Hullo! My name is Samantha, im 20 years old and weigh just under 180 lbs.
This is the first time ive tried reaching out for help on this issue, ive always tried to keep my problems ans self esteem to myself. i've never used a messege board before so you'll have to excuse my amature composure.
I've tried everything under the sun to lose weight but no matter what i do i cannot get sapport from anyone, family or friends. I come from a very large italian family, and when i say large, i mean in numbers and gerth. most of the people in my family are perfect examples of the word obese. i love them with all my heart but i dont want to end up like that. they have all accepted the fact that they are large and they seem fine with it "be yourself, dont change for anyone, love who you are" is the typical respose i get.
I try talking to my boyfriend about it, but he says he loves me no matter what. of course thats the right answer but its hard for me to get a straight answer out of him or anyone else.
im reaching out to you guys beause i dont like the way i look and feel. i need to know there are people strugling with themselves the way i am.
I appologize if this is geting a little long but i have a lot to say.
i have never been a healthy weight. i was always the fat chick in school. even now all my friends are like a size 4 or 6. i love that they love me for who i am, but sometimes i feel very out of place. shopping with my best friend for example is like a kick in the gut. not a good feeling. im sure you all know what it feels like to shop with a skinny girl. i dont have to go any further . honestly, i will just sit and cry to myself. NOT out of self pity mind you, but out of frustration and anger. its very hard for me to accept myself, which is why im reaching out to you guys.
Anyway. like i said, ive never used a site like this before, or even a messege board. i would appriciate ANY pointers you can offer. and any open arms you are willing to give.
thank you for listening to me, its refreshing and its starting to give me hope. its been a while since i can say ive had any.
Welcome, and congrats on the first step! I have a lot in common with you, and although my ticker makes it look like I have only "vanity weight" to lose, in 2002 I was over 200 pounds and I got down to 130 in less than a year. Now, it has taken a few years to creep back up, and I am trying to get down to 125-130 PERMANENTLY this time. And I am trying to do it the correct way, as opposed to as fast as I could. Slow and steady really does win the race.
What types of plans are you considering? Exercise? We are all here to support you and all, so keep posting, it really does help!
Welcome! My best advice, keep trying. Keep doing! Surf all the boards, even if it doesn't seem to apply to you because they all have great tips and ideas. Mainly, I find most of us have started on one plan, whether its SouthBeach, WeightWatchers or whatever, and through time, have tweaked to a program that works for us, most of us excersize, even a small amount daily and most of all, we support each other. Good luck!
Congratulations for making the decision to change your life!
You are only 18--does this mean that you still live with your family and eat your meals with them? This will affect the options available to you, I would imagine.
Some suggestions for getting started:
- Start exercising. It's the best thing you can do for yourself. If you can join a gym, do so and go as often as possible (ideally, 5x a week). If you can't join a gym, start walking (and build up to jogging). How much exercise you can manage will depend on your level of fitness right now, but you should quickly be able to work up quickly to a brisk 30 minute walk (get your heart rate up) every day and then build from there.
- If you are eating dinners with your family, portion control is going to be the best you can do at dinner time. If possible, start with a salad to fill your tummy before you begin on the bread and pasta. (Note: carbs are very high in calories. 2 oz of pasta, which is one serving, has about 200 calories. Try not to eat any more than this. It's about 1/2-3/4 cup cooked.)
- If you snack, snack healthily. Munch on carrot sticks or apples. Boring, yes, but snacking on processed and high-fat foods will undermine all your other efforts. You want to fill your tummy with veggies so that you are not inclined to fill it with carbs or fat.
- Since I'm assuming that your dinner might be beyond your control beyond portion size, you'll want to make an extra effort during the day. Have a big salad for lunch each day, with very little dressing. Top it with a small amount of chicken or shrimp if you can. Don't eat bread.
- I would also recommend buying a calorie-count book. I have one called "The Nutribase Complete Book of Food Counts." It's fantastic. If you spend some time educating yourself about the calorie and fat contents of different foods, it will be MUCH easier for you to make smart choices.
- Food journaling is also a really great thing to do. Some people use fitday or nutridiary. I personally use a very cute little notebook. Write down EVERYTHING you eat and drink, and their calorie values, if possible, and write down the exercise you do and tally your weight loss.
- Use these forums! They are filled with supportive and inspiring people.
to be honest, im not sure where to start. i would like to excersise, but im about 45 mins away from the nearest gym. also its hard to find time, im a full time college student and i work full time, my weeks are pretty full. right now im doing my very best to just eat right. sometimes its hard though with all the yummy stuff my mum brings in the house. (i mentioned that my family was VERY italian, so we have cheese and pasta out the ying-yang)
. i dont want to make excuses, i realy wanna just dive right in. ive tried things like pills, healthy solutions (private meetings), and just walking, but its very difficult to work around my schedual. time is my biggest problem right now. second comes motivation. ive tried many things with not many results. i think i hafta find the rigt thing for me, the thing that works best. im still on the hunt for it.
Your progress is fantastic to hear though. its realy uplifting to hear success stories like that. it gives me hope for myself.
If time is the main issue, planning and cooking ahead is going to be key. I try to make a lot of food on Sunday so I am set for the week. Every Sunday I make my breakfast for the entire week, and I grill enough chicken to make sure I have enough for 4 or 5 salads with grilled chicken meals for either lunch or dinner. Then, I snack on pre-packaged stuff like low fat cheese sticks and cut up veggies. I make a south beach friendly dinner for me and my man about 3 or 4 times a week, but on the other nights I have already made chicken and salad and he has fatty stuff like pizza (he's naturally thin; I hate him ) and hot dogs and burritos.
Samantha039, I think it's really brave of you to believe in what you want no matter what your family is saying. Yes, it is good to love yourself no matter what size you are. We are precious human beings, all of us. But sometimes that "love yourself" becomes an excuse for letting things like good health go by the wayside. If you want to lose weight, it's OK for you to want that. You get to decide.
Folks have given you some good suggestions--not all of them will work, but think about what CAN work for you. You go to college--does the college have a track? A gymnasium? Anything like that? Even just grounds on which you can walk during the daytime? I know it's tough when you're scheduled up to the top, but there is ALWAYS a half an hour somewhere to go for a walk. You may not think so, but there is. You just have to try it, you'll see.
Portion control is a good thing to do. Watch out if your family is the kind that always wants to push seconds or thirds--you'll have to learn to smile and say, No, gosh, I'm full, and maybe leave the table. Eat slowly--that also helps in those situations.
Is there a gym on campus? Most campuses have them and you shouldn't be afraid of using it. They can be a little intimidating at first, but if you put yourself on a treadmill for 30 minutes every day before class (or after classes are over), you'll become comfortable there in no time.
Don't use pills! They may help you temporarily to lose weight, but if you want to be slim for a lifetime, you need to learn healthy food and exercise habits. It's just the way it is.
Jayell has some good thoughts there. I designed my own plan with things that I know work for me. When I was in college, I would go for a walk during my lunch hour (20-30 minutes). I also started walking to and from school; even just getting off the bus sooner and walking the rest of the way home.
You can get healthy lunches at the cafeteria on campus like soup, salads, or even a sandwich. I'm also part Italian, but I eat whole wheat bread and some pasta, and I have lost 66 lbs so far, because I just limit my portions each day (ie, using a bowl instead of a plate). I eat lots of fruit and veggies, focusing on my favorites which are apples, peaches, and bananas.
Start with small changes, and with time, things will become easier. You will find ways to work things into your schedule. You probably already do a lot of walking around school and work now. LOL! Remind yourself that you are doing this for your health; for now and the future. We all want to feel comfortable and confident. Start with one-day-at-a-time.
i make it a point everyday to walk durring my lunch, well, when there isnt a wintery slushy mess outside (cold wet toes not good to work in) so at least i have that working for me.
im glad i can get sapport here, cuzz frankly, my friends and family arent realy ready to do it yet...im trying to bring them over to the dark side with me..
I just joined this site last night. I am looking to lose 30 pounds and find the adult "me" that I have not met. I had my first child when I was nearly 20 and I haven't lost the weight since. My daughter is now going to be twelve in a week. I would love to stay in touch and share wisdom and heartache through this process with you. I have a lot of knowledge...it's just a matter of applying it. I am here for support and will power. I know you can do it and I believe in you.
Boy, an Italian family with all of that great food must be really tough! It's really great you have excellent support for who you are NOW. It's wonderful you want to improve for YOU. You are the most important person in your life. Now, if I could just believe that!!!
Excellent suggestions on the on-campus gyms. They can be a bit intimidating with all of the skinny people. If it's too much or not available, do you have stairs in your house? I have found walking up and down stairs to be a great help. Not that I have lost much yet, but I have just started. i call them my baby steps.
you might want to give weight watchers a go. it sounds like it would be a good place for you to start. it makes portion control very easy. if you can't find time exercise for an extended period of time, you should sneak it in! when you wake up do 10 minutes of anything, lift some light barbells, learn a few ab exercises, anything. and then later in the day when you can find a few more mintues ( like when you watch tv) do a little more...one of my favorite sneak in tactics is to do 10-20 reps of something ( usually side bends or plies) each time i go to the bathroom. i even do it at work. it all adds up!
You may be new at the messageboard stuff, but I assure you that your message came through loud and clear that you are a strong and capable person who is ready to DO THIS THING! Congratulations!
Each of us, no matter what our weight, how old or young we are or where we are in our life at this moment deserve to be UNDERSTOOD and RESPECTED for our needs, our wants, and our DREAMS! So often, families pidgeonhole us into who they THINK we are and tell us what our dreams SHOULD BE! Friends will question why we want to be a certain way, why we feel the way we feel. Sometimes it can be overwhelming because we don't always know WHY we feel a certain way! We just DO! It is hard being around thin people when YOU are NOT thin. Thin people don't always understand how we are feeling about ourselves!
On this site you will share in a wonderful experience because everyone here KNOWS how it feels to want to be something that you aren't YET! Everyone here is sharing in an experience of supporting one another's personal goals- regardless of what those goals are!
My oldest son is 26 and recently lost 75 pounds. Of all the people in my family he is my closest ally in my weightloss. Why? He KNOWS what it means to want a body that you don't yet have! He KNOWS how it feels to want to be thinner, more mobile, more able to look well in clothing. The rest of my family may love me, but they DON'T know what I am going through trying to lose these hundred pounds! My son knows because he lost 3/4 of that weight himself!
Post often, read a lot on all the parts of the site, and KNOW that there are many, many people here who will be right there in your pocket to help and support you through this. Support and encouragement can come from anywhere. HERE there's a TON of it! Welcome aboard!
Boy Do i have a Story! please help =)
. honestly, i will just sit and cry to myself. NOT out of self pity mind you, but out of frustration and anger. its very hard for me to accept myself, which is why im reaching out to you guys.
