Hi, my name is Rose and, as you can guess from my user name, I am from Ohio. I am 52 and single. I have a job that pays the bills and that I (mostly) enjoy, a house that needs a little work, and a cat who keeps me company.
I doubt my story is anything new to those posting there.
I have always thought of myself as pretty overweight. The sad part about that statement is that I never went over 140 pounds (I'm 5'5") until I was out of college and working and living on my own. All that time I was starving myself to get to 115, I should have been simply walking more and doing some toning up. When people see my college pictures now, they talk about the "skinny girl".
Once on my own the weight creeped on until 1978 when I got a walking schedule and dropped about 30 pounds. I was then within 3 pounds of my weight goal of 125 (as set by Weight Watchers).
For the couple of years I was in pretty good shape but, due to my continued preoccupation with being model thin, I didn't think so.
Then, I hit a year of being underemployed and went up to 160+.
I got a job with Girl Scouts then and, thanks to odd work hours, too many work hours and an abundance of Thin Mints available, I added another 80 pounds.
Now I work for a local technical college both as staff and as an adjunct faculty member. Better hours and a wonderful natural setting to work in every day.
Twice in the last 7 years, I made serious efforts to lose weight. The first time, I successful completed the first couple of weeks of the South Beach Diet. On the 14 day, I even had breakfast with my Dad and stayed within the guidelines while eating out. He died later that day. He was 89, in pretty good health for his age, and loved life to the fullest. Thankfully his passing was simply a case of his not waking up.
Although the event pretty much threw me off the diet, the funeral and dealing with his estate kept me busy enough over the next few weeks that I managed to drop a total of 35 pounds at that time. Inevitably, I put about 20pounds back on.
Two years later, I tried again. (Ok, I did try again earlier, but only made it through a couple of days.) That time, I not only completed the two weeks but successfully transitioned for several months getting down another 30 pounds. Then my employer decided it was time to restructure and my job (and salary) radically changed (and not for the better). Maple fudge becames a food staple for me and I gained the weight plus 10 back.
For the last two years, I have had it in mind that, if I try to diet, something horrible is going to happen. Silly, but I have thought that.
This past year, I have had a lot of respiratory problems (which turned out to be related to a large thryoid goiter in my chest that I was unaware was there). I have had a problem with one knee for several years. For the first time, I started to worry about my ability to continue to care for myself. Problem was that I was also feeling completely unable to help myself - I couldn't face another "diet".
Then, two weeks ago, I took a gift card to a bookstore and used it to buy "Quit Digging Your Grave with a Knife and Fork" by Governor Mike Huckabee. He had lost over 100 pounds after becoming governor. The book deals with behaviors - not specifically what you can eat and what you can't. For some reason, the way he discussed the issue clicked with me.
The first behavior on his list was "Stop Procastinating". Fortunately, in the course of having surgery to remove the previously mentioned goiter just a few months ago, I have been through all the medical tests and know that my heart is sound and I am (other than the weight) basically healthy. The day after reading the book, I started changing how I ate.
For my plan, I picked "no white flour, not white sugar". In addition, I focused on getting at least 5 fruits and vegetables each day and drinking 16 oz of skim milk. Finally, I decided to not beat myself up over the little points. I needed to GET STARTED. I know that many products contain both white flour and white sugar, but I decided to not focus on that at this time. I was eating whole bags of Halloween candy and a roll of croissants with butter in an evening of TV watching. THAT'S what I need to change right away. Each day of the first twelve days, there was a task to do from the book.
I was surprised by what happened next. Apparently white sugar/white flour are huge triggers for me. In 5 days, I was walking with less pain on no medication than I previously had with 5-6 Advil everyday. Virtually all the swelling in my ankles, legs, and hands is gone. Work slacks I bought the same day I bought the book are loose. I didn't get measurements because, frankly, I thought it would depress me more, but now I sort of wish that I had. While I am glad about losing 10 pounds in the last couple of weeks, the real benefit has been loosing the bloated, puffy feeling. Movement in general is easier and I have much more energy.
The best thing is that I don't feel like I am on a diet. I know I have a long way to go, but I am committed to celebrating the steps and taking a long term view of the situation. Getting healthier is what is important.
I look forward to talking to all of you.
Last edited by OhioRose; 11-03-2007 at 02:33 PM.
Reason: typo
You have definitely come to the right place for lots of support as you travel down the long winding road to better health and fitness, Chickie . . . so glad to see you found us.
Wow, you've definitely been through a lot of ups and downs. Your story is like a lot of stories I've read and heard, so you are not alone. I am glad you found the inspiration you needed to get going. I relate to you in that you feel you've procrastinated way too much and it is time to do something about it if you want to feel better- forget looking better, you just want to feel better and if you look better- well that is a bonus!
Its amazing when you realize that the superficial no longer matters. You said you were preoccupied with being model thin years ago. I am 27 and its only been a couple of years that I stopped desiring that size 5. I know models these days are size 0 but I've come to terms with the fact that my body is built to be sturdy, not frail, and I will probably have to kill myself to even be a size 5, let alone 0. So I've decided that I just want to be normal and healthy.
I have PCOS, and its funny, I just posted a long reply about PCOS in the "20-something" forum. I don't know if you know anything about poly cystic ovary syndrome, or if you have it, but basically you develop several cysts on your ovaries, your hormones are imbalanced and it can lead to excess weight around the midsection that is hard to lose, male-like hair growth, infertility, irregular menstruation, diabetes, and certain cancers.
For me, I am dealing with the weight gain, the excess facial and body hair, irregular periods (I'll get them every 2 weeks-very heavy and painful, and then they'll go away for several months at a time so I have to be on the pill even though I suspect infertility) and I am very moody and insecure and I have some skin conditions that aren't serious, just annoying, that I believe are related to the PCOS.
I had my 4th laser hair removal treatment on my face yesterday and it was so intense that I cried all the way home because I realized that if I lose weight, chances are, my PCOS symptoms will be reduced, if not go away. I am not sure if they will go away but my Dr. has told me losing weight will help. My moodiness and insecurity really strains my relationship but thank God my boyfriend is understanding but I wish to stop driving him nuts and stop being so overly sensitive about everything he does or doesn't do!
I wish you the best of luck...You know, on Oprah, there was this lady that was very heavy, I think she got up to 500 lbs, and through the years, Oprah has tracked her weight loss. I forgot her name, but she wrote a book about what happens after the weight comes off. She said something that I have never thought about before. She said the difference between naturally heavy people and naturally thin people is their relationship with food. Naturally heavy people will always think about food, no matter how thin or heavy they get, they will always be thinking about getting food or staying away from food, but food will always be on their mind. Naturally thin people don't have their minds on food 24/7- they make comments like "oh, I forgot to eat lunch!" Naturally thin people, if they binge on food, the go on with their lives as if nothing happened and eat the next meal like they normally would. Naturally heavy people binge and they think "Well, I've ruined the day, I might as well as well eat everything else" and they beat themselves up about it in the process. That is what she said and you know what, its true. I am a naturally heavy person, both parents are overweight, my mom had gastric bypass even. I will always relate to food like a heavy person, even if I get skinnier then heck. I will either be obsessed with eating it or staying away from certain foods. And I think that, based on what you said about your prior eating habits, you can relate to this lady's theory. Good luck, keep on going, and remember- its a life style change not a diet, splurges are going to happen, but in the big picture, those splurges won't matter if 90 or 95% of the time you made better, healthier choices!
Hello, I'm new here
And the best of luck to you!
