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I'm not quite sure how not to retain a lot of water if I can't drink lots
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If you don't drink a lot of water then you might be retaining BECAUSE you're not drinking enough. One way to get rid of excess water is to drink water. I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but it actually makes sense. If your body doesn't get enough water, it will hold on to what you give it - camel-like!

Also if you're not getting enough water, the level of salts and other minerals in your body become more concentrated, which means you retain water as well.
When you drink enough (and enough is subjective - it's a different amount for everyone), your body will be more likely to not hang on to every little drop you give it.
I don't tend to go by oz or cups or any hard measurements. I judge if I'm getting enough by the color/smell of my urine. If it's a pale straw-yellow color and relatively odorless, then I'm doing ok. If it's darker and/or has a stronger odor, then I need to drink more.
If you're getting headaches and weird symptoms from drinking a lot of water, it's likely that you're drinking too much and creating an electrolyte imbalance by over-diluting the salts/minerals in your body. Again, what "too much" is, is subjective and will be different for everyone. It's also possible that what you're eating is not providing enough of those minerals, so drinking more water exacerbates the problem.
Every person has a different "balance point" of what works for them. It depends on how much water you get from food sources, how much you drink, how much sodium you consume, etc., etc., etc. And for women especially, it changes over the course of your cycle so what worked last week might not work this week.
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