Hello ladies ( and gentlemen ),

I searched for an anxiety thread but didn't seem to come across any so I thought since anxiety & depression usually go hand n hand, I'd post here.

After many many years of this ... the social anxiety, weight, crappy food and so on ... I don't know which came first. But I know that they all adversely effect each other. Did that make sense?

Losing weight, exercising, eating really really well and taking my medications (a decreased dose now) all make the social anxiety much easier to live with. Never forget that every little bit of your mind, body and soul is connected and works together.

Nicely said Susan

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I think my social anxiety is/was totally related to how I look. When I was 265, I was always aware of how big I was, and really didn't want anyone to see me. I ate my anxiety, and nothing got any better. And to think of what all I was eating! CRAP! (I still have it a little bit, I seem to falter during conversions.)

It's been a few years later, and I find that I don't seem to mind going out in public because now I feel like a "normal" size person, it's just getting there! Now my fears are centered around driving and my eyesight.

Just some of my experiences. Good luck to you!

Makes perfect sense Susan.

My social anxiety got worse as I got bigger. While I think anxiety could have played a role initially in gaining weight, I think it was more the weight gain increasing the anxiety.

A couple of things that muddle together to make an anxious feeling for me are caffeine jitters and/or low blood sugar. Learning to differentiate those from a real anxiety and learning not to get anxious thinking something like that might happen ... it's hard to explain ...

Since I've come up with a way of eating that prevents caffeine jitters and hypoglycemic episodes, I don't have that pseudo-anxiety to worry about. Pseudo or not ... it would send me into a spin.

What would I do if I had a hypoglycemic episode? Eat something sweet and fast! What if I was just anxious? Did I eat something sweet? Did it help? Maybe, maybe not. Did it send my blood sugar up and cause a crash later? Sure, sometimes. Then what's a gal to do? I ate more sweet.

I've been doing a lot of reading lately and am becoming more and more aware of how closely linked our bodies and minds really are. And not just in the mind over matter fashion. Chemically linked as in run on some of the same fuels, hormones, chemicals.

You know how you feel when you have a fright? Heart racing, rapid breathing, sweating ... It's all mixed up with adrenaline which is mixed up with cortisol which is mixed up with who knows what! So how much of a panic attack is really physical? or emotional? or a mixture?

Apparently feeling better hasn't cured me of rambling

My weight definitely plays a roll in my anxiety. I was never "thin" but I was a cheerleader in high school, played sports, was active, socialized, dated, was popular and fun. As I got older and heavier, I definitely stopped feeling the part of the crowd. I never felt like I had anything worthy to say because my friends talked about being active, I stayed at home on the couch and ate. Now that I'm at my heaviest, I looked at a picture of myself last night and almost turned to my SO and said "What on earth do you see in me" -- my face was so fat, my arms! Ugh. Working on it, but I've definitely become a person that would rather stay home and feel sorry for myself, than be forced into an awkward social situation.

I am 16 years old and I am about to be a junior in high school. I am 200 pounds and I think that both my weight and my anxiety are preventing my happiness. I am so sick of being sad but my mOm is unwilling to help with my obesity or anxiety which I think stem from my mothers lack of well, being a mom. I know that it isn't her fault I am this way but it's easier to blaim her for me having no life then blaim myself. I just really can't come up with a solution to my problem. I don't know if anyone else feels this way but reading this thread reminded me that I need to try.

Unfortunately, your Mom may not understand, or may not have any idea how to help. I have my Mom still, my Dad passed many years ago, I still miss him. I also am a parent. As a parent, you get one shot with each child you have, they are all different. It's a tough row to hoe to get it right. As a child, of my parents. They did not always do everything right, but they didn't do bad. I've forgiven my parents, for something that my Dad never knew about, the sexual abuse, because he died, and my Mom, because, it was more than she could handle at the time. The rest of the family could have been pure bred ostriches they stuck their heads so far in the sand. Over time it has gotten better and some things have changed. It will never be perfect, but it is what it is.

As far as being a parent, I tried very hard to toe the line between being the MOM and being in charge, as well as listening to my kids and take in to consideration the issues they were dealing with.

As far as the original topic, I think it varies too much from one person to the next, to really say it is "this or that"

I had a panic attack at 135 pounds. It had nothing to do with fat, just where I was at that point in my life.

I do get, because I've also been heavy, how that can play a part in how you feel about yourself, but it is not the only issue. One of my best friends is morbidly obese, yet she is the happiest person I know and has a sex life most of us would chew off a leg for. She is happy in her skin!

I think being overweight plays into my anxiety, I'm not diagnosed officially with anything but I'm an "over reactor" and "high strung" and tend to "freak out" a lot. I was always, have always (feel like I will always be overweight). I think its one more thing that we let be an excuse for not doing things. I know it is on my list of reasons not to approach new people in social situations. And because of my size I feel "in the way" a lot of the time. :-| It might not CAUSE my social anxiety but it sure as heck doesn't help it.

Being more active helps me cope better with it, it hasn't made me more friends or made me better at small talk but it helps me get away from my stress for a while and thats a good thing in my books.

I've many heavy girls who act so confident and comfortable in their bodies. Sure, I bet they would like to lose weight and get healthier, but it's always interesting to watch the way they fix themselves up and enter a room like they are the cutest on there.

I think for some (myself included) we may be more predisposed toward social anxiety/less self confidence etc. Being overweight doesn't help. I think even if I were thin, I'd still feel anxious about walking into a room full of people. It's not always about just looks, but feeling anxious about if people will like who I am on the inside.

Tabbiy-

I remember being 16 and just about that same weight. It's hard! Support is so important, but not having it shouldn't stop you. You sound smart, you've found these message boards (wish I had the internet when I was 16!), you're a teen (not a young child), so I'm thinking (even though at this age you still need support from a mom) this is something you can do on your own (and with the support of message boards). There is a point in everyone's lives where we learn that maybe we can't change other people, but we can change how we view them and our situation. Sometimes kids are more mature than the parents (sometimes, mostly not : ). It's your life. How is your mom unwilling to help? In the foods she buys or doesn't buy? You have to find a way to work this out regardless of the situation you're in. Mom may just stay exactly the same, so then what? Make it work. She might be your reason for why you overeat and feel bad, but she doesn't have to be your excuse. (coming from someone with experience at this : ).

Everyone goes about changing their eating in different ways. You're 16 so I doubt you have any (or much) control over what kind of foods you eat at home. I've not been successful at depriving myself of certain foods, so I figured a way to have what I want and lose. I have been called the Fast Food Queen (by my mom. ; ) The title is sad, but true). I used to love fast food and sweets (and still do). After reading an article in Reader's Digest I began counting calories. I eat mostly whatever I want, but way LESS of it. If I want a burger I have one, but either skip the fries or have maybe 5-6. If I want sweets (which I do most days) I have 1 small one (even Starbucks or M&Ms), but it MUST fit within my calories for the day. If I want that treat, the rest of the day is filled in with healthy food (salad, sandwich on whole wheat bread, proteins, fruits, etc). Why am I telling you this? Because if this is an issue of what your mom buys from the store, it doesn't have to be. Figure your calories needed to lose in a healthy way (via MyFitnessPal, CalorieKing etc), and if you have to, eat what your mom makes, just try and add up the calories. This method may not work for you....it's just an idea. : )

As far as anxiety goes...is it something that is disrupting your daily life (feeling too bad to do school work, socialize, etc)? If so, maybe have a serious talk with her (if you haven't already) and ask if she can work with you on this one thing. Maybe you need to talk to someone else even.

Again, oh how I wish I had the internet and these message boards when I was 16. And oh how I wish I was 16 again (ok, not really). : ) Check in to these message boards as often as possible to stay on track. Ask questions and vent and do everything you can to connect. Use the support that's here.

Yeah I have the genes for S.A.D. but I am the only one who seems to have struggled with it out of myself and my siblings. I'd bet money that if they did a study on childhood obesity and it's correlation with S.A.D. prevalence, it would be very conclusive. Our generation is extremely image conscious and have been indirectly taught from childhood that obesity is a character flaw, so it's not surprising that people develop anxiety in such a hostile environment.

I have some social anxiety. I just hate socializing, especially with people I don't know. Even with people I do know (other than my family) I would rather stay home. I feel it is getting worse. I don't know if it is because I am getting older, or because of my weight. I usually have to talk myself into going to social events. If at all possible I will find a way not to go. I do know when I was thinner it wasn't so bad.

We are invited to a pool party this weekend to celebrate a friend of DH's 50 th birthday. I have only met this person once, and I won't know anyone else there, and did I mention it is a pool party? There is absolutley no way I am wearing a swimsuit. I told DH it was like my worst nightmare, and he thought I was kidding, but I wasn't.

Interesting that you should bring up the correlation between weight gain and SAD. I gain weight every winter. I don't usually feel depressed (sometimes), but I do feel the winter weight gain is due to the lack of sunlight in the winter here in Canada. I crave carby-sweets like nobody's business. I gained 20 pounds this winter.