[Just]

Hey everyone,

I am 27 and 355 lbs right now. My life has been a roller coaster of extremes with my weight. I have been my ideal weight, gained, lost, gained, lost and gained up until my highest of 367.

I have been on my current journey for about 5 months and i haven't really put my heart into it, i make excuses for not exercising or for why its okay to eat two or more meals at once at a drive thru. There's always an excuse for everything and i am always looking elsewhere to blame for my weight. My childhood, tragedies in my life, my partner, my current living environment...... it's never just me being out of control and avoiding the truth, hiding it in a big mac or something.

Yesterday i was looking at some older pictures of me (about 4-5 years ago) and how slim i was, i had knees! and i remember even then i wasn't happy with my body, there was always the feeling of needing to lose weight.

I need to do this now. I have watched some of the most precious years of my life slip by while i stuff my face and sit around saying 'i can't do that, im too fat'. I want to hit my 30's and feel 30, not 60. I want to be okay having photos taken. As it stands, there are lots of scenic photo's of places i have been, lots of my pets but only a handful of ME over the last 5 years. I want to be okay having my picture taken with my nieces and pets, with my partner or just pictures of me in the places i have been. I want to do more. I sit in front of the tv saying 'one day, i will do this or that' but that day is getting further and further away. I need to end this now.

I hope that being here can help me move forward. Tomorrow never comes so i am starting this afresh today. My biggest hurdle is lack of support, motivation and accountability. Hopefully this site can help with that.

Thank you!

[Mom2TCS]

Hi Just! Welcome to the forum. I think just taking the first step to write out your story and post it can be a change in mindset to help you get started. It's in writing, and others can read it -- now you can begin your journey and not feel so alone. You'll find tons of support and great ideas here, and if you need accountability, there are people here willing to do that too. I've only been part of the community for a couple of weeks but I'm so impressed by the caring, concern, and support offered on this site.

I know what you mean about pictures. I have very few of me. I like to say it's because I'm the one always taking the photos, but when I do see photos I'm in, I don't like them and I want to change that. I think of my kids, and what it would be like if something happened to me...they would have hardly any photos to remember me by. I do sometimes think of how great it will be to have my picture taken with my kids, or some place we are on vacation, etc. and feel GOOD about it. That in itself is motivation. :-)

I look at today as the first day of the rest of your life. Your journey has begun with your post, and now the power is in your hands. You can do it!

[snoopy123]

Hi and welcome. Your story sounds like mine and I bet a lot of other people that read this. If is a huge word that I ponder all of the time. Why is probably 2nd. I think that by joining this site and putting your thoughts down it definately makes us more accountable. I am proud of you for wanting to get healthy for you and a bonus would be to take a picture at different levels of this journey. I for one am going to take this 5lbs. at a time. My biggest problem was wanting to lose 100lbs the first week and when that didn't happen well then it will never happen. Now at 43 I have taken more steps backwords than forwards and am tired of missing out on everything fun because I am too embarressed to either go to functions because nothing fits or spend all of the time at the function wondering what everyone is thinking of the fat girl. No more! I am taking back control and hope that you will join me on the journey. Good luck.