So me and the bf ended it the other day, well I moved out... Now im completely depressed. I miss him a lot and have been trying not to take it out on food, in fact the first two days I barely ate anything and yesterday and today I feel the need to stuff my face with snacks. I am currently job hunting and stressed out about rent for nov. etc. and feel horrible. I know you ladies have been through break ups and I know they're hard... I just didn't know it would be THIS hard when I was the one that left. I know we arn't meant to be, but I miss being with someone - I lived with him (mistake #2). Any advise to get myself back again? I feel like crawling into a deep dark cave to hibernate for the next year.
I'm so sorry lady, those are never easy, I think, at any age.
I don't know what I would do w/o my bf. We've been together 4 years, and I can say that I would never leave him. I would hope he'd never leave me..
Saying that, if he were to leave me, I imagine I'd be more distraught than he would be, so I would think he (being the one who was left, is more distraught than maybe you are) so try to understand that. If you go back to him to fill your lonely void that would be you being selfish and trying to put a bandaid on a huge wound. You are doing the right thing and things only get better with time. Time is the only healer in these cases.
Stay strong, you are a stronger person than me. I've been in some relationships staying around even though I knew I shouldn't have, but I was too weak to leave, and too afraid to be lonely!
You are going to gain so much strength from this. And as for him, and maybe feeling bad for his suffering, he is going to thank you in a year, for doing the right thing. You both will benefit from this if its' truly not meant to be!
last bad break up I had i did hybernate for a while- i would cut yourself some slack and do that for a few days Its natural to feel horrible and just want to curl up into the foetal position, so I would indulge yourself in that, then after a couple days start picking yourself up. I would try to keep exercising if you can, it might make you feel better And might get you around other people, which can be good for the loneliness. I went for long long walks every day for weeks after mine, maybe that can help, i found it really good for clearing your mind and just having time to think about things.
I'm so sorry about your breakup. Breakups were always hard for me because I have separation anxiety so even when we needed to breakup I would be a mess for such a long time afterward. Just think of it this way---You now have the time to focus on yourself. Focus on getting at the weight you want to be and making yourself healthier. Give yourself some you time. Do things that make you happy. You may miss him for a while, but you have to know--you will always find someone else who will love you even more!!!
Breakups are THE WORST even if you know it is the right decision. I broke up with my boyfriend (of a long LTR) in January... as in 9 months ago... and it is still hard even though I broke up with him. Of course you will miss him because he was a big part of your life even if he wasn't the perfect puzzle piece for you - but by taking your feelings out on food you won't help yourself in the long run even though it is SO FREAKING HARD. [side note... I am writing this drinking a giant cup of hot chocolate as I have been going through a family crisis and am medicating with food. "hello, pot? It's the kettle calling. You're black"]. It might be good to have one night with girlfriends where you drink a crapload of wine, have some delicious dessert/dinner, and cry/talk/laugh/sob without feeling guilty for what you have had, however, because nights like that are a part of life!
What really helped me was joining a new class at the gym, spending time with my family, and letting my friends know that for 2 weeks I really didn't want to spend significant amounts of time alone.
I really wish you all the best in getting through this difficult time in your life - you CAN do it!
He closed our joint account... well the account he added me on and I texted him about it... I know i shouldn't have. I feel so heart broken. I do think its the right thing, but maybe not at the right time. I feel like he's lied to me... he HAS lied to me, so that should be enough to stay away RIGHT?
I broke up with my ex in January. We had been together for 8 years. The best advise I can say...It's tough, but you can get through it. Post on here, talk to friends, talk to your family but don't talk to him. You know he's not right for you, so let go of him. It's a hard process, and it doesn't happen overnight. Just know there are people here for you
When my last ex and I broke up, it was like the hardest thing I think I've ever had to do. (this was years ago and i've been with my current bf for 3 yrs, lol).
I was sick and tired of being a doormat..someone to use for $$ and basically being treated like S$%!. He worked away and was on his time off at home..and when he went back to work I realized..I had had enough. Actually it was after my grandfather's funeral that I realized that life is too short to be with someone who is going to make me miserable. I packed all of my belongings...called him up and told him it's over...I couldn't be put through anything else. I had a new place rented and the day after he came home I moved out.
I know what you're going through...it's hard..some days you will miss him like crazy while other days you will be glad for moving on. Remember you're a strong person and you will get through this! Keep yourself busy and try to do things that will occupy you. I even had to make a mental note of pro's and cons of being with him. Of course the cons won..lol.
Wishing you lots of luck!!!!!
** I agree..stay away! I would make up reasons to have to go back..thinking I forgot something..to borrow some pots...(I basically had to start over)..lol...and each time it was harder and harder..finally I had to tell myself "enough is enough....you're over and done with him!"
Last edited by angelanicole23; 10-08-2009 at 10:05 PM.
If he lied to you once, he will lie agin and again. Stay away from him and concentrate on yourself. You have had some good advice here. It will be tough for awhile but it will get better . Try not to dwell on him and the breakup.
Just ride it out....these things are not supposed to be easy! I'd give yourself a few days to just live in the moment, cry, hate life for a few...then pick up and move on.
Everyone needs a little time to make peace with it!
That being said, I'm sorry to hear about your situation but if it's the best thing for you, that's what you should focus on!
Sorry to say that time is the only cure but it will pass and so will this. Don't eat!! That is not the answer. If you eat your self happy (no such thing) you will be miserable a lot longer. Skinny girl=confident girl. confident girl... quicker refund.
Help! Break up
Its natural to feel horrible and just want to curl up into the foetal position, so I would indulge yourself in that, then after a couple days start picking yourself up. I would try to keep exercising if you can, it might make you feel better 
