So, I have been having some problems with keeping ahold of my spark---my zest in my workplace. My joie de vivre when it comes to doing what I do for a living.

On one hand, my enthusiasm about my profession has greatly increased and I just want to keep achieving as much as I can.

On the other hand, I am fighting the distractions of my boss. My boss has done some things that just, well, break my spirit. I have had situations where any human being would ask me if I was ok, how I was doing, etc. My boss, however, shows at every turn, that they are ambivalent about me as an employee. They are slow to return normal conversations, appear uninterested, make negative comments, etc.

If this were just how my boss was, then it wouldn't be a big deal. But, it is hurtful when you come to work on crutches and your boss doesn't even bother to look up at you or ask you how you are doing. Yet, they have lengthy personal conversations with your fellow, equal colleagues, discuss personal events that they engage in together after hours, are more supportive of that colleagues succession through the ranks, etc.

It is so very hard to deal with when, on a daily basis, while my boss isn't outright unequal, my boss does tiny things to consistently show that as a person, they do not care for me. And it is okay to not like a person, but, it shouldn't transfer into the workplace.

When it is so blatant, how do you ignore it and focus on the importance of other things? I have tried to discuss this with my boss, but the feelings are so deeply ingrained, that my boss refuses to acknowledge any blame or guilt.

I kinda feel your pain here. My boss hates me. She complains about things that I do, and if I say someone else did it, she's perfectly ok with it. To be fair, I can't stand her either. Everyone except me is invited to her parties, and even her wedding. It doesn't bother me though. Since I don't like her and she doesn't like me, I don't need her to pretend by asking how I am or inviting me to events I'll never show up to anyway. Sometimes, the chemistry just isn't there. If they are fair to you professionally, I think you probably would do well to just not expect personal consideration from them and call it good enough. It sounds like there is professional respect, but co-workers don't have to be friends. Sorry you're struggling, but I'm glad you get to work in a field that you love.

milliondollarbbw, you and I seem to be in the same boat except I am out on maternity leave right now so the time away has been doing me lots of good, so much that I don't even want to return to work in January so I postponed my return date for May!

Honestly, if your boss makes you unhappy it's time to look for other options because as much as you may want him to change, he won't. People don't change overnight. They only get more arrogant especially if they know something they've been doing is affecting you personally. If you really love your job, then look for another one like it.

I should be taking my own advice. I started at work as a front desk receptionist, and worked my way up the ladder and became the department assistant manager. While my direct boss (department manager) was all for me getting the position, my head boss (General manager) wasn't. He didn't think I could handle it because he thought I wasn't a leader; the reason he thought that of me is because he had never really taken the time to get to know me as he did some of my colleagues. I got the position anyway (out of 2 other candidates); shortly after I got it, the manager ended up leaving on her maternity leave and I ended up as acting manager. It was great for me and I knew I could do it, but my boss never spoke out an encouraging word to me and that really affected me since I was doing all my best to prove him wrong.

I was acting manager for a year and a half until I ended up leaving on my mat leave. They gave the original manager a better position upon her return which left my department without a manager. And since I was only acting manager, upon her return and just before I left on mat leave, they placed me back to assistant manager. That was fine because that was my original description anyway. What really upset me a great deal is the fact that they made someone else manager (permanently), but not just anyone; they took someone that I was managing! So now how am I supposed to go back and be managed by someone who I was managing? I have always loved my job at this company, even as receptionist, but people (especially the GM) have really made me start questioning just how much I like it anymore. I think I could get that spark back if I just look for a new job in the same field.

Sorry for writing you a book here, but I guess my point is that you need to keep happy, and if you aren't, that can't and won't be good for you. Stress is very harmful.

Christine

I agree with what the both of you said.

Unfortunately, I do think that the boss' dislike of me personally, affects their ability to view me professionally. They are very slow to ever admit that I am skilled at what I do, and are a bit too eager to show any fault that I may have.

Don't get me wrong, I am far from perfect. But it is odd when I do something right and my colleagues make good comments about it, but my boss just gets all out of sorts.

Yet, another co-worker could do the exact thing, and my boss would probably send out an email about how great they are.

My boss also makes inappropriate put-down comments and it is all so very frustrating. Yes, I am keeping my head up and my eyes open for bigger and better.

I know what you mean, my boss also makes inappropriate put-down comments. I've also heard him make comments about others outside of the company - like, that woman is so big..., makes me wonder if that's what he thinks of me and if that's why he doesn't like me.

But good for you for keeping your eyes open for something better! I am going to do the same!