[BeachBreeze2010]

I have heard of the influenza diet and after experiencing that one a few times, I would rather keep the 5lbs. But this one, I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy (well I can think of one person I would wish it on ).

I've been going through this weight loss journey for a few years now and had some success last year losing 40lbs. I gained almost all of it back when I started having some stress at work. I had hit bottom with my weight and wanted to change but was really struggling. I felt like my eating was out of control because my blood sugar was swinging so dramatically that I felt like I needed to eat the way a drug addict needs a fix.

Then, my whole world turned upside down when I found out my husband didn't love me anymore and had been having an emotional affair. Now, I can't eat. Everytime I do my stomach feels like I have just swallowed shards of glass. I've been lucky to get in 800 calories a day. I know I need to eat more and really try to, but it's so hard. We are separating this weekend and I am hoping that I will be able to heal a little more without the constant up and down of emotions. In an odd way, I am glad to have some nights free and a free gym membership with my new apartment.

Here's the part that's really concerning me, though: I kind of like the weight loss. The weight falls off in chunks every day. It's oddly motivating. And there is this little devil in my head telling me that getting really thin and looking smoking hot is going to get him back or at least make me attractive to someone else when I'm ready for that. I know I need to take care of myself and eat more and that's the way to do this long term. Maybe once I start feeling a bit better I'll be able to do that.

Has anyone else gone through this?

[lin43]

I know what you mean. Without going into any detail, I had some relationship problems a while back, and within a few days, I lost 7 lbs. I truly believe that somehow extreme stress (not the normal, "I'll eat to comfort myself" stress) contributes to weight loss. Because even though I was eating very little during that time, I was losing more weight than the calories that I wasn't eating would account for.

Don't worry about not eating enough. Your appetitie will come back. Right now, you are going through an extremely stressful time in your life, and frankly, you will not be able to put all this into perspective until some time (I mean, months or even years) have passed. Eventually, you probably will not have revenge as a motivation to look good and will realize that you must take care of yourself for yourself. There are no words, actions, etc., that will make you realize this, though----just the perspective that time gives.

Do allow yourself to grieve, though. Don't tell yourself you "shouldn't" feel a certain way. Some pampering will also help (pampering ALWAYS helps). Treat yourself to a massage, pedicure, facial, etc.

Best wishes to you during this stressful time.

[BeachBreeze2010]

Thank you for taking the time to write back, Lin! :-) Great advice! I will be more patient with myself. I'm sorry you had to go through it, too.

It's been awkward lately because I have to eat out for lunch A LOT for my job. I am not a skinny woman so I know the other person can tell this is out of the ordinary for me because they ask! "Is that all you are going to eat?" "Did you like your lunch?" I just mumble something about my stomach being upset today and try to get the subject to drop. They probably think I am on a diet and not doing it the healthy way.

[psuajblue]

We're back together now, but my boyfriend and I separated for about a month back in Dec/ Jan. It was so hard for me. I cried and cried. My mom bought me a juicer for Christmas. This sounds ridiculous, but juice was the only thing I could keep down without throwing up because I was so upset. I focused on the stupid juicer more than the pain I was feeling. I juiced everything, all the time. I lost 8 pounds in 4 days. During this time, I also ran. I ran and cried, ran and screamed (I was home for Xmas, and my parents live in rural PA), ran and sang... just let out a lot of what I was feeling. I had some of the same feelings you're having. My ONLY motivation for exercising was the chance that I could run into him at the grocery store once I returned to the city we live in. I wanted him to be shocked at how great I looked. Don't beat yourself up. You're getting through this the best way you know how, and we're here for you (I mean really here for you- please PM me if you need/ want to talk).

[mzKiki]

It happened to me years ago. It was nice to lose the weight, but I was too sad to really enjoy it. And once I was "happy" again it all came back.
It may be a good idea to look for support groups (even online).
Sorry I don't have much advice, but I hope everything works out well for you.

[alliesarang]

Yup! I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, but after the first few months we broke up for a few weeks and that was the fastest I lost weight. It's kinda messed up. Depression and weight loss go together just like happiness and weight gain for me.

My life right now is about figuring out how to make happiness and weight loss go together. it's tough.