How many of us have had that thought? That we werent good enough to get a guy based on our weight? Maybe your weight has made your self esteem so low that you wont even go for certain guys.....
Im opening this thread for girls to tell there stories on getting "that" guy, rejections they want to get off their chest, and fears and concerns about asking a guy out......
This is for support and building up our self esteem and letting go of our own self image we have of ourselves and hurtful comments guys have made about us!!!!!
I use to date a competitive body builder for just under 3 years. I was in better shape at the time, but still not skinny or thin by any means. After experiencing the subculture of the muscle world I was suprised at seeing all these big muscle dudes dating chicks with some meat on their bones, some just plain fat. haha I had went into the relationship feeling self conscious because the guy ate clean and went to the gym everyday, but it made me realize you don't have to be "thin" to be healthy and attractive to someone.
I've never had a guy tell me that HE wouldn't date me because I wasn't thin.
I've had other guys say that whatever crush I had at the time wouldn't date me because of my weight, but looking back I think that was just jealousy/bitterness that I didn't have a crush on THEM. Some guys are really effed up.
Totally thought my size was a big reason why so and so would not be interested in me when I was in in my teens up until around 22.
Now I realize that that was all in my head as most guys really do care about more than size. And a stick thin girl that we all seem to aspire to be as we're growing up is not what gets the attention.
There are some really good points already in this thread. I know in high school I always felt that the guys didn't pay attention to me because I was heavier. But you know what, I also didn't put a lot of effort into myself because I was heavier and being so down on myself was bad too.
I have come to realize that guys want a girl who is happy with herself and has good self esteem. Weight doesn't matter. And for the ones who do think weight matters - they are not worth my time. I know one guy who prefers really skinny girls - no idea why.
I know my boyfriend has said to me before he likes me the weigh am I. Granted I did get to my heaviest after meeting him - he also told me he didn't want me to be all gross skinny - just happy and healthy.
On another side of the story, I find myself attracted to guys with a bit of meat on their bones. Probably because I don't want to date a guy skinnier then me, LOL.
I agree with you on the "when I was heavier I didn't put in as much effort" front. I remember in highschool, I never had a boyfriend and I always put it on the fact that it was because I was a size 16. Nevermind the fact that I put zero time into my appearance. I'm now an 8/10 and while it is easier finding cuter clothes, I do put in more of an effort. That being said, there are guys out there who will not date "fat" girls just like there are girls out there who won't date "short" guys. Its kind of the same thing. Everyone is entitled to their preferences; however, no one should be rude about it. I can't say that I'm totally innocent on this front, as I will not date big guys up to a certain point, nor have I ever dated guys under 6'. I wouldn't rule them out, I just haven't experienced it, as I'm not really attracted to anyone in this mold. So I'm a jerk. Just my two cents.
I definitly feel that skinny girls get the guys. Guys want girls with hourglasses. Well I am an apple and than some, which is probably why I dont attract half the guys I wish I did, although I think its because I go for VAIN men who expect Perfect or close to perfect women so that is probably MY fault haha. Oh well....its a negative motivation but a motivation none the less...
whats worse is when you have a girl who is a friend say you got dissed by a guy because he likes super skinny girls...
=/ yeah i heard that with the last guy I liked and that stung alot so I am bitter.
I do think there are guys out there that just want an attractive girl....and sometimes someones view of attractiveness is being fit an having a decent body....Now I personally use this as motivation to lose weight....I want an attractive guy and I want to look good with that guy and not be worried about how he views me
Not all guys want a stick thin girl. My boyfriend is very supportive in my weight loss, but also tells me that I don't need to lose a thing, that I'm beautiful the way that I am. He made a comment once (based off of a conversation we were having with my dad) that when I lose weight, I don't want to go down to being a stick! He loves my curves, and there have got to be a lot of guys out there that love that. If they don't want to date somebody ONLY because they're too big, then they're just not worth the time of day.
I always felt this way... and when a guy liked me I always wondered why? In highschool I wore a size 6 and thought I was fat. I ask my mom now why she let me be that way?? Even into college I was in an 8, but was very insecure. I let guys take advantage of me too because of it.
Its one of those "I wish I knew then what I know now" situations. I wouldn't have let people walk all over me because I didn't think I was good enough.
I always thought that if I were thinner I would get the guy and that "skinny" girls had nothing to worry about. They could just get dressed in anything and it would fit. Didn't help that my friends were smaller than me.
See where I grew up I was introduced to alot of guys that wanted thin girls or girls with a toned hourglass figure..... I fit into that catagory for the longest time until the past 2 or 3 years....and now I really see the effects on how a guy can mentally destroy your self asteem.....I fought with my ex for the longest time with it he even made the comment "I have never been with a girl that wasnt teeny tiny" I was crushed and it took me a bit to relize that if that was all he cared about that he wasnt worth my time....that I should want to lose weight for myself and not for some guy.
My husband has said more than once he doesn't want me to get stick thin. He wants me to be happy with my body, of course, but he says most men don't want a sticky-thin girl.
I've always been bigger, and I've dated a lot, and am now married. That's probably the biggest problem I have - I have lots of self-confidence and actually usually like the way I look. I have nice hair, I put effort into my makeup, and I try to wear things that flatter me. So since I am confident in myself, it makes it hard to stay motivated. I try to remind myself that even though I'm confident, I'd be even more confident if I was thinner.
I think guys like confidence, honestly. If you're big but you've got an amazing personality, that's half the battle. My best friend is a stick but has zero confidence - and is almost 26 and has never dated anyone.
Skinny Girls Get The Guy
