[CuteCuddlyJalapeno]

Hi I am new here!! Just signed up today and started calorie counting again Monday and am already struggling to keep on track!!! I am a emotional eater and it is a cycle!! I was wondering how other deal with comments about their weight? I'm 27 and about 35 pounds overweight and it might seem like not that much but I gain weight all on my upper body so it look Like I weigh a lot more than I do. I have been dieting since I was 17 since that is about when I really starting gaining weight and since then people have made comments to me about it. People always make comments to me about how I look Like i've gained weight or insinuate that I am not a slim (I usually get this one a lot). I DO NOT understand why some people, especially relatives think its okay to do this, how is it supposed to make me feel?!!! I guess they don't think about it. I have no self confidence and anytime I start to have some, somebody makes a comment and blah its gone and I want to eat....... Anyhow I was wondering how others deal? Thanks so much everyone!!!!

[ap90]

I totally understand what you're talking about.. for me it's not so much that someone says i've gained weight.. but for me it's relatives asking "how come you don't go to the gym anymore?" ... like HELLO I get what you're insinuating and it really is a big blow to self confidence.. usually what keeps me going is that these people are all gonna have to hold their tongue when i'm done losing weight.. cause really there is no other way to handle it.. Personally I don't like commenting on people's physical appearance unless it's a nice thing because I know how it feels to have mean words thrown at you.. so it's not like me to say something equally as mean back.. I just think to myself that when I'm skinny and hot who's gonna wish she'd hit the gym with me

However, if it is getting to a point for you where your self esteem is really damaged then you should express your feelings. I understand how hard it is when the person you have to say this to is related to you but you know it gets to a point where enough is enough. Just say it nicely that you'd appreciate it if they didn't criticize your physical appearance cause you don't criticize theirs.

If that's just not an option well.. what's this forum for!! come here and vent and get support like you are now from everyone else who is going through the same thing!

[Stella]

I am with you, but you are doing something about it now, so hopefully, this helps you to be less affected by it. You`ll show them!

Have you ever asked them to refrain from making such comments?

[CuteCuddlyJalapeno]

Hi Guys Thanks so much for your comments! I am trying hard this time to stay on track this time. I don't like conflict so I usually don't say anything, sometimes I don't even know what to say because I am so surprised or upset by the comment, I try hard to act like it doesn't bother me but sometimes it's hard. I always think and wonder what and how do people think pointing out the obvious is going to make someone feel? Do they think I will feel good about myself after they make a comment? I think some people flat out don't care how things they say effect others and I guess some think they are helping me, because they feel they need to point out that I am gaining weight or am heavier than I used to be and by pointing out I will be so embrassed that I will do something about it. Why do they have the right to tell me how I should look though....? Instead it actually makes me not confident at all and I want to eat more to be comforted and before you know it I have gained back some weight and then some. Sorry for the venting. I really appreciate your comments Ap90 and Stella!!!!!!

[hometowngirl]

I understand how you feel. When your feelings get hurt you just want to go eat more. I hate when my sister says things like "You can borrow my jacket if it will fit you. If not I have a bigger jacket you can use." She does this all the time about different things; shirts, jeans, etc... I think it's rude.

[goodforme]

These are going to be the same people making stupid comments when you're close to goal. "You should stop losing weight, you're looking sick," or "What happened to you, you're so different." Don't let their stupidity stop you from making it! Someone is always going to have something to say, but you don't have to choose to let it bother you. . .just saying.

[three herring]

I use to feel hurt, but I decided that it is healthier for me to stay in a reality zone about it. I am obese. So if anyone comments, I can understand their perception. However, I don't allow anyone to think it is okay to talk about my weight or how I eat and will say the subject is off limits if it makes me feel uncomfortable. Some people are easier to talk about it with, others make me angry. My body belongs to me, my eating is my business.

I have to say though, that I rarely get comments now. My Mother who has brow beaten me all of my adult life about my weight, became suddenly mute when I actually did lose weight. So weird. Some times we don't realize how much our weight/body size is about power and control to others. I notice that women friends can be the worst when it comes to catty remarks when our weight balance shifts. A friend who was always thinner than me became a wicked witch when I became thinner than her. Sad.

Create your own boundaries when it comes to your body and diet.