Hey Everyone,

So I've recently decided to try and lose 20lbs, I've lost weight in the past but I've gained some of it back in the past few years.

I find that during the week I am fine and can stick to 1200-1500 calories, but then the weekend comes and I totally blow it. My boyfriend and I have a pretty active social life which consists of A LOT of eating out and drinking. For example this weekend:

- 2 trips to the bar with wings and fries
- "Food Stalk" a charity fundraiser with Canada's top 100 chefs
- BBQ

I can't seem to lose even though I really watch my portions and limit myself to two drinks. My friends even take it pretty easy, one is a dietitian! I remember when I lost weight before I cut out alcohol and anything non-healthy and to be honest by friendships suffered.

Anyways..advice would be appreciated

Thanks!
Lisa

Why do you have to eat when you go out, even if you go out to restaurants? I have accepted that sometimes I am going to be that weirdo who isn't eating anything. All my friends know about my weight-loss efforts so they don't even ask usually. I'm boycotting spending money at all restaurants that lack calculated nutrition information (I always request it from the servers) and very carefully plan ahead when I do decide to work a restaurant meal into my day. I think my body is more important that complying with every social norm and I don't find that my social life has been impacted at all.

What ERHR said.

Or find friends who like to do things besides eat and drink.

I eat as little as humanly possible on days I know I'll be going out with people in the evening. A couple fries here, a couple wings there, a couple drinks followed by lots of diet Cokes...it's not ideal for health but you don't ever HAVE to go totally insane.

Yeah, this is exactly why I like Intuitive Eating. I can have that stuff, but I have to be really really aware of my hunger level. It actually takes a lot less for me to feel satisfied that I used to realize. Enjoy it, just don't feel like you need to shovel it in, because it will always be there. Think about it. That same exact place probably isn't going anyplace soon, and if what you crave is wings and fries, you can always find them somewhere. Or start alternating-one week you get the wings, one week you get the fries. I personally think it's not worth it not to be able to have what you like, and I think really ignoring what you want to have leads to a swing in the opposite direction (like a pendulum that swing back the other way but with much more force!). I've learned to deal with extra eating by not depriving, just moderating. :-)

How can cutting out alcohol make your friendships suffer? I don't drink and I have lots of friends who do. They don't really care.

I'm always the DD or the one who makes sure everyone makes it back to their room. That way nobody who really wants to/likes to drink will miss out on the fun. They seem to really enjoy this arrangement :O

Otherwise I'd say get pretty strict with exactly how much you're eating. Eat only small portions, put the other part of your meal away and out of sight. Track EVERYTHING you're eating/drinking. You might be consuming more than you think.

I eat pretty badly on the weekends sometimes, but I stay within my calories and I've been able to enjoy myself and still lose weight

I eat gluten free and kosher. That means I'm extremely limited to what I can eat out so I don't do it much. I also don't drink (I don't like alcohol and I can't afford the extra calories and carbs). I can go out with friends and pick one small item to eat (like a baked potato) and not drink. They really don't care. If your friends only want to be with your when you're drinking then I'd say there is a problem.

I'm not sure how your friendship can suffer because of what you eat/do not eat or drink/do not drink. *shrug* Anyway....I do the weight watchers plan and lost 1.2 pounds this week with eating out 3 times in the last 4 days (all you can eat shrimp at red lobster, all you can eat chinese buffet, and bbq, beans, patato salad, cake and ice cream). I eat whatever I want, just smaller portions and save the points so I can have whatever I want when I go out. My husband wants to go to Olive Garden one night this week...So I know I'll have a small low point breakfast and lunch so that I can have whatever I want when we go.

I had friends once that kept getting irritated at me when I'd go out and refuse to drink ... I dumped them

I can relate to this in a way. Once I went vegetarian, all my friends stopped inviting me out to eat and hang out. Even though they went to places that I could have just hung out or ordered something else. I think a really good friend would be able to understand that you are on a different diet. Eat something light before you go out like a soup and don't overdo it at the restaurant is probably the best advice.

I know how this goes. A big part of my social life is eating and drinking. I've never had issues staying on track when it's just me and I'm super busy and/or miserable, but I find it really challenging to combine weight loss with with an active social life.

I do try to cut back on dining out, especially going to eat at other people's houses where I'll feel awkward being picky about food or not eating. I try to balance this by haveing my friends over for dinner more, where I can prepare the food and make things that are on plan. When I dine out I try to pick restaurants where I know I'll be able to get something healthy, and if I know I'll be drinking, especially beer, I'll try to eat lighter for the rest of the day or get in some extra exercise.

It can be really hard, and I do feel like when I'm more serious about my diet I miss out on a lot of fun, but everything in moderation. Good luck!

You can still go out to bars and restaurants and order the healthy option. Just educate yourself on what is good for you and be specific about the order. Ask for any dressings or sauces that come with meals to be on the side, ask it to have less cheese (or in my case no cheese - hate the stuff!), ask how they prepare certain foods and see if they can cook it differently - generally get a bit picky! As for drinks, just stop drinking! Drink water, juice or soda. You can still have a good time! If you need to rely on alcohol to have a good time, then you need to learn to live without it - I've heard it been referred to as liquid fat plenty of times!

Thanks for the tips, it's not that my friends will not hangout with me if I don't drink.
It's just tricky to maintain an active part of the group when so much of our weekend revolves
around dinner parties, pubs and Sunday brunch. I guess food is just a big part of the culture in the city I live in.

I think I'll just try to be much more aware of calories and save enough for something small when we go out. Or not eat and have dinner before I go...and drink a lot of soda water

At the end of the day it's a choice I guess - lose weight or eat and drink with them.

i hope that you can find a middle ground, like you were saying, eat a little bit or drink a little bit but still have fun.

like
6 chicken wings (bad)
but
1(with skin) or 2(without skin)-- not too bad

or
pint of beer (bad)
but
vodka with soda and lime-- not too bad at around 70 calories

same buzz

Having supportive friends really helps. My friends understands when I only drink water. Also when I eat out, I either only order soup or appetizer. When I order an entree, I get a to go box and put half in it right away.