been VERY active. My jobs were always physically abusive, so my body never had a chance to become lazy. At over 200lbs I could easily run up 4 flights of stairs and was a size 18. Well, then I became pregnant. My pregnancy caused me a lot of physical damage to my body, so even now, I experience waaay too much chronic pain to exercise. I shot up another 70lbs while pregnant. Partly due to my new physical disabilities and partly due to losing my job and no longer being able to afford healthy foods. My child's father abandoned us while I was pregnant and disabled, so No, I do not have his help in ANY way. I breastfeed my 1yr old and every dime I get goes to taking care of him. How am I supposed to lose 150lbs if I am unable to exercise???? My self-esteem is lower than dirt. I cannot afford clothes or do have my hair done. I hate always being in pain. The surgeries that I need have a somewhat long recovery period and as a solo mom, I have been unable to acquire them. I would ALSO like to see about getting the Lap-Band! Seems promising! Well, now that I weigh over 300lbs I no longer seem to care what I eat. It doesn't make a difference. If I eat pure salad or a pint of ice cream my weight will not change. I did not lose a pound breastfeeding and that is suppose to help! I have ALWAYS had the hardest time losing weight. Both of my parents struggle with their weight as well. I am at a loss for options. I am very very depressed, I am SEVERELY sleep deprived due to my baby and very frustrated with life.
Please, if anyone cares about the rejected, abandoned, ugly, obese, disabled single mom then i'd really appreciate your kind words.
Sincerely,
CaliforniaSunshine
Oh, I am so sorry to hear about your struggles with weight and everything else. Yes, there are people who care about you!
A friend of mine dealt with the same weight issues (not losing despite what and how much/little she ate). She had her thyroid checked, it was way off, got on medication, and has lost a lot of weight. It's a thought.
Best of luck to you, and let me know when you need support.
Goodness! You are under a lot of stress and have had a lot happen in such a young period of time.
Absolutely start with a physical! Get the blood work done, figure out what you are working with. I have heard depo really can pack on the weight. It is great that you know how to make healthy food choices, but I would suggest a food log/journal to start getting a sense of where your daily calories are falling. That will help you quite a bit.
Can you safely walk? Don't worry about the gym or fancy classes. Just work with what you can safely do. If you can walk - you can walk with your baby.
I know the weight gain is a huge issue for you. I can "hear" that pain in your write-up but do recognize you are under a lot of stress between the pain your body is in and the emotional drain of single parenting. Try and have patience and compassion for yourself. I am confident you will be able to start working towards weight loss, it just may have to be slower in the totality of everything else you have going on. And that is OK!!!
I'm so sorry that you're having such difficulties, and I hope you can find some support and friendship here to help you with not only your weight loss, but also the other things- single parenting and your physical limitations.
You have already proven that you're a strong woman. I was raised in a single parent household with no financial or emotional help from my father, so I know how tough that can be. I was always amazed at my mother's strength, and even more so now that I'm an adult and mother.
You can do this! Take it one day at a time; I know it's a cliche, but it's the best way to approach weight loss. Set small goals and give yourself credit for each and every goal you meet. If you are able to walk, start doing that; strap your baby on or use a stroller. It'll be good for both of you.
Your child's father must be held liable to pay child support. Take him to court if necessary, do not neglect this, he may say he can't afford it, or try to weasel out in some way. I cannot over emphasize how important that he pay child support. You do not know what the future has in store for you; Suppose you get ill and cannot work ? Suppose the child has medical expenses that you cannot afford ? For the sake of your child and yor own sanity take steps to assure he will be financially accountable for his child.
Find a diet plan and exercise plan that you can follow and get started and you will see results. Do not give up. I found that calorie counting works best for me. I have tried all sorts of diet plans before I started calorie counting and found success.
You have not given up because you turned to this forum for help and support. I did the same thing on October 21. You will find that your story is always someone else's story and that you are not alone. Many of your weight issues are identical to mine and no matter how many times I tried to tell doctors that I was trying to lose and despite eating as low as 1200 calories a day I gained and gained.
My story is to involved to go into here---I did post it initially---in part in my introduction back in October. Even with a diagnosis of hypothyroidism it was still difficult to lose weight. I currently am using the Metabolism Miracle program and it is as if it was designed for my body and I have had success with it. I want you to know that you are not alone and i will be here to cheer you on as will so many others.
I just have to say it. Weighing 300-320 lbs. doesn't mean you're disgusting, ugly or the other things you posted. You may feel that way but I promise you that it doesn't mean that. All it means is that you weigh 300-320 lbs.
Besides going to the doctor, I'm going to make a pretty radical suggestion for this forum. Have a look at some Health At Any Size blogs. You can Google it or I can suggest some. There are awesome amazing women who weigh 300+ lbs.
The reason I suggest this is because I think that it is helpful to accept yourself and think that you deserve all the awesome things that you want, including weight loss.
You have made a great first step! I am sorry to hear about your struggles, and I want to say that I admire your strength! It takes a lot of balls to come here and bare your heart and soul to strangers (it was scary, right?) and you see how youve gotten cyber hugged about 6 times already (and heres my hug too: HUGSSSSSS) this forum is so supportive and I usually just lurk around, smiling at all these wonderful people who will uplift each other and hug each other and give great advice and you get no judgments...
You've come to the right place! Take things one day at a time, one bite at a time, one movement at a time. If you can, walk throughtout your home, up and down the stairs, and take your baby with you. I chased my son around the house for exercise before I started going to the gym. and even there, im only walkin on the treadmill. The day you decide to do something about your weight brings you one step closer to your goal. try making healthy choices when you can afford to and use moderation when you cant. get child support from your childs father, that should help a lot. dont stop coming here if you get discouraged, this is the best place to be when youre feeling down because everyone here will encourage you to get back up. for this to be an "anonymous online forum" it feels like coming home or being amongst friends...everybody has a story and you can always find someone who relates or who will **hug** you when they cant...
good luck!
I am so sorry for what you are going through! I totally understand feeling overworked, over-stressed, and to feel like you're so big nothing you do will matter. Here's the trick: it does matter and you secretly know it!
I know you have a lot going on, but I'm going to give you a kick in the butt, because it kind of seems like that's what your post was asking for a little. If you know a lot about nutrition, you know that IT ABSOLUTELY makes a difference when you eat a salad as opposed to a pint of ice cream! And you don't have to have a fancy gym membership or be in great shape to exercise. I understand chronic pain, but moderate exercise usually helps things like that- especially when you're carrying around a bunch of extra weight, honey. What about trying to walk in place while you're watching a tv program? Even the little things count. But most of all, what will help you actually LOSE weight is what you put in your mouth! You might not drink soda or eat greasy food all day, but you did not get to be that heavy by eating 1500 calories a day. Track your food. You are probably eating more than you realize. Little bits add up! Depression is the worst for weight gain! Also- wash that man out of your hair! Call the attorney general's office for your state and they should be able to hook you up with some legal aid. Start taking control of your life! You can do this! You are smart, beautiful, and powerful and you just need to tackle this life head-on! C'mon, girl!
Wow everyone...There are so many replies...I will read them tonight. I do not know how to navigate this forum, so i cannot tell when people have replied or not. Sorry, i am very new. My first day. I will respond later tonight...THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU!!!!
Yes, HikingChloe, I am under extreme stress. I want my son to have so much better than I have. It is very hard for me to walk or even stand for long. I try walking sometimes. I have to take soooo many breaks that it makes it pointless to walk almost. While pregnant my pelvis became very tilted...
I am definately working on getting a new doctor. My insurance and transportation are not too great, but i will continue to try. Thank you.
On the Edge of Insanity, Looking over the Cliff...Help Me! :(
Pretty disgusting, huh? Well, I didn't get this way shoveling lard in my face. I've never drank soda, barely drnk juice and consume tons of fresh water. I was a thin child, but the weight shot to 160 by age 12. No rhyme or reason. I am 5'5" and shapely, so 160lbs was a size 9/10 on me. My goal weight is 145 (size 6). At age 18 when my then boyfriend and I became sexually active, I tried depo provera and blew up 60-70lbs in 9months!! By age 19 I was a terrible 230lbs! I tried EVERYTHING to lose the weight!! I mean, I ate healthy (I am a holistic specialist, so I know a lot about health), I have ALWAYS been VERY active. My jobs were always physically abusive, so my body never had a chance to become lazy. At over 200lbs I could easily run up 4 flights of stairs and was a size 18. Well, then I became pregnant. My pregnancy caused me a lot of physical damage to my body, so even now, I experience waaay too much chronic pain to exercise. I shot up another 70lbs while pregnant. Partly due to my new physical disabilities and partly due to losing my job and no longer being able to afford healthy foods. My child's father abandoned us while I was pregnant and disabled, so No, I do not have his help in ANY way. I breastfeed my 1yr old and every dime I get goes to taking care of him. How am I supposed to lose 150lbs if I am unable to exercise???? My self-esteem is lower than dirt. I cannot afford clothes or do have my hair done. I hate always being in pain. The surgeries that I need have a somewhat long recovery period and as a solo mom, I have been unable to acquire them. I would ALSO like to see about getting the Lap-Band! Seems promising! 
Well, now that I weigh over 300lbs I no longer seem to care what I eat. It doesn't make a difference. If I eat pure salad or a pint of ice cream my weight will not change. I did not lose a pound breastfeeding and that is suppose to help! I have ALWAYS had the hardest time losing weight. Both of my parents struggle with their weight as well. I am at a loss for options. I am very very depressed, I am SEVERELY sleep deprived due to my baby and very frustrated with life. 
