So last night at supper I was telling my hubby about how happy I am that I avoided cravings, snacking on junk etc for the last few days. That I finally have some willpower. THen I start to give him some examples. When I am done, he says nothing. So I said were you listening? And he said Yes. So then I ask "Well how come you didn't respond?" and he says "I found you're story repetitive" I was so annoyed. He knows how hard I have been trying and I feel he should have said something supportive or encouraging.
Then this morning, I weigh myself and turn to him and say "Well I am 133! This is officially the lowest I've been since having the baby" You know what he responds?? ! "It took you weighing yourself 3 times to 'officially' know your weight?" (I am one of those who steps on and off to make sure the reading is right)
Urgh. So annoyed. Am I expecting too much? You can be honest. I need to see another view point.
I think I'm going to wait for someone with more wisdom and patience to respond to this, because I simply have nothing nice to say about your hubby. I have an Aries/Irish temper and had it been my man, well.....we won't go there.
But anyway, good for you for resisting the junk food and losing weight! I also step on and off the scale 3 times to make sure I get the most accurate reading. Keep up the good work and all I can say is lead by example. Maybe once he sees how serious you are and how hot you are becoming he can be more supportive and respectful.
Here's my personal take... guys just don't get it. They aren't bombarded by the same pressures to be thin, they ususally don't have the same body image issues that we have... though I am sure there are the exceptions. My husband can be very supportive sometimes... other times he could seem to care less. All I know is you have to do this for you, and if your hubby doesn't get it, well, that's his loss.
My hubby is always supportive, but I think I got lucky (after hearing lots of stories on here!). I'm sure he gets bored with me talking about food and weight over and over. He never says it though, because he knows it helps for me to talk about it.
As for the scale, could your hubby just have been joking around with you about getting the weight 3 times? I can imagine that happening in my house and my DH cracking a smile when he asks it.
Maybe you just need to sit down with him and explain how important it is to you that he be supportive in your weight loss efforts.
"I found your story repetitive". What kind of thing is that to say to your wife? I mean, even if you don't "GET IT", a little politeness would be appreciated. I'm sorry Mayson, maybe he was just having a bad day? Is he usually nicer about your efforts?
My hubby is always supportive, but I think I got lucky (after hearing lots of stories on here!). I'm sure he gets bored with me talking about food and weight over and over. He never says it though, because he knows it helps for me to talk about it.
Mine guy wasn't/isn't always so supportive either. Not in the words that he uses, but he is/was so used to picking me up a candybar or whatever when he's out, that I am having to retrain his thinking. I know he is just trying to be sweet, but I had to explain to him that the temptation is just too strong and if I've had a great on plan day, and I've worked out really hard, him bringing me home chocolate just totally messes me up. So now he thinks twice about it. I had to explain to him how important this is to me and whatnot and that I need his and my son's support. So now, he'll come home and say I almost brought you home a Krispry Kreme but thought twice about it..and so on. It's a learning process and he's getting there. He's reading labels more now and paying attention to calorie count. He makes sure we have the money for me to get to the GYM every week, because he has learned that when I can't get to the GYM, I am not a pleasent person to be around. It's a process for them too. I think he's bit insecure about my losing because of all the attention he knows I'll get and he also knows I was wild back in the day. But whatever...lol...I am also 15 yrs older than the last time I was thin so....
Even last night, we were discussing the fact that I may have to work some nights in whatever job I end up with and I said I hope you are nice enuff to make me a plate of food and save it and he said I will make you the biggest bestest plate of foods ever and I laughed and said, well you don't have to do that, portion (1 serving) sized is fine. I said if you pile on anything, make it veggies.
"I found your story repetitive"??? I'd say you're expecting too much if you're expecting your husband to be supportive or understanding. But frankly, as far as I'm concerned, why bother getting married if you're not going to support each other? I got one of the good ones too - he may zone out when I go on and on, and he's got a sense of humor about the fact that I'm on the 4th different diet plan in two years, but his response is always the same - "Tell me what I need to do to help you." If I tell him I keep thinking about the candy in the house, he asks if he should take it to work. Every time he cooks dinner, he asks what I want (or what the current diet parameters are.) I get a high-five each and every time I report a loss. He's not perfect (his support can sometimes look an awful lot like enabling) but if I got a response like the one you got, I would be PISSED. You are absolutely NOT expecting too much. You're probably not expecting enough!!!! Is he like this in other areas or just weight loss?
I, too, may have grabbed a good one. I know I'm repetitive. I know what I'm talking about bores most people (thank goodness for 3FC!), but my fiancé has never once told me something that sounds that... uncaring.
He, too, has his subjects that he likes to talk about in little circles, and they aren't always the most interesting things, but I make sure to at least pay attention and give a little feedback. It's important to both of us that we at least know about what the other is going through.
I don't think it's too much to expect him to actually be supportive of you. He's your husband! What he says, sounds to me, not only unsupportive, but... downright kinda rude. I believe he at least could have genuinely said "I'm glad you're happy " and "That's great news!" He doesn't have to go into detail, but the tiniest words would have made you feel supported.
Sounds like it's time to have a talk about what you need, and what he's able to give in this respect. "I know what I say can be a bit repetitive, but I'm excited about it and I like to share it with you... because I want you to be happy with me."
Is this normal behavior for your hubby in all types of conversations? If so, then you are expecting too much from him to think it would be different in this area.
If he is normally supportive and encouraging in other areas, then there is something different about this issue, and it would be beneficial for you to talk it out with each other.
I experienced this with my ex. He was almost grouchy with me if I'd bring up anything about my weight loss success. He didn't really want me to lose weight, though. Is that an issue?
On the other hand, it's a tough area to tread in for men (at least those unfortunate ones that find their way into my weird little world) because often if they're too gung-hoe about their wife losing weight then it can be construed as a dig, but if they say nothing, then it's seen as unsupportive.
I think your husband just needs to work on his courtesy skills and not say what I'm sure my current boyfriend feels... all the time!
I wouldn't put too much weight on one response from him, especially if you pressed for it. A lot of men don't have an answer because they can't fix anything. If we insist on an answer, they have to come up with something and chances are, it's not their heart's voice.
With men ... be careful what you ask for because you might just get it.
Well tell him that I weigh myself more than 3 times because the digital scale gives me a different reading every single time, and it is not that unusual to see a n entire pound difference. When I weighed myself this Monday (I weigh myself on the 15th and 31st of each month but I got iimpatient this week ) I had one reading 199 and the very next one 200. The remaining three were something in between.
my fellas ok....
he doesnt want me loosing weight....
and never has....
if i exercise he'll quite happily do his own thing while im doing it....
i know hes insecure about my weight loss....
but he knows my plans....
to get to my target....
maintain it for a couple of months....
then start a family....
so that kinda reassures him....
think even if he did moan n groan....
itd make me more motivated....
Expecting too much from hubby?
I have an Aries/Irish temper and had it been my man, well.....we won't go there.
Keep up the good work and all I can say is lead by example. Maybe once he sees how serious you are and how hot you are becoming he can be more supportive and respectful.
) I had one reading 199 and the very next one 200. The remaining three were something in between.
