ok folks. here goes. another aspect of FOOD pathology!!!! i used to be the chief cook for the family from about the age of 8. gained weight, lost weight, gained weight, lost weight, gained, gained, gained. during the LOSING cycles, i'd be obsessed with feeding everyone else except me.
ok. fast forward. surgery in 2002. lost lost lost. and then the alzheimer's mom started getting worse, and unable to open the refrig and get something to eat. soooo, i made sure she had food - in whatever way possible. whether it was fixing plates and putting them in the frig, or having them delivered, or having someone there, mom got fed. my weight maintained.
and NOW, mom's passed away. and it's just me. soooo, after a brief period of time in which i was interested in feeding myself a bit better - still not overboard - something BIZARRE has happened!!! i seem to be determined to FEED THE OFFICE!!!!!!
candy. chips. popcorn.
HELP!!!!!!!! what am i doing here??????? it's gotta stop!!!! i cannot continue to live my life FEEDING people -
Jiffy Jiffy Jiffy!
When did you go steal my pathology??? I thought I left it in my other Purse!
I think when we're used to taking care of others who need to be fed/be reminded to eat. We show our love via food and indeed the effort to procure/provide/prepare.
I'm now putting forth effort NOT to put thought and effort into my cooking. . .(that is to break the food--> Effort--> Love connection) It's hard!
Step away from the snackage! you're coworkers will be as well nourished as poss without you toting tempting treats I promise!
It's strange...I don't know if anybody watched Grey's anatomy... but the girl Izzy in it used to deal with bad feelings by baking (not eating) and when her flat mates would come home they'd find dozens and varies of cobbler cakes all over the flat
Maybe you just enjoy cooking and it distracts you from the eating - or maybe KO is right. Are there any other hobbies you could do that wouldn't mean feeding your entire office? (though it does sound nice, I wish I had a generous chef working in my office )
I have this problem. I love food so much that I love to cook and bake for others to see the joy that they get out of eating the foods that I refuse to eat too much of (I honestly have to have at least a taste of what I make)...it's just a little joy that it provides me that I can provide others with the good taste of homemade foods that they don't normally get. Of course...my boss made me promise to not make anything until after he finishes the NYC Marathon at the end of July....soooo...I'm on cooking/baking hiatus so as not to lose my job!
Some people are natural hosts/hostesses.
The problem with feeding people is if you are insistent and/or take in personally when someone turns down your fat-laden food.
My grandmother likes feeding people to the point where it seems like an obsession. It can be rather frustrating because I'm overweight and try to carefully monitor my food. When I say "no, thanks" to cake or some other similar fattening stuff, she gets insistent and offers the food repeatedly. She does this to everyone, even people she knows are trying to lose weight. At the same time she's very critical of fat people. She worked really hard to fatten up my children in this manner - then turns around and insults their chub every chance she gets.
I think it has alot to do with how you are raised. I am a youngin' only 28 but I cook for my neighbor when his wife works second shift. What is funny is that my husband works second shift and then my neighbor comes over for dinner. Hmm wonder what the other neighbors are thinking. We just have a non-verbal agreement. I cook for him when he's alone and he always brings over a slice or two of whatever baked good he decided to whip up that week. I happened to make a pineapple upside down cake this weekend and took him 1/2 of it because I couldn't figure out how to cut the recipie without giving myself a migraine. We just share whenever we can because of convenience.
I think it comes from my mother. Dinner was always at 5 o'clock. If we still had friends over they were welcome to stay for dinner and somehow we never ran out or had a gazillion leftovers. I still haven't figured out that trick.
My family is either trying to lose weight, has one form of diabetes or another or has had surgery (me) so we have gotten out of the habit of bringing food to get togethers...BUT I did get a thrill when I made my brother a SF lowfat frap the other day and he loved it...I think it's the same kind of thing.
Can't kill the food obsession I suppose and only duct tape it and throw it in the closet!
Angela
Last edited by missangelaks; 07-01-2008 at 12:50 PM.
Maybe you can look up healthy snacks that are easy to make and still "feed" people that? Little fruit cups, etc. I thikn it would be cute, healthy, and you can still feed people to your heart's content!
I'm 43 and my mom still does that.
We went there last night and she has to ask about 40 times if you want anymore food.
And her poor husband, she'd put food on his plate and he'd say that's enough and then she'd put another spoonful on his plate. He's gained weight since they got married.
She also "had" to make brownies served with ice cream.
She told me once that when she was growing up they were lucky to have beans and cornbread for supper, so I think now she overcompensates for that. My son said his stomach hurt last night from eating so much. I worry that if anything ever happens to me and she has to raise my kids, that they'll wind up overweight like me and my brother did Sorry, this seems to have turned into a rant.
I think we just need to realize that food is not love.
thank you all for your comments - it's been really strange. it started with small amounts of candy - in memory of mom - and then it's escalated. it's never been HUGE - maybe brownies every couple of MONTHS, and a couple of boxes of crackers during a month - but the bags of chips and shopping bags of candy HAVE TO STOP!!!!!!!!!
why do i insist on FEEDING people??????
)
Sorry, this seems to have turned into a rant.