.......from her food addictions. She weighs over 600 pounds and has been in the hospital for the last 6 months because she was no longer able to care for herself. She is 63. 14 years older then me and was a second mom to me.
Sadly we had not talked since 2002 after our own mother's funeral. She had a way of pulling guilt trips on me (like our mother did to us) and I wanted no part of it anymore so I quit speaking to her for a while. Years went by. Last summer, before she went into the hospital I wanted to send my sister an old photograph of her and I that I found. She was 16 in the photo and I was 2 and we were sitting side by side on the couch. She was so thin and beautiful then. Unfortunately as she got older she put on weight (as all of us here has) due to carb addictions. I never did mail that picture. I will be getting it copied to give to her girls....my nieces.
Yesterday the doctors removed my sister's breathing tube. Her kidneys have shut down and her body is shutting down. I am so sad because my mobility is so bad from my morbid obesity that I cannot even get to Toronto to see her...to say goodbye before she is gone.....to hold her hand...kiss her cheek and stroke her hair. To whisper in her ear that I love her and I am sorry for not talking to her sooner and to tell her that her death will not be in vain. To tell her she is loved.
If I can say one thing to everyone here.....please please do not cheat on your woe. It is 100% not worth it. I did and regained my weight and am headed down the same path as my older sister. I swear I will never cheat again because from this day on, I will think of Leeana.
I love you big sister and will miss you. I hope my post helps anyone who eats for comfort. After my sister passes, I will never do that again. Eating a large bag of chips (or whatever food you turn to) is no comfort when people are dying from obesity related causes that are so preventable.
Last edited by canadianwoman; 02-17-2010 at 03:47 AM.
omg im so sorry to read this my eyes started tearing up ...
there is nothing i can do or say to make you feel better i know how hard this must be for you and how many things you must regret .... even though you cannot be there with her call her if you can ... if not maybe putting all your feelings into words and overnight mailing them to her may help put your mind at ease ?
im so sorry you have to go through this god be with you and your family at this time ..... im so so sorry
I am so sorry for your loss. My mom died last Easter from cirrhosis so I completely understand the excrutiating pain of losing someone because of addiction, food or otherwise. Especially if you guys were on the outs, just like my mom and I were. If you need anything, please pm me.
So sorry for your loss. I understand what is like to watch someone eat themselves to death. I have a brother who is well over 500 lbs and refuses to do anything about it. Do not let guilt eat you up. When all is said and done we all wish we could have, should have, would have done things differently but I just know your sister would not want you to feel guilty about not being there now or about past hurts.
Never say never...it sets us up to fail. All or nothing thinking is not the way to go. Think of your new journey as just that. You will have slip-ups but that is ok. When that happens pick yourself up, dust yourself off, & move on.
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I too think a phone call to your sister would help both of you, give you both a chance to bask again in the love you have for each other.
I have on esuggestion that give you a little bit of peace since your unable to be with your sister physically. Hearing is the last sense to go prior to passing away and we actually have quite a few family members send letters for the nurses to read to the patient. Maybe you could write your sister a letter telling her all of the things that you want to say to her and have a nurse read it to her.
I thank you for posting this here. I'm definitely a food addict and have turned to food so many times. You are a kind person and it sounds like you have learned a lot from this very sad experience. I hope you will manage to contact your sister. Sending you big hugs.
Read this if you turn to food for comfort
god be with you and your family at this time ..... im so so sorry
