I ask, because for the most part, I am "aware" that I am a fat chick. I am "aware" that I'm at risk for serious, deadly health issues. I am "aware" that my father died young of heart disease and that I inherited all of those genetics.
See the issue here is that even though I am aware of these things-I subconsiously avoid doing things that bring them to the forefront of my mind. I've been reading a lot of posts about things you'll never forget about from when you were heavy like not fitting into a chair or a booth at a restaurant or not being able to ride a roller coaster. I KNOW those things would be an issue for me, so I suconsiously avoid them so that it doesn't really "come up".
I guess what I'm getting at is that I know myself to become complacent with my weight. Because I am so used to suffering the "normal" things like being short of breath, having a hard time finding clothes, etc. that they've become just a part of my day to day and aren't such a glaring reality anymore. This is when it's most dangerous for me because that's when I start to just say "forget it" and do (or not do) and eat whatever I want and just push the need to take action back another day, then another, then another until one day I literally cannot fit into anything I own (including underwear!) because I've told myself that I will be alright, I'll just low carb it a few days next week and get this "bloat" off.
Well, that "bloat" has turned into 30lbs that I've put on since last May! Holy cow (literally! )
With the dawn of 2011, and of course the need to do the "resolution thing" I am back on the wagon for now. I'm trying to be dilligent this time and create systems of accountability through a buddy system in real life and also joining this board so I'll have people to talk to about these things.
Just wondering if anyone else does this too? Do you get complacent or even completely unrealistic with your weight issues? Do you also see yourself as "ok" even though you know your life has limits that you just never reach for?
well, i have been at points where i know i'm overweight yet i have done nothing about it. i've never been happy with my weight yet it wasn't until recently until i've decided to change myself.
This was definitely a problem for me before (heck, who are we kidding? It could be a problem in the future - I'm trying VERY hard to guard against it). I think it's why I took so long to actually do anything about my weight. The deal breaker for me was a combo of warnings from my doctor that I would start getting sick if I got any heavier, and then seeing almost 210 on the scale. That last thing shocked me into doing something.
I always thought I looked OK, even pretty. I still think I did. The major thing was that I was heading for health issues and I was starting to feel VERY uncomfortable in my body. I hated how my fat would rub in places - I felt claustrophobic inside my skin and knew I really couldn't take that flesh off, that it would take a long time. So I didn't do anything until it was heading toward unbearable for me.
Complacent is a good word, I think. It's how I was for sure.
Last edited by LiannaKole; 01-04-2011 at 06:14 PM.
At my highest weight, I wouldn't say I was so much complacent as depressed. When I struggle with complacency is at my current weight/size. I'm a size 18 which has kind of become my "normal." I feel like I'm a more socially acceptable amount of fat. And I don't really know what it's like to be any smaller. I want to push past this point. But I find myself a little too comfortable to get there any time soon.
I don't know if "complacent" is the right word for it for me, but yes, I do do a lot of the things you've mentioned. Like you, I've put on about 30 lbs since last spring. With my personality, I notice that when things start to seem overwhelming, I just shut down and ignore it. I got laid off last spring, and it's no coincidence that I put on a bunch of weight since then. The irony of it is that it probably makes it even harder for me to get a job - fatphobia is real, and depending on the interviewer, I could lose the job the second I walk into the room. I get so mad at myself when I think of how far I've let myself go.
Eventually, I reach a point where I'm like, "Whoa, this has got to stop!" I've just gotten there in the last month or so. It's frustrating and I wish I knew how to stop it. So I totally recognize where you're coming from.
Absolutely!
Complacency in many areas of my life has stopped me from growing personally, emotionally and physically. I finally figured out that I was complacent about many things due to fear.
I read the book "Life Unlocked-7 Revolutionary Lessons to Overcome Fear" by Srinivasan S. Pillay, MD. It changed my life. I felt like the book was written about my life.
Good luck on your journey. You can do this!!!
I go through times where I'm not doing anything about my weight but I've been aware of my weight every single day since before I was even overweight. Since gaining 8 years ago I feel like I am aware of my problem every moment of the day.
complacency, depression, denial, different facets of the same stone (my stone, that is)
different things have shoved the negatives of my situation in my face at various times: having problems physically getting around, tight clothes, social prejudices.
it can be like a pendulum (from I'm horrendously big and gross! to I'm doing ok at my size and I look fine), so yes, I feel like I struggle sometimes keeping my head in what I consider to be the right place: for my health I'd like to get my weight down to a good BMI (by eating in a responsibly nutritious way, and exercising)
I went through a phase before I started that I thought there are other big people that are happy and I can be too. I decided to just live with it... all that changed when I started having chest pains and failed a stress test... I needed to lose weight to live...
then while I started my diet my dad got sick. Some of our last conversations were that he was proud of me trying so hard to lose weight... he died and I need to honor him. I'm not sure that I have always made him proud but I want to feel as though I am still making him proud.
Just finished about 8 years of complacency. It's easy to rationalize that most people are carrying some extra pounds, that's normal as you grow older... But little warning signs were gnawing at me.
Realizing that even a quick dart from the parking lot to the train station, would leave me out of breath.
Seeing photographs of my face, and realizing that fat was creeping into my neck and cheeks.
Shirts that would no longer button all the way.
Discovering that old belts would not fit on ANY of the holes.
Feeling fat accumulate, in locations where I was not accustomed to sensing it.
Learning that a parent had developed diabetes.
Breaking 250! ArrRrrRggGGhh
Then you reach that boiling point and decide the complacency has to end....
I've definitely found myself in that valley where I've accepted my weight as a long term affliction. Most of the time I would go through life not really thinking about my weight - not really ALLOWING myself to think about my weight.
But. If I'm honest with myself it was always a thought in the back of my mind. For example, a few weeks ago my husbands work had an open house. My hubs was so excited to have the opportunity to actually show me his work station and my only thought was that I didn't really want to go on the floor tour because you have to wear an ESD smock (hubs works with sensitive circuit boards) and I was afraid there wouldn't be one to fit me.
I used to think I was the reverse of an anorexic. I would look in the mirror and see the thin woman I used to be, rather than the fat woman reflected back.
Because I gained my weight relatively slowly I didn't wake up one day looking fat and abnormal.
Instead of confronting my weight problem, I would tell myself the cameras were bad (that's why I was looking "fat" in that picture).
I would see how much food I was eating and I would say I was eating healthy portions instead of recognizing I was over-eating.
I ate when I was hungry, but I was hungry all the time and I didn't pay attention to that (it was a sign of my insulin resistance getting worse!).
I was told that I had PCOS and I should lose weight, but I didn't. I didn't do it because everything I read or heard about PCOS was associated with infertility and I wasn't planning on having children, so why did I care if I was a few pounds overweight?! Well, the health effects of PCOS are much more than just having a problem conceiving children! Now I know it's about the diabetes that will probably develop, the cancer, everything else.
I was very complacent.
I don't have one moment where I couldn't sit in an airplane seat or whatever that made me finally switch.
What I did have was one hospitalization that made me realize I wasn't taking care of my HEALTH. It was no longer about something as vain as being thin or looking good in pictures! It was about my life. Literally.
Sure, the vanity helps, and I can tell you that being at this weight LOOKS great.
But being healthy rocks so much more. I never thought I could feel this good. There were ailments that I had that I just thought were "normal" or part of getting older. Guess what? It wasn't! It was about being overweight!
My life is so different now and I've only lost 25 in total (or so). I can't wait until lose the rest, because I know I will feel even better than I do today.
I think for me it was mostly denial and laziness. It was much easier to just eat fast food than make an effort to cook anything and eat a chocolate when I craved it than fight the craving and deal with it. Also I dont think I really saw myself and even though I knew I was fat, I never knew just how fat. I remember in 2003 I did the protein diet for a month and felt so thin and went to a friend's wedding wearing a pink top and a skirt... well the pictures I saw were sure a reality check with rolls and rolls of fat in the back and my arms all wobbly and huge. But like you, id go "ok I start tomorrow" and would stick to it a few days lose a kilo then think "oh i'll eat that but be really good for a few days and lose it..." well that did't work. What I find discouraging is that i still have that atitude which came out in full force over the holidays. I spent a couple of days runing around with my mouth open and kept justifying that id get back onthe wagon and be good and it will all just go away. Well I've gained 3.5kg and although have lost 2 so far, there is still 1.5kg that I am struggling with. It upsets me that I ruined all my hard work and still have the same way of thinking and worries me that when I get to my goal weight I wont be able to keep it and spend my life with my weight yoyoing. But I think being aware of it is a positive thing... I hope!
So yeah, I think everyone can relate to you on this one
Definitely have felt the exact same way for a lot of my life. For most of my adulthood, I was right around between where you are and where I am now with my weight. I was "aware" of all the health problems I'd probably have "someday", and I was "aware" that there was a lot I couldn't enjoy because of it. But it was definitely my "normal", I was totally used to being where I was, and everything along with it (chub rub, getting out of breath doing what other people could do easily, never feeling like the pretty girl, always the fat friend, etc). All stuff that sucked, but that I was used to.
What happened to me was that I started working night shift and gained 70 lbs in about 3 years (some people can do night shift, I decidedly can NOT). The difference between my "normal" 260-280 and my new 350 was unbelievable. The health problems started showing themselves, and I realized that pretty quickly I had moved from really quite functional to "OMG, if I don't stop this soon I am going to not be able to work, and basically I'm just going to have to lay on the couch having meals brought to me till I finally wind down and die young". My rock bottom, so to speak.
I'm GLAD that happened to me -- obviously I had to get out of my complaceny by getting to an all new low (or high in my case!). And now that I'm back at my old normal, there is no stopping here -- I'm taking it all the way. You can definitely get that motivation to shake the complacency BEFORE you get to that point, just thinking about it, you're probably on your way!
Have you ever been complacent with your weight?
) 
and decide the complacency has to end....
