Hi, everyone

My name is alyssamichelle and I am new to this forum. I decided to join for motivation for myself and to help support others in this journey that we are all on. I am just starting out, so this is going to be quite difficult for me. I have a tendency of defeating myself before even starting. But, I am trying to be different this time. I NEED to be different this time.
I have no idea how I got this way. I 'let myself go' as they say. But, deep down, I know there is a skinny girl inside. Let's see...speaking numerically...I am 27 years old, 5'4, 237 pounds, bmi is 37.5 (I think, or 39) and my bra size is 38F (important as I am either gonna lose these boobs naturally or I'm going to have some of them removed surgically).
I looked at myself in the mirror the other day and really saw how fat I am. I think there had to be some sort of a waiting period after having my two kids (4 y/o and 2 y/o) before I could stop tricking myself. I'm not happy with what I see in the mirror or how I feel everyday. So, that brings me here. I'm ready to change. Plus, what I'm going to school for (I go full-time and work full-time, also), I need to be in shape to be able to run, be physically strong, and be emotionally/mentally strong.
I'm being honest with myself and other people now. It's quite scary, but I think that denial has been my biggest feat (besides food and lack of exercise). Anyway, I think I've talked enough for right now. I hope to get to know you all along the way.