Sorry guys, but I am so angry with myself. These weekends binges are just so unacceptable at this point in my journey and I just can't seem to make then stop. It's only at night and it's only when I'm alone and stressed, sad or whatever. Last night and Friday my head just stop working it was literally trance like. I knew I didn't want to but my say no mechanism failed.
I'm at a complete loss and think I'm going to start meditating or something. I just can't take the guilt and self hatred aftermath anymore. This is over - cold turkey it has to stop....
ncuneo, I'm sorry that you are going through this. I still struggle from time to time as well. Please know that you are not alone. Luckily, you have pinpointed the times when you are most vulnerable. Now it's time to find solutions.
Are you tired during these times as well? I was able to overcome night-time overeating/binging about ten years ago when we put a tv in our bedroom. I know that is counterproductive to sleep and romance but in advertently cured my night-time overeating/binging. I cannot bring myself to eat either in or on top of my bed--it grosses me out. I hate crumbs in my bed! The kitchen is really far away from my bedroom upstairs. Sometimes I bring my laptop to bed with me and watch tv for the ultimate food distraction. You have to find something that works.
I concur on the gum... I have the same issue with weekends, particularly if I'm feeling bored or emotional for whatever reason. I probably go through a pack of gum a weekend, but almost never chew it during the week. Stride is nice since the flavor lasts pretty long~
You need to sit down during the week when you are in control and come up with things you enjoy doing besides eating and ways to deal with emotions besides food. I put each one on a slip of paper and put them is a little box. When I feel eating binges beginning, I draw a slip out and do that activity telling myself if I still want to eat after I finish, I can. It helps to have a craft or hobby you like to do to keep your hands and mind occupied.
Sorry guys, but I am so angry with myself. These weekends binges are just so unacceptable at this point in my journey and I just can't seem to make then stop. It's only at night and it's only when I'm alone and stressed, sad or whatever. Last night and Friday my head just stop working it was literally trance like. I knew I didn't want to but my say no mechanism failed.
I'm at a complete loss and think I'm going to start meditating or something. I just can't take the guilt and self hatred aftermath anymore. This is over - cold turkey it has to stop....
I think you need to stop telling yourself that this is out of your control, that your no mechanism failed, that your head stops working, etc. When you do that, you give up your power. You throw up your hands, "because it's not your fault",. But like you said bu&*))@T (or whatever you said ).
You are the only one that's putting that food in your mouth - no one is forcing you to. It's NOT an outer body experience. It's you. Which is good. Because if it was out of your hands, if it was out of your control, than you couldn't stop it.
How about the write it before you bite it method - no matter what, no matter what, NO MATTER WHAT? Or adding in some planned snacks and some planned activities.
How about you decide right this minute, what you will do (instead of eat) when this feeling overtakes you - call a friend, read a book, come to 3FC, take a bath, scrub the toilets, run in circles, whatever...
And may I ask, what is it that you are overeating? Junk? Although I know all too well that it can be healthy stuff as well. If it is indeed *junk*, get it out. OH-U-TEE. Out. Out. Out of the house.
I LOVE having a 20 calorie hot chocolate at night.. It's filling and it's my signal that eating is done for the day. There is no more. It really ends the muchies.
Take the bull by the horns. Lots of self talk - I'm not giving in, I'm not giving in, I'm NOT GIVING IN!!! Work past the uncomfortable moments. Don't give into that first bite. That first bite is key. You can't overeat or binge if there is no first bite involved.
You can do this. Well, yeah, of course you can. You can and you should and you will. You're not giving in. You're not giving in. You're not giving in.
You need to sit down during the week when you are in control and come up with things you enjoy doing besides eating and ways to deal with emotions besides food.
This is great advice. You are like a drinker trying to figure out how to abstain from drinking once he's in the bar. The key is to not go to the bar in the first place.
I think the biggest issue right now is I feel like I have no time to myself and I don't get a day off. I work full time and DH works all weekend day and night and I'm home with our 2 yr old which is a full time job in itself. I do all the cleaning, cooking, etc. as well. DH used to have his chores, which somehow have become mine as well. We talked about this recently because I'm getting really resentful about the fact that he gets one sometimes two days off while DH is a preschool. And he agreed he'd would help out more. But that still doesn't give me anymore time for myself. Right now I feel like everyone in my life constantly needs something from me, and I can never say no. But that's just life I guess if I'm not going to say no.
The food I'm over eating really isn't anything bad. DH does have some junk in the house, but oddly I don't touch that stuff anymore. It's mostly my DS's carby snacks which are all as high quality as I can get - organic, low sugar, whole grain. I can't eliminate that stuff because he's the pickiest eater on the planet and sustains on air, milk and breakfast cereal.
Gum used to work pretty well, but hasn't been so much lately.
It feels like I just don't let the self talk complete itself. I don't wait long enough to talk myself out of it. I feel the stress and the desire to self medicate with food and I give in, instead of stopping identifying the problem and reminding myself that the food is only a temporary fix and the aftermath is worse than the current emotion. Like right now my DS is throughing a fit for something stupid and I feel the anxiety building, but I just ran 9 miles this morning and had oatmeal with almonds, bananas and a splash of milk and I'm going to sit here til his tantrum passes and I relax. The sad part is, he's really a great toddler and compared to my friends, I've got it pretty easy, I feel like I should be able to handle this without turning to food.
So again in thinking meditation, self talk and maybe some St. Johns Wart! I really just don't have time for therapy, and I honesty don't feel like I'm going to have and revelations there. I know why I do it, I know what I need to do to stop, I just need to do it. I need to be stronger than my desire to eat. I have to remember how good it feels everytime I say no. Robin you once said you've never regreted not eating something - so true. This is in my control and telling myself otherwise is BS. I know sometimes it feels like I can't fight the desire to stuff myself, but I can always say no and follow through. This has to be a hard rule. There will be no binging and nothing will go in my mouth unless it's planned for. This is just the way it has to be. I love challenges and I take a lot of pride in completing goals. So this is going to be a new goal - like losing 120 lbs, running a half marathon, graduating college, etc. Maybe I should get a ticker, days since binge or something, I think my signature is too long already though...
You need to sit down during the week when you are in control and come up with things you enjoy doing besides eating and ways to deal with emotions besides food. I put each one on a slip of paper and put them is a little box. When I feel eating binges beginning, I draw a slip out and do that activity telling myself if I still want to eat after I finish, I can. It helps to have a craft or hobby you like to do to keep your hands and mind occupied.
Yes, I'm in serious need of a hobby. Running is about the only hobby I have right now. The biggest issue is time, there is none. But I used to love to read, I think I could do that while DS is playing or napping. I think I'll go to the bookstore today.
Is there any way you could get a babysitter for a few hours on the weekend? Or perhaps make a deal with another mom where you trade some babysitting? If eating "off-plan" is a sign of feeling like you are at the end of your rope, i'm sure it would help to carve off a little more time for yourself! Even if it is difficult to make it happen, for sure it would be worth it.
I think th Robin you once said you've never regreted not eating something - so true. .
What I said/say is "I have never, ever, not even one time regretted NOT eating something. Never." I have never looked back later and thought, gosh, why didn't I eat that.
In fact, I told myself those very words today. We were in the car, DH & I, headed towards my nieces birthday party. My SIL is a great baker and she always makes my favorite cookies - fudge marble with a puddle of chocolate in the middle. This can not be a splurge day for me, since I have another party tonight and did a little overindulging earlier in the weekend. Well, I psyched myself up in the car, reminding myself that I will not regret not eating those cookies and just how miserable I would be if I did. Got to the party - there they were. I turned away. I had some diet soda, maybe 10 grapes and 3 carrots sticks. I was thrilled to not eat those cookies and all the other stuff she ate there. It was the self talk. Actually, it's the self PRE talk. I use it before an event, so that by the time I get to the event, there's nothing to talk myself out of. It's not an option to eat it. I no longer even want it. I I use that pre-talk/self talk a LOT.
Now to deal with tonight's party.
Yes, get some books. Make yourself some quiet time. Some pampering tine. How about a nice bath? Manicure/pedicure? Some nice new lotions to slather on yourself. Maybe a little make up.
Find something to soothe yourself that accomplishes something POSITIVE, not just quick fix, which is no fix at all.
The 'no time for myself' thing is so familiar. (I need quite a lot of time to myself.)
I have two suggestions.
Firstly, start to say 'no' to some things. You cannot do it all and the world will not end if you don't ... (fill in the gap).
Secondly, plan something positive for yourself every day. Write it down. 'Today I will read a few pages of ...' 'Today I will have a bath with the green bubbles.' Then you can roll into action when an opportunity presents itself rather than just dealing with the shell shock.
Just wanted to offer hugs and that I feel ya! This entire weekend starting Thursday evening has been horrible off plan for me. I've probably gained 5 lbs! I know exactly what I did not do besides eat off-plan, I didn't exercise. I have 4 young kids and am in nursing school full-time and hubby is a firefighter, so I know the no time for Mommy theme very well. I am taking the initiative of joining a gym and just paying w/my part-time check...THIS WEEK...no more stalling. I feel awfully guilty like I should save the $$$ for the kids x-mas presents, etc. Anyways sorry for the rant but the time comes for us to give ourselves a break for our own health and sanity. Good luck!
This bu))$h*t is over!
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