I am wondering if this is some weird semi-midlife-crisis I am going through, or if this is typical of a weight-loss journey. I find myself evaluating and re-evaluating several aspects of my life lately - not just the weight. In trying to better my health by eating better and moving more, I am finding that other parts of my life need attention as well.
Like, I am considering going back to church for the first time in almost 15 years. I am contemplating attending an OA meeting to check that out. I am thinking about increasing my volunteer hours. I am trying to figure out ways to strengthen my relationship with my fiance. I am attempting to be more honest with myself about my feelings, and talking about them more.
Overall, you could say I am looking at possible major changes in my life, other than weight. I just want to be happier again. I want to feel whole. I think this weight-loss journey, for me, has opened up my eyes as to why I may be overweight, and why, perhaps, I need to overhaul many aspects of my life.
Do any of you find yourself doing this, too? I mean, my brain is constantly going now - thinking about what could be, should be, will be, etc. Is this typical? Or is this is a "time to evaluate my life a little earlier than midlife (I'm 31)" type crisis?
It's honestly making the weight loss harder, as I am binging a lot more thinking about these huge life issues and possible changes I may want to make. It's making me realize that I'm not completely happy and that I need to change some things - which, in turn, is making me feel blue more often, leading to binging. But, thinking about the person I could be in the future makes me happy - if I can just get to that destination someday.
Bleh. My brain hurts just thinking about it all now.
I can definitely relate, but I don't think it's a bad thing at all, unless, like you sound to be, you get a little overwhelmed by what all in your life needs to change NOW, like right this minute!!
About 2 months into my weight loss (which started in May last year), I became thoroughly disgusted by my budget. My budget was eerily in the same shape as my diet -- spend whatever, whenever, then pay for it later. So I sat down with my bills and overhauled my whole system. Then I was disgusted with the clutter and general state of my home (it never was anything like "hoarding"!), but my house was in the same state as my body. Crap laying around, generally sloppy, and not a lot of care to appearance. So far I've decluttered everything except the garage, redone my daughter's rooms, rearranged some furniture, and they are coming to measure for my new carpet today (which means I have this week to paint before it's installed).
I think getting a real control over something that has been flapping in the breeze for so long for me, has opened my eyes to all the other changes I want to make in my life (cosmetic and otherwise), and I now have the strength and desire to start tackling some of the other stuff that just seemed too overwhelming before. At first, I was driving myself crazy trying to do it all NOW, but I've settled in to being able to do it all more gradually with my sanity in mind.
So yes, I think it could be normal with a weight loss journey. Then again, I just turned 40 and a lot closer to mid-life than you are, so who knows?!
But, thinking about the person I could be in the future makes me happy - if I can just get to that destination someday.
Also, just a thought from my wonderful doctor when I was talking to her about something along these lines. When I saw her after losing about 40 lbs, I said "Okay, now I just have to tackle the excess sodium in my diet, continue to lose, etc, etc" and then everything will be perfect. She reminded me that there really IS no "perfect" to achieve, it's all about doing the best you can. I appreciated that a lot, because there really IS no "destination", like okay, I'm the exact person I want to be now, job done! Because once you achieve what you want to achieve now, you'll think of something else. We are all a work in progress, all the time.
Location: I live at home with my fiance and 3 children. LOL
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Hey guys,
I don't think that any of us are actually "dieting" we are making lifestyle changes. So it only makes sense that we would want to fix every aspect that we see as lacking. I haven't really hit that part of the journey yet, and I know I'm too young to have a mid-life crisis, but I totally see this happening with me. I'm already starting to see things in my life that I'm not totally happy with that are not my appearance or health. I wouldn't think of it as a mid-life crisis... just part of the lifestyle change. Does that make sense to anyone other than me?? LOL
Oh, definitely. I have been one big self-improvement project over this past year and a half. I am very happy with all aspects of my life save one at this point. The one aspect I would like to change involves spending less time here! LOL! I'm working on it...but I am addicted.
Also, just a thought from my wonderful doctor when I was talking to her about something along these lines. When I saw her after losing about 40 lbs, I said "Okay, now I just have to tackle the excess sodium in my diet, continue to lose, etc, etc" and then everything will be perfect. She reminded me that there really IS no "perfect" to achieve, it's all about doing the best you can. I appreciated that a lot, because there really IS no "destination", like okay, I'm the exact person I want to be now, job done! Because once you achieve what you want to achieve now, you'll think of something else. We are all a work in progress, all the time.
Thank you SO much, Shannon! This is a beautiful way of looking at it! I think that is part of what makes it a little overwhelming for me right now - I keep adding things to list! Thanks for letting me know that I'm not alone in feeling this way.
And, Danielle, I definitely approached this weight loss journey (began in January) as a lifestyle change, not a diet. I knew that it could and would most likely expand and maybe get a little messy, which is why I am keeping a personal journal (blog) about everything I'm going through this time - so I never forget where I came from 5 years from now when I will hopefully be maintaining a good weight and maintaining a good attitude.
Thanks so much for the replies! I awoke this morning thinking about this post and hoping for some replies to help me gain a little perspective. So, thank you! :-D
Oh, definitely. I have been one big self-improvement project over this past year and a half. I am very happy with all aspects of my life save one at this point. The one aspect I would like to change involves spending less time here! LOL! I'm working on it...but I am addicted.
Thanks, Eliana! :-D I'm eagerly awaiting that day for me - I'll accept a little 3FC obsession if it's the only thing I have left out of my laundry list of self-help items! :-)
This is an interesting post...I can see how weight loss has made me evaluate things as well. You are not in a life-crisis or anything ~ I think you are just taking care of yourself and trying to eat healthier/lose weight, so your brain is wondering what else can be done to make positive changes.
Like Shannon above, my budget was out of whack even though I thought I was doing a good job of keeping track of my money. I started counting calories in January, and my husband and I sat down and went over everything. I revamped the budget and have been sticking to it! A positive change that will affect us positively!
Good for you for thinking of new things to do and new changes to make. Good luck to you!
there is a blog written by one of the members here called "escape from obesity". If you go back and read through it, you will see she tried to work through her issues, not just diet. Some of these emotional things did sidetrack her weight loss temporarily, but they were all things which would help her relationship with food in the end. i am not quite reevaluating EVERYTHING, but my hubs and i are trying to get the budget under control and have put our preteen on a kids eating plan. We already feel much better about life, and we have alot of craziness going on right now. -fm
Oh yes indeed!! Finances were always the only part of my life in more control, but somewhere along the way I realized that my attitude about my weight (eat now, worry later) was related to my procrastination tendencies in other areas of my life. If I can enjoy it now and prolong the pain, I will. Or rather, I would. I've been really working on that.
And my house was also unkempt, cluttered and uncared for (well). This year I've been working on that, too. Not only are we doing some badly needed renovating, we've also started decluttering, finding a "home" for everything in the house and picking up after ourselves more. At least it keeps me moving more!!!
I think this journey has been a lot about being an "adult" in more areas of my life...
So, no, you are not alone in this lifestyle re-evaluation!!
I'm sorry that some of these revelations has resulted in binging, but I imagine it should decrease as you work through some of these things. Take it one day at a time, one issue at a time. Try to focus on small tasks so that it's not too overwhelming. I think it's great that you're having this realization, though, and you must be right about what you need in your life because it triggered binging as a coping mechanism for that stress.
I have also been going through something similar. I have become more hopeful toward the future, I want to better my relationships as well, and I am more adventurous toward life. I want to take better care of myself (included pampering stuff like makeup) and want to keep my house cleaner. I realize how I've let myself down in different aspects of my life, such as ignoring my need to make friends and just get out there in life. I, too, have binging issues and they are triggered easily. Try to take a step back and breathe -- the more you think about all these changes at once, the more you'll trigger the binging.
But, of course, don't ignore these new realizations because they're valuable for sure. Just try to work on them gradually
I'm glad that you are seeing things differently, because they probably have a lot to do with your eating and weight. Now you're starting to deal with how you feel about your life instead of ignoring it. I think that's great! I guess it comes as "growing pains" with losing weight.
This makes sense. Deciding to go on a weight loss journey is a big life-changing decision, and a lot of us have come to this path after much reflection. So, it only makes sense that you get to reflect on other areas of your life too and think of what changes you can make to make those areas better, since you're trying to improve one area.
Self Evaluation
I am very happy with all aspects of my life save one at this point. The one aspect I would like to change involves spending less time here! 
