[abluvion]

Hi all.

Has anyone here gotten help for their binge eating and found it useful? I found a counselor who is covered by my insurance and one of her specialties is eating disorders. I've been staring at her phone number for days now, thinking of calling but I never do.

I went to therapy once when I was a kid and my parents were divorcing. It was a complete waste of time. it was not something I wanted, so I sat there and played "happy child" and convinced the therapist I was coping well. (Maybe I should have gone into acting.) Even though there have been times in my life since then when I've thought an outside opinion would be welcome, or I'd like a little insight on my issues, I've looked up counselors and never called. Time and again. I have this block when it comes to seeking help.

So I guess since I have this connection in my brain that says therapy = useless, even though a large part of me doesn't believe that, I'm preventing myself from seeking help. My binge eating is getting progressively worse and I don't know why... I'm getting to that point where I have to admit I need help. But where to get that help when I am afraid of calling a counselor?

Does anyone have positive stories to share about therapy experiences and binge eating or other problems? Can it really help me? I guess I don't want to go invest my time and emotions in something that will ultimately be a waste of time, like it was for me when I went as a kid... Even though I know circumstances are WAY different now (I'd be going voluntarily for one).

Help?

[christine123]

I think a lot of therapy is really what you put into it. There's something to be said for an "expert" and someone who has a lot of experience working with certain disorders. But when it comes down to it, it's really about a connection with the person and being able to build a helpful relationship. Some of it is going to be the experience that person brings to the table but most of it will be how far you're willing to go to explore the issues and make positive changes. My opinion is to keep searching until you find one that "clicks" well with you and then begin the real work. If you need to shop around and do consult appointments just to see how you feel with the person, go for it! That's probably what most people should do when looking for someone. Therapy as an adult is a much different experience than therapy as a child. Maybe support groups or group therapy might be more helpful as well. I think ultimately it's important to not throw out the baby with the bathwater due to a poor experience as a child. There will be something out there that works for you so keep exploring until you find it! Also, if you do go the personal therapy route, please keep in mind that things start slowly in the beginning because you're really just trying to get to know each other and build a relationship initially. Good luck!

[LeslieB]

Therapy is a great tool to utilize as long as you are completely open to it and let it wash over you. Part of the lifestyles program I'm on incorporates a therapist and a 12 week therapy group. I haven't binged in a very long time (well over a year) but my therapist suggested I go into the intensive group on group night. At first I was a bit skeptical but it's been an amazing experience. We are on our last session next week and I'm sad to see it end. To hear similar stories as mine was eye opening and it makes you realize you're truly not alone in your way of thinking. Seeing my therapist has been a great eye opener as well. It took a couple of weeks to feel real comfortable talking to him but now it's fantastic. Make the call... you'll be glad you did !!

I highly recommend getting the book Shrink Yourself by Roger Gould, M.D. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[MapleLeaf]

I've recently begun seeing a therapist for BED and I've found it extremely beneficial already.

I think it could be useful for anyone who is willing to be open and honest. Sometimes that is very hard in therapy. I have so much shame attached to my binge eating that it would be much easier to go in and say that everything is going fine. It's very uncomfortable to talk about this, but pushing past that has given me a lot of insight.

If you're still on the fence, take some time to think about what your goals are. Are you hoping to stop binge eating? Gain insight into what causes you to binge? Find different ways to manager your stress/emotions without binge eating? I think that having specific goals and knowing what you're looking for can help you figure out if therapy will be helpful.

Based on my personal experiences, I think you should give it a try. Since starting therapy, I have become much more able to resist binge eating. My old method used to be white knuckling it and just trying to force myself to resist. Now I have so much more knowledge about what situations and emotions tempt me to binge and have a plan of what to do in those situations. And I have someone to talk about all of this with and keep me on track.

Whatever you decide, I hope you figure out something that helps! I am sorry that you haven't been doing well lately.

[abluvion]

Originally Posted by MapleLeaf

My old method used to be white knuckling it and just trying to force myself to resist.

This has always been my strategy.... It's not working very well. :/

Thanks for all your input. I am open to it - I am okay being honest with my situation. I'd tell everyone in my life I binge eat if it meant I could overcome it.

I guess I'm afraid or something... I can't gather up the courage to make a dang appointment. It will mean opening myself up to things I am obviously not dealing with... And frankly I don't know what those things are (I can't point to any specific cause of my BED). So that's scary.

What's weird is that deep down I think I have trouble even making an appointment because I'm afraid of being rejected. Of them telling me I don't have a real problem, or it's not a big enough deal to seek help for. I guess there's part of the root of my problem, never feeling important enough... So I learned not to put myself out there. And now it's preventing me from doing the very thing that can help me get over this issue!

So frustrating... I really, really want help with this but I just can't pick up that phone to take the first step. It's encouraging to hear that people have success with therapy, though, and I'm kind of hoping that if enough people say "it works!" I'll have an easier time making the call.

[uwfan27]

I'd say, make the call. I would be willing to bet my right arm that the therapist will not belittle your problem. I have found every therapist I've visited (5 so far...) to have compassion and were not judgemental. However, not every therapist is a right FIT for you, and sometimes you might feel uncomfortable with one, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't give up and try another. Like I have said, I have worked with 5 different therapists throughout different times in my life, different times when I needed different things from therapy. Some were a bad fit and I only saw them a couple times, but when you find someone you are comfortable with, that you can open up to, it really does wonders! I still have trouble saying everything that's tearing at me deep down inside because saying it makes it more real, but with each painful thing that surfaces through therapy (and self work) I feel that much better. Please call! The worst thing that can happen is that you waste a couple hours of your time, but there can be so many good things to come out of it!!! I hope you find success!

[Jalsa]

I had therapy for BED and am glad I went. It is now recognised as an eating disorder and about time too. I am not saying that it has made me lose weight - because it hasn't, but what it has done, is given me coping strategies to deal with the binge eating -and make me aware of my life style binge triggers - stress and tiredness are real big ones for me. There is a book Overcoming Binge Eating by Dr Christopher Fairbanks -well worth a read.