I know some people who can say "oh yeah, I'm on a diet" or "I've lost 30 pounds so far!" In fact, I feel like most people do that...
I, however, can't talk about weight with anyone besides my mother without feeling absolutely mortified. I'm scared that when I start losing weight people will notice. Is that weird? I mean I obviously want to look better, but I don't want people to notice that I'm trying to change my weight. It's so weird now that I write it down and read it, but I've always been like that. I could never tell people that I'd lost 20 pounds or whatever... I would rather die than do that.
I understand how you feel. Part of it could be that we're afraid of failing and having people notice that. Another thing is the acknowledgement of the fact that yes, we're overweight.
I feel exactly the same way! I don't talk to anyone about it (especially not my mother, you're lucky there!).
I'm starting to feel like people are going to start noticing soon, and it freaks me out. That's actually part of the reason I'm okay with losing really slowly--I feel that people will not be as likely to notice if the lose is slower! (I'm losing slowly for other reasons, but it's totally an added bonus!)
I'm definitely in the same boat as you. I talk to my partner about it (obviously), but otherwise there's not a lot of people that I even see on a regular enough basis that they would notice (I'm hoping to be at my goal weight when I start school in the fall). A few weeks ago, my partner mentioned my weight loss to my in-laws at dinner, and I was completely mortified, plus then they all wanted to talk about it, and I didn't know what to do. So, long story short, no advice for you, but you're not alone.
When I was fat-fat, I never, ever talked about weight. I've worked with these women for almost a decade, they all talk about weight and diets endlessly, they all look exactly the same. I don't want to be perceived as part of that crowd.
It makes me really uncomfortable to talk about weight with anyone besides my boyfriend. And at first I couldn't even talk to him about it. I mean, I don't mind telling people how I'm losing weight or talking about health-related issues (IF THEY ASK, I don't like bringing it up), it's just that I feel like I see those types of things way differently than most of the people I know see them. I'm thinking about weight loss constantly, all the time, always. So when people ask, I get really nervous and I'm not sure what to say or how to say it without sounding like I'm bragging or making them feel bad. Or without sounding like my life revolves around weight loss.
I also get really nervous when people comment on how good I look or how much weight I've lost. I guess I just feel uncomfortable knowing that people are looking at me and focusing attention on me.. BUT on the other hand, those comments make me feel like I'm making progress (even if I can't see it) and it makes me feel good to know that people notice.
AHHH I guess I feel a variety of emotions about talking about weight loss, ha ha! I think handling the comments has gotten easier over time, so don't worry. I bet it'll get less-horrifying as time goes on and you get used to it.
I only had 25 to lose so maybe I am different but I didn't talk about it because I work with all guys. They would rather die than talk about anything personal.
With others I would just say that I was trying to eat in a healthy way cause fast food or junk food was giving me digestive issues. When my pants looked like clown pants, people caught on that I had lost weight.
Just work the healthy angle. No one can argue with that. They can't say, Oh you don't need to lose weight because you are working on health not weight!
Last edited by Big Mama 26; 03-18-2010 at 08:59 PM.
for me, it has to do with throwing me off focus. If I talk about how much weight I've lost I get too focused on the number which makes me think about how far I have left to go. I REFUSE to tell people how much I've lost!!
My husband knows I am actively trying, and perhaps 1 or 2 closer friends who've been to my house and see the living room mess of DVDs and fitness whatnot.
But I save any detailed discussion for the forum because everyone here is working it in their own way.
I don't need people in real life all in my business or putting me under the microscope. It isn't that I'm ashamed or embarassed, I just feel like there are obstacles enough to handle without adding extra social ones.
So far I haven't lost enough for many to comment -- I had one make friend ask me in a nice way if I'd changed something... new clothes, new hair, etc.
But I know from past experience that there will come the time when I've lost enough where it can't be hidden and I assume by then I'll have gotten past some of the "just starting again" obstacles so my path can handle the new upcoming social obstacles without me feeling burdened by too much at once.
I can't even fill up the fingers on one hand who knows I'm dieting. I love my friends, and I trust just about everyone... but there's just something uncomfortable in the air when diets are discussed.
Personally, I hate when other people bring up that they're on a diet. It makes me feel bad about myself, sceptical that they're 'doing it right' (ie, fad dieting or weight loss pills), and doubtful that they'll stick with it. Let's face it, SO many people start diets, but I'd wager to bet that most of them give it up before three weeks are up. And I realize this is a very bitter response... but I'm guessing it's not an uncommon one either.
My daddy always said "I'll believe it when I see it" and I guess I got that from him so I'll let other people figure it out for themselves.
Not to mention, when people know you're on a diet, they analyze everything you put in your mouth. "You aren't eating enough carbs," "you're not getting enough nutrients," "you can't eat that, it's loaded with fat!" AND for some silly reason, it turns the table discussion onto healthy eating. Heck, when my father slimmed down last summer (it wasn't a dramatic change, but still noticeable) and bulked up on muscle, everyone wanted to talk nutrition to him.
Sometimes I wish there was an on-off switch for dieting discussion. But there isn't. So I opt to not talk about it. Except on here, of course
Last edited by Wild Vulpix; 03-18-2010 at 09:32 PM.
I'm conflicted on this topic, and it really depends on who I'm talking to.
On here, I obviously love talking about weight. I love saying how much I've lost, my eating and exercising strategies, etc. I also have certain girl friends that I love talking about weight stuff with. It's kind of the same thing as 3FC, I know they're actively trying to lose weight or maintain, so we talk about calories, pounds lost for the week, how much we'd kill for a burger and fries and so on.
However, there are others who I'm close with but I don't want to divulge the details. My dad and boyfriend, for example. I talk to them about losing weight and getting healthy, and they're behind me 100%, but I don't want them to know my numbers, lol. My boyfriend has been deployed in Iraq since October, and the last time he saw me, I was at my highest weight. By the time he sees me in July, I'll hopefully be at goal weight. That's 43lbs...I'm going to tell him I've lost 20lbs, haha.
With most friends and people I know, I'm sure they notice, and that's alright. If they say something, I say "thank you for noticing," but I change the subject. If they ask how I did it (my boss asked me how I got skinny...it was awkward), I simply tell them something lame like "since my boyfriend has been deployed, I don't eat out as much" or something.
i only talk to like 2 other friends about this im mortifiyed of people knowing im on a diet i dont want them to notice ANY diffrence untill the very end .... its humiliating to me i also hate the tell tale signs ( IE ) walking around with my own snacks and measuring cups its so embarassing .... but sometimes i chalk it up to i dont care and itll be worth it in the end so all the judgemental ppl can kiss it ....
I'm often in the company of people who are working on novels, short stories & poems, and sometimes I'm also surrounded by painters & sculptors.
It's common for them to bring up in passing things they're working on.
One very insightful friend said: "The people who just don't want to talk about their work are the ones who are serious & are really getting something done. They don't want to talk it all out & let it go into the air without realizing it. They don't want to jinx it. Particularly when it's new. When it's well along, sometimes they'll start talking about it. But they tend to protect the newborn stuff."
After a while, I saw this was often the truth. The people that sit around bull****ting endlessly about their novel (not yet written) often never write it.
Weight loss was like that for me. It was my big secret project & I was determined that I was going to just shut up & do it.
When I decided to stop sighing hopelessly about how hard losing weight was, or telling jokes on myself about my love of food, or commiserating endlessly with other heavy women & men, and I just. shut. up.
Does anyone else HATE talking about weight?
