[raeannmae]

or perhaps good night? In Las Vegas right now, I'm reading the current time as 12:31a. My name is Rae-Ann and I've spent the last four hours researching just about every fake out weight loss program there is.

I've come to the realization that I'm just not ok with who I am anymore. It's not just the weight I've gained-- it's the person I've become because of it.

To be honest, I'm just unhappy with myself and what I've become. I don't feel like me anymore, and I'm hoping by reaching out I can get back what I've lost, and lose some of what I've gained.

I want to be able to go outside with my four year old brother and jump on the trampoline for more than 6 minutes. I want to talk to my 16 yr old sisters about self confidence without being a hypocrite. I want my boyfriend to be able to look at the woman he fell in love with. I want to inspire my mother to take initative in her life and try to reach her goals. And mostly, I just want to be able to look in the mirror and feel healthy, feel happy.


My whole life I've never been tiny. This isn't about becoming a size two for me. I know that there are unrealistic expectations, and that the results I want will take time and effort. But I'm ready and willing to do that. To start today. No more last midnight snacks, or sneak trips to get $1 sundaes. I want to be back in control of my life. I'm not sure how to get started, but I'm hoping to just jump right in and see where the path takes me.


When I first met Dustin I was a senior in high school. My average weight at that time was 150-160lbs. I was still fairly active, a work-a-holic, an honor student and quite social. At the time I felt huge, but since then have realized it was a good size for me. At my best, I think I was down to 145 and a size 7/9 and I was comfortable.


Right now I'm 20 years old and weighed in at the doctors today 200.9lbs wearing size 15 jeans. To be honest, I'm not really sure what happened. But somewhere along the time line I just let myself go.

After graduating, Dustin and I moved to Reno together and got our first apartment. It was a dream come true for me as I began my role as Susie-homemaker always in the kitchen cooking something. My mother always told me the key to a man's heart was through his stomach. And so I picked up cooking skills at a young age. What I must have missed was the advice on how to stay thin while cooking.

All along I've noticed small changes in my size. It wasn't as if I woke up last week and said holy heck what happened? I guess I never realized how much I had gained until I saw those numbers staring up at me. Taunting me.


Well I'm done with it. The changes start now, start today. This isn't about looking perfect, it's about being healthy and I'm ready to find a way to be me again. I'm hoping to find some good advice and support along the way. I made up my mind today that this is it. And I'm glad to have stumbled across this website.

Thanks.

[Lil Judy]

raeannmae, Welcome!

Good for you to take care of this once and for all by taking one step at a time. You can do this. Set small goals and add them all together for one big GOAL.

My best to you.
Judy

[jigglefree]

Welcome. Good to have you!!

[leeway]

Hi Rae-Ann!
So many here understand how you feel and have been (or are) where you are now - how smart of you to make your priority health and not a diet or a number and also to set realistic, attainable goals - you are off to a great start with those small changes, they can lead to big results - the support you need to achieve your goals is here - we'll all be here to cheer you on.

Glad to have you join us! There are lots & lots of different groups and forums - I'm sure you'll find some that will keep you motivated and inspired. Try the 20 somethings and the weight loss support forums, they're active and very helpful - also the Success stories are a definite must for motivation.

There are bunches of people here with more to lose and some with less - the bottom line is that we all have to do it a day at a time. The good thing is that we'll have lots of company along the way.

I've only been here since last fall, having NEVER been part of an online forum. What has been so eye-opening is how much it has helped me. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or defeated, I just log on and read some of the success stories, complete with their before & after photos - or read about others still dealing day to day with their challenges - and before I know it, the time has flown by and so have all the thoughts of going off track or giving up. It has made all the difference in my success so far.

So welcome - you've found the right place - join in by inspiring us and being inspired!

All the best - good luck with your goals,
Lee

[raeannmae]

Thanks everyone for you welcoming words. It's been a crazy day, but it's a new day and the start of a new life. I walked into work this morning, after a healthy breakfast, and regular coffee (no more Starbucks for me!!) to find a dozen double chocolate chip muffins on the counter. For a while I felt like they were just staring at me. I know that sounds crazy. When it was time for my break, I actually signed onto this website and read the replies from all of you, and I was motivated to not eat those stinkin' muffins. I know it's only a small step, but I have a feeling this place will help me alot. Thanks everyone for your support already.

[LotusMama]

Hi, Rae-Ann, and welcome!

Cheers,

J